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Want to do IVF in South Africa?

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Still trying for #2....just finished our first IVF cycle. Blood test is this Friday. Not sure I have it in me to go through this again, but I'm sure that will change over time. It's roller coaster ride, well beyond what I imagined. My clock is ticking, so there won't be a lot of time to decide. (I just turned 40 and my "deadline" age for pregnancy keeps inching up with each failed try.)

Well, apparently, my RE wants to stop me from doing another IVF. At least with my own rotten eggs. We're not ready to give up just yet, though.

A mixture of money and my husbands unwillingness to do it again. I think it's mostly money though, if it was free I have a hard time believing that we wouldn't try it until it worked (for #2).

We were incredibly lucky to get triplets from our first IVF cycle. But that was high risk: they were born at 30 weeks, weighing from 2 1/2 to just over 3 pounds with typical preemie issues. The kids continue to be at risk from low birth weight and developmental delays. I also had complications with a small stroke and HELLP syndrome, and was quite ill for the first 5 months. The stress and anxiety of the whole experience was the most difficult of my life. And we know other families who've suffered devastating losses with triplet or higher pregnancies.

So, while we'd love another child, we're way too scared to do anything "high risk" again. We hit the jackpot once, and we won't be pushing our luck by trying IVF again. Getting old and fearing that it won't work are important factors, but just plain fear is the biggest issue. With regret, we are done. And we count our blessings 1, 2, 3 every day.

We're still battling to GET to IVF.

Our (quite lovely, so I just can't be firm with her) RE keeps faffing about with other stuff because we got pregnant once before that way. I'm going to have to remind the woman that, yes, we did concieve, but WE HAVE NO BABY. And, yes, eventually we'll probably get pregnant again with the low tech stuff, but it could take years. Arrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!

Just give me 50% comulative live birth per egg retrieval over 1% per spontaneous cycle any friggin day.

There. I feel better now.

this is so not completely relevant, but it might be helpful to anyone going thru any attempts to get pregnant. it came from the health pages of www.abc.com.au Worth thinking about anyway?

"One strong cup of coffee can reduce chances of conception. As little as 30mg of caffeine per kilogram of bodyweight can affect conception. Caffeine is a stressor; it stimulates heart and brain and also stimulates hormone release that negatively interacts with reproductive hormones controlling fertility. Caffeine affects whether or not the fertilized egg (embryo) successfully implants in the uterus or not."

Ruth, You *are* joking. Right? You *have* to be joking............

I'm fairly sure Ruth is joking....(I hope.)

Anyway, I answered "without hope it will work" because we have it on good faith from the doctors that the 6 that failed before trend to a lower chance future attempts would turn out differently.

But actually, I guess it's because since we adopted our baby son I feel compelled to continue growing our family in that way instead. It’s been so blessed that now I just can’t think of any big reasons not to continue on in this manner. I’m not inferring that adoption is without pain, disappointments and costs – everyone knows that it is. But hey…. If I got so lucky with son #1, I think I’ve got to put my hand up at least once more and hope for the best.

Great poll. And you could not have said it more concisely. If I had unlimited funds, I'd gladly do several more cycles of IVF in hopes of having a 2nd child with my DNA. But I have POF, and we have spent so much of IVF already, and the odds of it working are so poor, we're looking at an outlay of $40,000 US just to achieve maybe a 10% to 20% chance of success, so screw that. We're moving on to DE.

I'm really sorry this IVF didn't work, and my heart really goes out to you. IVF has never been an option to us because of finances, though we have been lucky enough to be successful in some other areas. For that reason I hope you're not upset about me commenting, I just want to offer a little bit of support.

I hope your book sales take off so that the finances won't be a roadblock for you!

I live in a state where IVF is covered by insurance. So financially I could do another cycle...but it would be a lot of blech for a colossal waste of time. We did a FET/thaw cycle in April and our embros thawed beautifully. The doctor who did the transfer looked at us and said "wow, these look great. They're still 8 celled with very little fragmentation." I believe I snickered. Trust me, doc, if anyone can fuck it up, I will...and did. The cycle was a bust and we're done. We are blessed to have 4 year old twins (they're a fluke; didn't get the memo that my reproductive system sucks). In a few years we'll decide if we want to adopt or not. For now, we're good.

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