I am the key speaker at a fund raising event tomorrow night. I am doing my thing in front of 450 people. If I wasn’t on happy pills and Chardonnay, I would be vomiting with nerves right now.
Instead I am deliciously mellow and in love with life. La la laaaaaaaaaa. Speech? What speech?
In addition, I am sporting several gouges on my rather large schnozz thanks to Adam. We were horsing around and as I wrestled him to the ground he grabbed on to the biggest thing he could reach. My nose. Have scratches and marks all over it. V unfortunate. V unattractive.
The lovely folk at the Melka Ella Foundation (wonderful cause! Please donate freely! Love those Jewish folk!) are flying Marko and I up to the dinner. And paying for our accommodation. I, being the generous big hearted giver that I am, am talking for gratis at the event. Am waiving my entire (non-existent) professional appearance fee. Me = winner.
I should be nervous because there are going to be 450 people there. And several important Rabbis. Am wearing same demure outfit as before (borrowed from my mother). Clearly am old hat at this orthodox stuff by now.
So anyway, how sad is this…..
I used that
advanced online check in thing and checked
Marko and I Marko and myself Me and Marko Marko and me the two of us in tonight. That thing where
you can pre-book your seats online. Marko loves sitting at the window. I have to sit at the aisle or else I
might get trapped in by the two other people in the seats next to me and what
if I need to wee and can’t get out and my bladder explodes and then I have a
panic attack and die. And neither of us wants
to sit in the middle seat. I asked him
if it would seem terribly odd if we sat apart and he said he thought it would
be fine. So we are sitting in 4A and
4C. Let’s hope we don’t get anyone in
4B. We really are the most unromantic
couple in the world.
Anyway, think of me tomorrow night. I must go now because I really have had far too much Chardonnay.
Shalom aleichem my friends.