The hospital gig

Picture the scene, Sicily: May, 1948. Or rather, Isolation unit: April, 2007.

So, while I am here, help me while away the time. Tell me: what is your protocol when it comes to overnight hospital stays with your toddler? Do you stay over or do you go home and come back the next morning? Why? 

Then, when it comes time for nasties like injections, drips etc, do you go in with the baddies and hold your child yourself, or do you prefer not to be part of all that? Why?

Lastly, is your one butt cheek bigger than the other? I swear mine is. My panties always seem to creep up the one butt cheek more than the other.  It’s annoying. But not annoying enough to wear a piece of string up my ass all day. Now THAT must be v v annoying indeed. 

Comments

[Julia]

Always have one of you stay overnight. A lot happens at night and the babe needs you there. And always, if they allow it, be with them for procedures. Just enough to say: I know, I know, it is bad, but we'll get through it together while you are holding them down. And! Only if you don't freak out, because if you do you should not be in there. Just my opinion from years of hospital experience with the kiddos and a recent kidney transplant!

[Author Mom with Dogs]

Total agreement with Julia.

As for the butt cheek question? No way to tell, as my undies are so old, the elastic billows out. Now there's a pretty picture for you.

Hope you and Adam are home soon.

[Rhonda]

Oy, Tertia. I'm thinking about you. I hope Adam feels better soon.

As for the butt cheek, dunno, but we are none of us perfectly symmetrical, so your butt is probably normal.

Does it make you feel better to know that I have an assymetrical problem too? One of my boobs hangs lower, even with a bra. V v embarrassing, especially if it's even the slightest bit cold out (I'm sure you get what I mean). Every time I look in a mirror and see that I've been walking around with misaligned headlights again I just want to die.

[Michele]

Would have to go with the staying over night. I would hate for my kid to wake up in the middle of the night in a strange place and not have me there.

I am also the hands-on parent too. When the kids get their shots I am the one holding them down and comforting them. Even when they give me those looks of "how could you hurt me like this?!" I am still there wiping their tears away and hugging them.

Butt cheeks? Due to injections in those butt cheeks for the past 7 days (3 more to go) I haven't been wearing panties all week. Sexy - but not. I do have lumpy butt cheeks right now though - maybe my undies would stay up if I got them up and over those lumps instead of falling down.

I was always jealous of my sister's bubble butt - I am convinced she doesn't have the misfortune of falling undies like I do with my flat ass.

I hope Adam is well very soon!!

[MamaChristy]

When I was little, I had to have some tests done on my bladder. They were very painful, but they refused to let my mother be in the room. They told her that they didn't want me to associate my mother with the pain. Or that I was in pain, crying out to her, and her not doing anything to make it better and have me be angry at her. I don't know if this was the right thing to do or not, but I was never angry at my mom for not being there, just glad that she was there right after to comfort me.

[Cricket]

I am sorry about Adam. I am sure the sensory stuff makes it harder. I remember being about 5 and in the hospital - could not sleep for the noise and lights, not to mention food I would not dare to eat. If you sleeping is not an issue, stay. If you'd be better for him if you got good sleep, then go.

My ass is clearly asymetrical; I have been gathering data (ewww!) for years with the one sided wedgie. Thing is, I don't know if a larger right side steals all the covers from the left, or if the covers just can't make it all the way over the hugeness of the left. So I don't know which side is at fault, not that it matters.

[Spacemom]

With my baby I stayed overnight. So far, knock on wood, no toddler or preschool hospital visits.

I also would rather help for the drip. This way my child knows that it is for help...They know I would never hurt them out of anger...

[kbreints]

My son had to stay overnight at 3 weeks old! It was terrible and both my husband and I stayed. It was very tough - not like when he was born - they took him to the nursery at night. We still had to get up and feed him and change him. the nurses did nothing but come in and inflict pain. I also held him while he got stuck with the IV. I would not have had it any other way.

[Andrea]

Talk about your non-segue.

[anon]

Since you asked. . . I buy the thongs a size too large so the string isn't actually up anything. It just rests nicely and comfortably outside of the, um, crack. Works well with cheap underwear as they never seem to fit right anyway.
Sorry about your weekend in the hospital.

[Jeannie]

I agree with the above. My little guy had a hospital stay recently and I stayed the whole time, nights and days, didn't leave the hospital until he did. I stayed through all the needles and tests. It's what I needed to do. A psychologist friend of mine says that even through the tough stuff, if you can stay with your child, it's better to stay. They would rather have you there, esp. when very young.

But I also agree with the person above who said if you can't stay calm and positive, it's better to leave and have your spouse stay or someone your child trusts.

Best wishes for Adam feeling better!

(BTW, this is me de-lurking -- first comment ever and I've been reading for ages. I love your blog!)

[Rebecca]

I also vote for staying. When all is said and done, I would hate for my son to feel abandoned on top of it all.

[Louise M]

If you are able to stay at the hospital, then stay. Adam will need you during the night. Marko is fine at home with Kate. I remember when my daughter broke her arm (and required surgery to fix it), she was eight, my husband was at sea, and I had to go home because I had our son at home (and the hospital didn't allow parents to stay at that time). Got to the hospital the next morning, my poor daughter was in tears. She had needed a pain shot during the night, and a not very sympathetic nurse had just jabbed her with the needle and then left. She was all alone in the hospital, scared and in pain. Felt like an _ss.

[shayneegray]

We had a hospital stay back in January, and both my husband and I didn't leave the hospital the entire time (we only have the one child). But our daughter was in the ICU and things were not looking good for a couple of days at first. And then when she was finally awake, we wanted to be with her because it was probably all so disconcerting...and we were still paranoid about our close call. All the medical staff handled the nasty procedures. I hope Adam feels his best again soon.

[mary ann]

In my family, someone ALWAYS stays with the person in the room at the hospital, whether it's a child or an adult, overnight and all day. That's just how we do things. When my sister had her back surgery at fourteen, she was always very happy when it was my turn to hang out at the hospital, because I was willing to take my book and sit in the hallway and let her have a couple of hours to herself. But that's as close as anyone in my extended family has ever gotten to being alone at the hospital.

You can imagine my shock when my boyfriend (now fiance) had his appendix out and I came to visit and he was like "I know it's boring here. You can go if you want." I was like, "Oh, I started taking hospital shifts when I was thirteen. I came prepared with a bag of books. When your mom gets back, I'll stay so she can go home and freshen up." We then had a little go-round while I named off his extended family and he assured me his mother had visited for twenty minutes and otherwise, he was left alone in the hospital.

It had never occurred to me that such a thing was an option, but that's how it works for them. His mother's had several surgeries in the past two years and he feels no obligation to get with everyone and coordinate a schedule. So, apparently, whatever you're comfortable with will work, but I'd stay.

[Heather G]

Yes, yes, yes to the butt cheek thing. I am such a worrier I thought I had muscle wasteage or something. Then I realised it was from losing weight after the pregnancy and then always favouring one leg when picking up the child. It was like a 50 times a day work out for one leg/buttock only. I tried to favour the other leg and now he's older I only have to pick him up 49 times a day so it's got better. Not completely but only I can see the difference.

[NMOTB]

My youngest child is 7 and he was in hospital last week. I have always stayed with my children when they are in hospital, just this time i was a bit smarter and asked for a private room or lodging room as they call it. At least I got a bed to sleep in (beats doing the lazy boy / chair next to bed ritual). I do it because I dont want to leave my child alone in the hospital - hve seen lots of scary shit that will make your hair raise - by staying with him 24/7 I know at least he is taken good care of. I go with him for all the nasty's too, for comfort and support - having a drip put in can be very traumatic for the little ones.

Oh and about the butt cheek - will have to go and check and let you know - that is something I have not really noticed!

Just wanted to say, I love your blog (come here almost everyday and I have read your book !

Take Care

[Heather]

I think it depends on you and your child... I believe in going with your gut. If your gut says you should stay, stay. Have Marko bring you an overnight bag so you can be as comfortable as possible. It's no use being there if your little one knows you are miserable as well, right? If you choose to go home, do what you would normally do when you leave them for work, etc. Tell them you love them, kiss and hug, off you go, whatever your method is. I don't think there is a right or wrong... I hate making my children do yucky things, like get vaccines. But what good am I doing them by standing there blubbering like a baby, or having an obviously difficult time trying to keep my own composure? I am probably scaring them more than I would if I had just let them go with someone who was better equipped to handle the situation.

And the butt thing... I LOATHE thongs... Hate them. Best friends wears them and nothing else. Have you tried to short-style undies? Those don't creep on me. I can stay wedgie-free all day. In normal undies, I feel like I am constantly "adjusting." HA!

Here's to a speedy exit from the hospital for Adam. *cheers*

[jane]

Definitely stay with them, they will get scared and noone will be in the room with them (Emma was always petrified and wouldn't even let me put her down.) Also, be with him for any procedure unless you think you'll make it worse.

I hope you guys get home soon!

[mellie]

Stay at hospital--and I'll get right to it--what if something went awry and you weren't there? And, maybe one hip is higher than the other, or it may be a difference in thigh to butt-cheek ratio from side to side that gives you less of a "ledge' for your panty leg to cling to. Or it could be the butt cheek size difference. Darned annoying, what ever it is!

[jane]

Definitely stay with them, they will get scared and noone will be in the room with them (Emma was always petrified and wouldn't even let me put her down.) Also, be with him for any procedure unless you think you'll make it worse.

I hope you guys get home soon!

[Heather G]

Yes, yes, yes to the butt cheek thing and really glad someone else has it. I finally figured out it was from lifting a child 50 times a day in what was effectively a one legged squat. Of course I freaked prior to that that it was muscle wasteage etc.
Concentrated on using the other leg and it evened up.

[Anne]

I'd stay overnight and hold them, I just couldn't breat the thougth of them being alone - without Momma there.

And yes I think one butt cheek is bigger than the other but I find it much less irritating to waer a thong, if you get a good one it doesn't feel like you've got a wedgie.

[Carrie]

We're about to have our fifth surgery/hospital stay with our three year-old. Definitely have one of you stay the night, and do your best to stay in the room for procedures. They can't speak for themselves if something is wrong, and nurses who don't know Adam won't be able to tell the difference between his cries of fear and cries because of pain from a screwed-up IV, for instance. Don't hesitate to ask for someone else to hold him down if you can't bear it, though. I have found that if I can sit down near her head and speak quietly into her ear even if she's screaming, it's better than nothing, while someone else holds her.

And try to switch off time. If you stay there and don't sleep well, try to have Marko come in for some time during the day. You can't care for Adam as well if you are exhausted yourself.

I hope he gets over this quickly, and the rest of the stay is relatively trauma-free.

[Amy]

I stayed all night with my baby/child. I also stayed in for all the "bad stuff". The night thing I feel strongly about, the "bad stuff" I'd say depends on the parent.

[jen]

Stay stay. Please stay. Especially as Adam's more than old enough to know when you're not there. And if you can bear it, stay for the procedures.

Why? My 2 cents..

My son stopped breathing at 8 weeks (a potential SIDS/Cot death - very luckily caught by pure intuition), I stayed with him for the 3 days in the hospital. I didn't get a wink of sleep and it affected my milk supply (the paediatrician told me off for getting overtired), but as I was breastfeeding I didn't have a choice but to be the one to stay. I am so glad I did. There were other babies and toddlers on the ward; the nurses were all so busy they were left for ages at a time without so much as a cuddle. That's just awful. Cuddles cure.

I didn't stay for one procedure (nasal suction for a snot sample), but that was because I was so overtired I just couldn't cope with watching another procedure without breaking down - kinda counterproductive when you're crying AND trying to comfort a screaming baby! The only reason I didn't stay was because he was so young, and I got to cuddle him right after (I just couldn't cope with watching). If it happened tomorrow (my son is 20mo) I'd stay regardless as he'd be more aware I wasn't there and more able to remember.

I was in hospital myself on and off from the age of 6 months to about 2 years, thereafter yearly checkups and significant amounts of bloodwork when I was a kid (well, I still do!). My mum stayed about half the time (this wasn't entirely voluntary, it depends on hospital policy, especially back in the olden days), and didn't stay for procedures. It's significantly affected our relationship since, even though I can't remember the actual procedures - I do 'remember' a sense of her not being there for me. That's been a hard thing to process emotionally, despite intellectually knowing the reasons.

So please, please, please stay. Especially at night - it's extremely scary (even as a young teenager) to be alone in a hospital at night. From the sounds of it, Adam's sensory issues will compound the need for a piece of 'normality' and someone to filter all the confusion of the hospital environment. And every little boy needs his mum, if only to kiss it all better afterwards.

Please give him a huge huge huge hug from me and mine! And sending you stay-strong smooches from my little man (ref photo in a prev email!).

[Amy]

Thankfully my only experience of being at the hospital with the boys was when they were in NICU. I was there all the time (except for when they needed to take bloods etc, can't handle that). I'm not sure that I'll be able to handle it actually and if I'm really lucky I never will (wishful thinking I know)

As for the ass cheek thing, I couldn't tell you, my ass is so big these days I can't actually see the whole thing in the mirror at once. Perhaps it is time to go for the wall-to-wall variety of panty?

How is Adam holding up?

Amy

[4katnap]

I spent just over 2 weeks at the hospital with my DD#2 when she was 14 mo old. *Everytime* I left the room for any reason she freaked out and her o2 levels dropped enough to set off the alarms. When I talked to teh RN's they said kids always recovered better adn faster if a parent stayed with them. Kids need their parents. It must really suck since you have 2 that need you. Daddy will just have to deal at home and be glad he's not sitting at the hospital.

Prayers and positive thoughts to you and your sweet boy.

[Orange]

When Benjamin had hernia surgery at 4 months of age, we both stayed overnight with him...and both were exhausted. Our kid did fine, but his roommate, another wee baby, cried ALL NIGHT LONG even though her mother was there. So stay overnight at the hospital, but be prepared to viscerally hate Adam's roommate.

My ass is symmetric(ally lumpy), but I picked up a belly asymmetry with my C-section. I'm guessing it's scar tissue inside, but my undies slide down a bit on the front right. And of course, there's boob asymmetry. I'm nearly a cup size bigger on the left.

[P]

My 2 cents:

I disagree with the comment, "It's no use being there if your little one knows you are miserable as well, right?" A chlid won't know if you're miserable being there, they will just know they're in an unfamiliar place, but at least a parent is there to comfort them.

I work in a hospital, and I can tell you that, even though it's not fair, you will be judged (kind of harshly) for leaving a child to stay alone. It's not fair, because many parents have very legitimate things keeping them from staying...but if Marko can stay home with Kate, I think it would be nice if you stayed at the hospital with Adam. And small children do not associate parents with pain from procedures in hospitals, but they will associate it if you're NOT there for them. Does that make sense? Even if you're the one holding your child down, they will only know and care that you comforted them afterward. As one commenter said, it affected her that her mom wasn't there.

[RainbowW]

hospital overnight: stay. nobody gets any sleep in hospitals, including kids; you shouldn't either.

for smaller procedures like getting an iv inserted or getting a shot, parent stays. for bigger things, like cleaning dead skin off a 3rd degree burn with a wire brush, parent goes. (that's so kid will blame staff for the pain of such a procedure, not parents.)

butt cheek: make marko kiss it or if he won't, make him take a picture and send it to me so i can.

[P]

PS
Yes, my underwear always creeps up my right butt cheek. I am convinced one side is larger than the other, even though you can't tell just by looking at it.

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[Liza]

I always stayed, and went with for the nasties. But that's me. I totally have the butt cheek thing. I'm so sorry about the hospital gig. You'll be fine. Run out for food while they sleep. XOX

[Liza]

I always stayed, and went with for the nasties. But that's me. I totally have the butt cheek thing. I'm so sorry about the hospital gig. You'll be fine. Run out for food while they sleep. XOX

[Rachel H.]

I would stay, though so far I haven't had a kid overnight at hospital. I always stay with them for bad procedures, too.

[Andrea]

My mom and I had the creeping-up underwear conversation the other day. She told me friend of hers used to sell BeautiControl Cosmetics, which offered a product lovingly named Body Glue.

Yes, ladies, that's right! Just GLUE YOUR UNDERWEAR TO YOUR BUTT. Or, for that matter, you can glue your bra strap in place, keep your socks up, etc. It sounds completely ridiculous, but who knows, stranger things have worked.

I'll just keep wearing my boy shorts. They rarely creep up and are nice and comfy.

[miracles]

T-We just did our first trip to the emergency room and needed to admitted to the Pediatric ward. It was such a horrible experience both for me and the baby. I stayed with her overnight every single second. She would not rest anywhere but sleeping on my chest for 36 hours straight. I could not imagine going home and leaving her there alone. As for the IV- I stood right next to her, DH and I holding her down while they put it in. I also hold both babied for routine vaccinations as well. I feel that it is mich easier to calm them quickly if they are in my arms.

[Suzie-Q.]

I'm a stayer. I think especially in Adam's case, I would stay b/c of his sensory stuff...
And, i would be there for as much as possible to hold them down with love and cuddle immediately after.

When Evan was about 8 months old he developed a respiratory thing for a couple of weeks that required one of those machines with steam medicine and a mask over his face every 4 hours round the clock. I was setting my alarm throughout the day and night and he was fighting me like a wild animal b/c he was scared to death of the mask and the noise. I had to cross my arms over his arms across his chest hard with one arm and hold the mask on with my other arm as he lay thrashing in my lap. It killed me to keep torturing and scaring this child, and i cried for the first couple of days every time i did it. But, eventually, he calmed down (about a week) and began to trust me and realized i was doing it out of love (i used to sing to him and rock him through it).
I think Adam knows you are helping, not hurting him, especially since you are only holding and not injecting or anything like that. He will remember the nurses for inflicting the actual pain, not you.

[Cory]

I agree, definitely stay. Shoot, even if the hospital tried telling me (and you, I'd imagine!) that "couldn't", I'd fight them tooth and nail. Like I'd leave my little baby alone! I know you wouldn't either Tertia.
As hard as it is to be one of the baddies, it's best to be there and be part of it too. Unless you're hysterical...but, I think in *most* cases, some kind of instinct kicks in and the mother bear overrides the scared part. We save our crying for later, in the dark calm.
My youngest son, a year old now, just was in the hospital for the same pukey thing. He didn't require an overnight, but just a very lonnng day. We (hubby and I) were two of the 4 holding down our little guy for the IV... it was awful. He actually struggled so hard he passed out from the sheer exhaustion of it. I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it... but like I said, the crying came much later, after he was tucked back into his own crib, and I was sitting in my bed in the dark.

[Judy]

When my younger son was admitted to the hospital at 6 days, I definitely stayed with him. And, I would do it now. I would probably do it until they officially moved out the house, and then it would take a lot of convincing on their part to NOT have me up there (should they be in the hospital when they're adults...speculating here). As for the tests, I didn't stay with him for the spinal or when they had to redo his IV (because he pulled it out 4 times)...and at that point, he wouldn't remember if I had been there or not, and I didn't have to subject myself to newborn screaming while my hormones were raging.

That being said, i would probably stay with either of my boys (7 and 2) through any procedure. They know if I (or my husband) are there or not, and I want them to know that I'm there for them no matter what. However, I like what one poster said above about not being there so they don't associate you with pain - that made total sense, too...so I think it is a preference/situational deal.

As for the wedgie, just shuck the undies altogether. Why even bother with them?

[Jillian]

I vote for stay, just so there is someone familiar in the mass of strange people that are going to be in and out every 2 hours or so. Besides, sleep is overrated! And as far as the ass cheek issue.... I'm not sure I've checked. I've got lopsided boob issues, so I don't think I can handle funky butt cheeks too. I, however, wear thong underwear exclusively and find them much more comfy. It does take a little while for your butt to realize that the piece of fabric belongs in such a place, but after that, you never notice it again... Unless is creeps up in other unwanted places, in which case, you definitely notice. I have found though, the soft cottony ones are much more comfy than the cutesy sparkly shiny ones... and much less frontal wedgie.

[Shelley]

When my daughter stayed at the hospital (which has been twice now), I stayed ...but secretly wished I'd gone home to get a good night's sleep. I guess I'm glad I did in retrospect.

Besides, when she came out of anaesthsia (both times), she was a wild girl. Sometimes the knockout juice has that effect on kids. It took six of us just to hold her down. If I hadn't led the charge to pin her to the hospital bed, she surely would have hit the floor flopping. Surprisingly as good as the post-surgical staff was, they we a wee bit slow when it came to getting her restrained so she didn't hurt herself. She did manage to give me a fat lip. :)

I'm with you on the thread up the ass. Fortunately, my "granny pants" offer equal coverage for both cheeks. :) heh heh

[Heather]

And now I think I will hang myself for even suggesting it was okay to leave. I just know my son would be more upset if he saw me crying - because we tried that when he got one of his rounds of shots and he was upset for DAYS rather than minutes. He would point to his little legs where the Band-Aids were and say, "Mumma hurt," and it broke my heart. I wasn't suggesting you leave your child, especially a young child alone. I agree with all the reasons above - that if something should happen, that your presence is comforting in the mass of strangers, etc. I was saying that if you, as the mom, dad, aunt, grandmother, whatever couldn't handle it, leaving your child with someone else (dad, grandparent, whatever) your child was also comfortable with, for the parts you couldn't handle, couldn't be too bad.

My husband does the shots now. When Mega comes home, he's fine. Stiff just like anyone else, but he doesn't cry for days and doesn't seem to care about the "boo-boo's" on his arms or legs. I wasn't suggesting you shove them into the arms of someone you never met and then run away! :-)

Any improvements for Adam?

[Amy]

Poor dear. Hope he is on the mend very soon.

I would stay with him. And why pray tell are we discussing your ass?!

[kristylynne]

Definitely stay overnight. Not only will Adam be terrified if he wakes up and finds himself alone in a strange and frightening place, it's probably best for you to know exactly what treatment he's receiving, at what time, and by whom. Not to freak you out, but hospitals can and do make mistakes, and you (or Marko, or a grandparent, or SOMEONE) need to be there to be an advocate for your son. And also to learn as much as you can about the treatment he's receiving and will need upon his return home.

I'm also in the same camp as those that say that you should be there for the bad procedures, even if all you can do is be visible or hold his hand. I remember being hospitalized as a child (about 2 years old) after my brother nearly cut my thumb off by slamming it in a door, and I recall kicking and screaming on a table while no fewer than five strangers in white coats and masks held me down to force an I.V. in. My parents were nowhere in sight, and it was a moment of pure and absolute terror that has been burned into my memory forever. I'll never forget it.

So yes, you did the right thing by staying with Adam and helping to hold him still.
Hope you are both able to get some rest!

[nicknmegsmom]

I stay 24/7. Eat, sleep, shower at the hospital. I also stay and help during the nasties. Of course, I'm a former emergency nurse-turned-manager, so I'm used to it all. But leave my baby? No way. When my 13 month old was hospitalized this January (for gastro as well) I ended up sleeping IN the crib with her. She has co-slept with us at home her entire little life and still nursed at night...so the hospital crib was NOT going over too well as you can imagine!

[Janna]

I was in the hospital at age 19 and was wishing my mom had stayed! I had to get my appendix out. Surgery was at 6pm, and the anesthesia wore off sometime in the middle of the night. There were no lights on in my room, and outside was a pitch black night. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face it was so dark! I had to reach down to my belly to feel the bandages, assuming I had the surgery but not knowing for *sure* what had happened. And they put these weird things on my legs that periodically inflated and deflated. It was SO surreal - like waking up on an alien spaceship, I swear - and if someone had told me that's where I was, I would have believed them 100%.

So, yes - stay!

[angel]

luckily for me it was never something i had to worry about- damien's hospital visits were quick... in-stitches-home or in-stomach pump-home or in-xrays-home. he was never sick enough for an overnight stay.

[LauraN]

Tertia,
my son was first hospitalized when he was 18 months for asthma, and then later when he was 2.25 years old. The second time he was in the hospital for 4 nights. I was there with him 24 hours, and was with him anytime he needed some procedure. I was in the hospital to get my adenoids out as a child and I remember everything, including the shocking procedure where they held me down and proceeded to pull my adenoids out without any sort of anesthesia. My mom wasn't there and didn't stay at night. I was shocked to recently learn that I was only 4 at the time. I remember everything so vividly. My son got stiches on his chin when he was 2 1/2 and it was horrible for me to listen to his crying. They had to put him in a restraining apparatus to immobilize his arms. He was scared shitless but I stayed. I hope my presence somehow reassured him that he was going to be ok.

Good luck, hospitals are not fun.

Laura

[Stephanie in Puerto Rico]

My daughter was in the hospital for a week last December. At first it was awful because she was so sick. Then it was awful because she was feeling better but by then she wanted to run around (with an IV in her arm). Not so much fun to keep a restless toddler confined in one room all day.

Anyway, I'm genuinely curious...I see most people said they would stay and I, or my husband, stayed with her the entire time. I don't think very highly of the hospitals here for many reasons, but Ellie could have been seriously hurt if I had left her. The nurses only came in every 3-4 hours to take her temp, give her medicine, etc. If I had not been there, she would have been confined to a crib, alone the rest of the time. So, obviously, I stayed.

Thankfully, we've never been in a hospital any other time. Is it different elsewhere?

[Emma]

My daughter was born with leukemia, she was in hospital for about nine months. I stayed with her for most of that given I was nursing (or pumping when she couldn't) but her father stayed some nights when I was sick or needed a rest. We slept (my babe and I) in a recliner so we could be together , there was not enough room for her crib and a cot. I think if she had been a toddler I could have slept with her in a patients bed.
I would have to say that up until a much older age kids need their parents with them. Nurses, no matter how great (and we had great ones) cannot be one-to-one and therefore can't truly take your place. THe nights I did sleep away I think I slept worse because I was away from her.

[Wyliekat]

I take the coward's way out and let the hubby hold the babe when she's getting needles. I can't bear to hold her down. Eventually, I have to get over that.

[Susan]

I do have one butt cheek is bigger than another - it's been confirmed by my tailor. My massage therapist explained it: my spine is curved, therefore placing stress on the right side of my body. Those muscles on the right side are working so hard that they become constricted, from my neck right down to my butt cheeks. This causes one hip (and therefore, one butt cheek) to be bigger - and higher - than the other. Not sure what your story is, but that is mine.

P.S. Yes, stay with your children. Both you and them will have peace of mind. {{{HUGS}}}

[At Home Mom]

My son has gone through 3 major surgeries in his short (16 months) life. The first one, I wasn´t there for because he was in a public workers´ hospital and I was in a public general hospital due to complications during the birth. For the next two, although it was awful to see him screaming as he came out of the anesthetic and fought his IV, I wouldn´t have missed it for the world. He needed me more in those moments than at any other point in his life. Even if all I could do was rock him as he cried and waited for the pain meds to kick in, it´s my duty as his mom and I would have felt horribly guilty leaving him there to fend for himself!