So Close

2008 – One Step Ahead

Self-discipline and any form of denying myself not being my strong points, New Year’s resolutions have been notoriously short-lived in my life. Not once have I managed to stop smoking / drinking / overeating because of a well-intentioned resolve announced on New Year’s Eve. The smoking I stopped because I had to (I got pregnant); the other two remain my ever faithful companions.

So this year I am not going to make resolutions, I am instead going to attempt to work towards a new objective: I am going to do my best to stay one step ahead.

I am going to work towards staying one step ahead of my finances. Thanks to a generous ‘bonus’ from my husband, I have managed to pay off my overdraft. I earn a very decent salary; there is no reason why I should be spending more than I earn. I resolve to work at staying one step ahead of the income minus expenditure equation. I am not making grand promises about saving heap loads of money, but I can stay out of overdraft.

I am going to try get to the point where I am one step ahead of my weight. Since my miscarriage in April, I have steadily put on weight because dieting seemed like too much effort. No more. I am going to go on diet and lose the extra weight. I don’t have to be skinny thin, but I also don’t have to be as heavy as I am now. 

I am going to sort out all my admin. It is going to be a HUGE pain in the arse, but once I am done, it will be so much easier to stay up to date. 

I want to catch up on the backlog of my life, sort out all the things I’ve ignored for so long (my health, my relationships, my future, my career etc), and then once done, make sure I stay one step ahead. It is just so much easier than continually trying to catch up.

Thanks for your loyalty, love and support over the past year.  Wishing you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2008. 

Seven things about Durbanville, Western Cape, South Africa

My dear friend Jennifer asked me if I played the tag game, and I usually don’t (not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t have the time), but I thought this was a pretty cool one to do. Jennifer’s piece was about Ashland, which is somewhere in America. Apparently ;-)  It’s nice to learn more about the different cities and towns we live in. I would be interested to read your ‘seven things’ too. I tag all of you!  Either link back to your blog in the comments section (be sure to mention which city/town you are writing about), or simply tell me more in the comments section here.

So, here are seven interesting / fun / unique / special observations about living in Durbanville, Western Cape, South Africa

1. Firstly, Durbanville is home to one the top producing wine routes in the country. The wine farms are literally on my door stop. Read more about the Durbanville Wine Route here. PS If you ever see any Durbanville Hills wine on your shelves overseas, buy it! It is delicious.

2. Durbanville has a uniquely ‘rural’ feel, which I love. We are surrounded by farms and vineyards. “Durbanville is arguably one of the best groomed and well looked after residential, business and agricultural areas in Cape Town today. Many exciting developments have taken place here over the past few years, at the same time however, Durbanville has managed to retain it's lush and greenery and rural atmosphere which makes the area so attractive.”

3. Durbanville is home to the Cape Hunt and Polo club. We have our own Polo Crosse fields. It’s all very posh. I used to have horses when I grew up and have done quite a few shows at the equestrian club. Dressage, show jumping and eventing. I wasn’t very good, but I did win a few prizes.

4. Durbanville is in the Northern Suburbs of Cape Town, and behind what is jokingly referred to as the “Boerewors Curtain” (Boerewors literally translated means Boer / Afrikaans Sausage).

“There is a distinct difference between the northern and southern suburbs of Cape Town, and, as with many cities divided by a river or other landmark, Cape Town has an imaginary line the locals call 'the boerewors curtain'.”

The accusation is that the northern suburbs is full of Afrikaans yokels who braai for breakfast, lunch and supper. Usually drinking their brandy and cokes, watching rugby, and walking around shirtless with their big beer bellies belching over their polyester safari shorts. Although there are a few of those around, Durbanville is becoming increasingly more English.

“Ask any resident of Cape Town and the major distinction between the northern and southern suburbs will be language - English-speaking people live in the south and Afrikaans-speaking people live in the north - but this is a sweeping generalisation and doesn't take into account the obvious exceptions to the rule.”

5. Durbanville has one of the best quality drinking water in the world. Ok, this is not unique to Durbanville, but a fact of the entire country. We drink water straight from the tap and it is delicious!

6. Although Durbanville falls in a winter rainfall region, it has a typical Mediterranean climate. Cold, wet winters and hot, dry summers. Spring and Autumn bring perfect balmy days, ideal weather conditions for being outside.

Average Winter Temperatures: 18.5°C (65.3F)
Average Summer Temperatures: 24.3°C (75.7F)
Average Annual Rainfall: 350 to 400mm

The Durbanville Wine Valley is home to some of the last remaining renosterveld in the Western Cape. Renosterveld forms part of the Cape Floral Kingdom. Today, less than 4% of it remains. 

7. And then because crime is such a big issue in South Africa, let me share with you the second most important reason why I choose to live in Durbanville (the first one being that my mother lives here):

“As the area has a very low crime rate it has become very popular and the price of residential property has increased over 400% in the last five years and is still growing.” – taken from Wikipedia

“…suburb of Durbanville which is rated as having the lowest crime rate in Cape Town”

I grew up in Durbanville, and after living all over South Africa, I returned back to Durbanville when my children were born. I love living here, whenever I drive over the hill into my suburb, I feel a real sense of coming home.  I am really lucky to live in such a beautiful area and I hope my children have the same wonderful childhood as I did growing up in Durbanville.

But how do you make it drink?

I have a dirty secret and I can’t keep it to myself anymore, it is eating me up inside. I am going to share it with you, hoping that instead of holding it against me, you will help me out of this terrible mess I’ve created: My children are terrible eaters, and I am to blame.

It is not that I feed them junk food (at least junk food is some food, oh please dear children, eat some junk food! How about a delicious burger? No? Just eat the burger patty then? No? The fries then? A DRY PIECE OF BREAD?? ANYTHING, JUST BLOODY WELL EAT SOMETHING!!), it is just that between our terrible attitude towards food (we see food as a fuel, necessary to survive rather than as something to be enjoyed) and the fact that I don’t cook, it is not surprising that they are terrible eaters.  Marko and I live off salads, sushi, or heat n eats. Not unhealthy stuff necessarily, but not exactly home cooked meals.  I wish we could sit down and eat as a family, but Marko gets home far too late.

I made the biggest mistake when they were babies in that I was so paranoid that they wouldn’t eat, that I offered them a million meals if they refused the first one. I would do anything to ensure they got something inside of them. As a result, they eat very badly. They have a range of about 2.5 meals that they will eat and they won’t try anything new. They just refuse.

So, there. I’ve admitted guilt, I understand fully that this is my fault, but how do I fix it? They won’t even TRY new foods.

Oh wait, there’s more. Because they eat so badly, and because I want them to get at least SOME nutrition, they are still on formula. Shocking, shocking admission of Very Bad Mothering. They are on the best brand formula, for ages 1-3. We have two weeks left before even the formula people think my kids are too old for that shit.

It’s a vicious cycle. They have formula and therefore they aren’t hungry.  Because they aren’t hungry, they won’t eat. Because they wont eat, I give them formula so that they get some nutrition at least. I am clinging to that formula like a lifeline. God knows what I am going to do when they go off it.

I need solutions. Solutions that are going to fit into my family.   I am never going to be able to cook really well, but I am prepared to try anything that will make them eat. If I could get them to eat a bit of meat, and some raw veggies etc for supper, I would be happy. Anything that is more nutritious than two minute noodles and macaroni cheese. They won’t even eat the Woollies kiddies meals anymore!! Everyone likes Woollies meals. Philistines!

I’ve heard it said that you should just leave healthy snacks out, and they will eat it eventually. Doesn’t work here. I can’t tell you how many plates of healthy food I have thrown away because they simply won’t eat it. I tried to convince them once that the hand-shelled, super expensive baby peas I bought were sweets, but they saw through that.  I’ve tried cooking for them. Making kid friendly meals that I promise, cross my heart, don’t taste that bad, but to no avail, they refuse to eat it.  You can take a horse to the water, but how do you make it drink?

I’ve created my own monster and I am not quite sure how to fix it. I keep hoping that somehow they will start wanting more food on their own. I got SO excited the other day when Adam said he was hungry. Alas, he actually meant ‘thirsty’.

Do I force them to eat? (How?) Do I punish them if they don’t eat? Do I starve them until they eat what I put in front of them?  Will that work? Do I stop the formula, force them to eat and just let them go for 1, 2, 7, 475 days without eating? What if they get sick? Or starve to death???

I don’t think the solution is trying new / different foods, because they will refuse that like they refuse the stuff I have already tried. They know if they refuse xyz, mommy will give in and give them two minute noodles, a peanut butter sandwich or macaroni cheese just so that they eat something. They aren’t not eating because they don’t like the taste; they aren’t eating because they can get away with not eating. I HATE FEEDING MY KIDS!!! Hate it. It is the worst job in the world.

I know, I know. It is all my fault, you don’t need to tell me that. Just tell me how to fix it.

(Forgot to add:  I do give them GummyVites every day, the multivitamin, the vitamin C and the Propolis and Echinacea)

Leftovers

Last night when I eventually got into bed at 10:00pm (first time I had stopped running all day) I lay back with a massive sigh and said to Marko “I am SO glad that is over!”, and he said me too. It’s terrible, the two of us were so glad Christmas day was over. And we were the same with our wedding day, so relieved once it was over. We had a lovely day (both yesterday and on our wedding day), but those kind of frenetic events stress both of us out. We almost always end up having an argument (although not on our wedding day) because Marko’s analness comes to fore in a BIG way, and I get stressed because I know he is getting stressed. And then he gets irritated with the kids and with everyone else and I then get irritated with him for acting like a gigantic asshole and then we start snapping at each other and by the end of the day we are both exhausted. We simply aren’t a ‘go with the flow’ type of couple. Well, I am positively laissez-faire compared to Marko but even I get stressed out when things get busy, noisy and chaotic. Like Christmas lunch with about 17 million toddlers and three times as many presents. And I wasn’t even the hostess! My fabulous little sister Nina was. She is by FAR the best entertainer / chef / party thrower / domestic goddess.

Picture of Nina in action.

(Nina and her daughter Lily-Rose)

I’ve always hated my own parties for the same reason – way too much stress.  I don’t mind going to other people’s parties because at least I can leave when things get too hectic. But I am turning 40 next birthday and I really think I should do something. My mother is turning 60 at the same time and I am thinking of having a combined party for the both of us. CLEARLY not at my house. I think I should hire a place and have everything catered. Oh heavens, I can’t think about that now. I am still recovering from the Christmas celebrations.

(Rebeka, Little Miss Happiness aka Kate, Lily-Rose, Daniel, Zack, Fifi and Adam)

Please notice little Miss Happiness in the pic. She was NOT amused that she first had to pose for a pic before she could open her presents. I think she inherited her sunny disposition from her father.

I am sitting here alone at the moment. The kids are sleeping (praise the lord) Marko has left in a bit of a huff. He is upset about something and drove his car extra fast and loud up the road so that everyone can hear how cross he is. What is it with that? I can never understand that. Does he think anyone cares if he revs his car extra loud to show how cross he is? I don’t.  Anyway, he has left, the kids are asleep and I have just made myself the most delicious salad with the leftovers (leftover lamb, gammon, cold turkey, lettuce, rocket, tzatziki, sundried tomatoes, pine nuts, feta and tomato, drizzled with a divine vinaigrette dressing – YUM). I was thinking to myself what a pity it was that it wasn’t night time, because a glass of wine would be absolutely perfect to accompany my delicious salad and then I thought ‘why the hell not!’ and poured myself a little smidgen of wine to accompany my salad. I love being a grown up. You can do exactly what you want to do. Even drink wine, on your own, right in the middle of the day.

Speaking of which, I am just warning you now that I am going on diet from the 01^st January. I have NEVER been so heavy in my (normal, non-pregnant) life before. It’s been fun while it lasted but it has to come to an end soon.  Something Must Be Done. Soon.

Well, my salad is finished, my wine is long gone and the kids will be waking up soon. (Heaven knows when Sulky Susan will be back). This little break on my own might just have been the best part of Christmas so far. Ho ho ho indeed.

More Christmas pics on my Flickr page here.

Mental note to self for next Christmas

1. Make sure you have enough batteries for the gifts. Explaining to a three year old that they can’t play with their new remote control car because SOMEONE (no names mentioned, but it begins with an M and ends with an o) didn’t buy enough batteries the day before does not work.

2. Preassemble everything before you wrap it. Or else you will spend half the time trying to convince the child that you can only assemble it once you get home and the second half giving in to the whining and assembling it anyway while the rest of the family eats and drinks.

3. Refuse that last helping. You really do not have space for any more, no matter how delicious it is.

Hope you had a good day today. Ours was exhausting, but at least the kids had a fantastic time. Nothing like ending Christmas day with a dip in the pool.

Good night dear hearts, I am off to bed. I’ve had just about as much festive cheer as I can handle.

The start of something big

2008 is going to be a good year for us; I can feel it in my waters. It is just a sense I have; I hope I am right. I think I am.

There are big changes afoot, for Marko and for myself. Stuff I can’t talk about yet; stuff I am dying to tell you about. I will hopefully be able to tell you more within the next few weeks.

The last decade has been a tough one; one characterised by hardship and fear. It seemed like we were surviving one storm after another, but I can sense the tide is turning. Things are looking up, our attitudes are changing and for the first time in a long, long time, I feel excited about the future. It’s hard to put into words, but I think our time has come. It is our turn now. 

I know not to tempt fate. I know that life is a funny old thing, and that bad stuff can happen to anyone, at anytime, but I can sense a sea of change. I really think 2008 is going to be the start of a whole new life for us. I can’t wait.

Watch this space, Big Things are going to happen around here.

Fair is fair

“Adam, let your sister flush the toilet this time, it is her poopies after all”

Sorry I’ve been such a bad blogger. This festive cheer business is exhausting, so much to do, so little time. I hope you chaps are having a merry old time and eating and drinking loads. Will catch up with you as soon as I get five minutes to spare. Smooches xxx

What does Christmas mean to you?

Pick as many answers apply, or choose 'other' and fill in your answer in the space provided

Alternatively, the following purpose could apply

Kate, on spotting a box of tampons in the bathroom: “Mom, you use those things to put up your bum and pull the poopies out, ok.”

Adult Sensory Integration Dysfunction / Adult Sensory Processing Disorder

I’ve been meaning to do this post for a while, but it is one of those posts that take time and thought, neither of which I’ve had much opportunity for lately. It’s about adult SID / SPD.

I’ve always had sensory issues, ever since I can remember, but it has only been through Adam’s SID diagnosis that I’ve come to realize what I have is (mild) SID and not just a case of Extreme Oddness. Although there is no denying I am Extremely Odd.