When are you too old to have a baby? How old is too old?
I’ve been thinking about this lately as I consider what to do about having another child. Even though I am incredibly gorgeous and divine, I am not in the first flush of my youth. Or my second, or third probably. In fact, I am bloody ancient and completely decrepit. I have limbs and joints falling out as I walk. ‘Oops, sorry! That was my hip joint, here, let me move it out your way.’ Or I feel that way at least. These kids of mine age me terribly. Buggers. SLEEP ALREADY!!
The last few weeks have left me feeling quite exhausted, and although many of the younger moms have assured me they feel as tired too, I can’t help but feel that at almost 39, I don’t quite have the energy I had at 29.
Julie and I were talking about this the other day. About how old is too old. We both feel 60 is too old, especially with newborn twins. However, I don’t feel that a maximum age should be enforced in any way. I feel that if a woman feels that she is able to raise children in an adequate and loving way, then who is to say she shouldn’t be allowed to follow her own reproductive choices?
SIDE NOTE: 99% OF PREGNANCIES TO WOMEN OVER 45 ARE FROM DONOR EGGS!!! NOT FROM THEIR OWN EGGS.
I mention that not because it matters whether the baby is a result of donor eggs, or bio eggs, but because let’s not fool ourselves, and especially others less in the know, that one’s fertility is ever lasting. If you are older than 45, the chances are 99% good that you will have to use eggs other than your own. Ok?
So, while I feel that we shouldn’t legislate or enforce a maximum cut off age, I do feel that there is a point where you are just too old to be a new mom. But what is that point?
It is impossible for me to say what that point should be for anyone else. I do feel 60 is too old but not 50. So what about 52? Ok. So what is another 3 years? 55. Well, ok. Then why not 57? 60? It is really difficult, and perhaps none of our business really.
Instead, I will tell you what I think my personal cut off age is. And that is 40. For my own situation, I don’t think I could handle having a child after 40. Not because I think it is unfair on the child – I really don’t buy that, sorry. Why is a loving 45 year old new mom not ok and a distant, reluctant 18 year old who didn’t want the baby in the first place ok? No, my age 40 cut off has more to do with me and my own personal energy and strength levels. I am not sure *I* would cope with newborns too much longer after 40. But then again, it could just be that I am feeling ancient today after a bad night.
What are your thoughts? What is your personal cut off age?
(Please be respectful, and mindful of the fact that many of my readers only became first time moms way after 40. Remember they often did so not out of choice, but out of circumstance. Don’t be hurtful. Speak about yourself rather than passing judgement on others. Thanks!)