Using the fertility monitor has been very
tricky with Kate around. Kate is our
little much appreciated and adored alarm clock. Yes, even though we don’t need
to be awake until much later, darling Kate wakes up every morning between 5 and
6am. She is a total morning person and
0.25 seconds after opening her eyes she is singing, wriggling, wanting me to
Mrs Miss Polly had a dolly”. Which I do
in an effort to get her to ‘please my girl, please lets lie here for another
five minutes’. Singing anything that
early in the morning is enough to give one a splitting headache for the rest of
the day. Especially when you get “another
one Mom, louder!” This morning, all
within two minutes of waking up, I had to sing Miss Polly, then sing it like a
baby, then “sing it like a spider” (WTF??) then I had to “be like a monkey, Mom”,
then when I asked if we could just lie quietly for a while I was told I was
very naughty and that I had to go to my room. Then thank goodness it was Marko’s
turn. All before I’ve pried the sleep
out of my eyes.
Anyway, you are supposed to use the fertility monitor just after you have woken up and with Kate around, this has been a bit of a challenge. I first tried to sneak off to the bathroom but having the nose of a bloodhound, she is quick to ferret me out of my hiding place. “What you doing Mom?” Which signals the end of our lying down for the extra five minutes.
My next trick was to leave the monitor next to my bed, so that I could surreptitiously sneak my arm out and take a quick reading. (If she thinks I am getting up she is out of that bed like a bullet) Which worked until she found the monitor lying there. “I do it Mom”. There is something a little weird about seeing your daughter with the fertility reader thingy in her mouth, taking her readings.
Then this morning, after a terrible night with Adam (he has a cough, had to neb him at 3am) she woke up at FIVE am (oh dear lord). After finding the monitor next to the bed, she decided that “I be the doctor Mom”. In desperate hope of just five more minutes of lying down, I gave the monitor to her while she ‘beed the doctor’ using the monitor to poke around my feet.
The next thing I heard a crash and an “oops” and there was the monitor in pieces. Battery out, all my readings lost.
Well, there you have it. I’ve been wondering whether using the monitor was just creating extra negative stress and if I should stop using it. Looks like I have my answer. For this cycle anyway. Just as well, because this cycle is a total mess anyway. I’ll pack my little monitor away until later and just shag for fun this month. Probably better that way.
That Kate. She is an unbelievable child. And she used to be such a sweet, good baby. I have no idea where she gets her sassiness (and dress sense) from.
Those of you interested in the words for Miss Polly, read further. Perhaps I will tape us singing it. V catchy tune. V annoying tune after the 100th iteration.
Miss Polly’s Dolly
Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick
She called for the doctor to come quick, quick, quick
He came in a hurry with his bag and his hat
He knocked on the door with a rat-a-tat-tat
He looked at the baby and he shook his head
He said to Miss Polly, “Put her straight to bed.”
He wrote on a paper for a pill, pill, pill
I’ll be back in the morning with my bill, bill, bill.