A lot like really disappointing sex

I’ve told you before how much I love Woolworths (nothing like the Woolworths you might know in your country – here it is a high quality, fairly pricey food and clothing store that sells really good quality stuff)). Woolworths is my life saver. My family would not eat if it was for Woolworths. I only recently learnt that butternut comes in a funny beigey-coloured big nut-like shaped hard thingy. I thought butternut came nicely washed, peeled and chopped into appropriate sized blocks. Woolworth’s foods are really divine. Expensive, but worth it. Shopping at Woolworths is my reward for working. If I didn’t work, I wouldn’t be able to afford to shop there.

 Their clothes are also really good quality. Not exactly haute couture, but good quality, sensible stuff. A good place to buy sensible underwear and hard working children’s clothes. Or visa versa. I am at the age where sensible is more important than sexy when it comes to underwear. Actually, I lie, I’ve always preferred sensible to sexy. I just can’t do lace up my bum.

 Anyway, I love Woolworths. And I also love sales. I simply can not resist a special, even if I don’t need it or it isn’t even that cheap. Doesn’t matter. It’s on special! Buy two of them! My cupboards are full of sale items I never seem to use.

 So, knowing how much I love Woolworths, and how much I love sales, you can imagine how excited I get when Woollies has one of its twice-annual massive sales. I save up for months before; I can hardly sleep the nights leading up to the sale. I am usually outside the door at 07:25am, elbows cocked at just the right angle to shove the enemy fellow shoppers out of the way as I do the 100 yard dash to the kiddies clothing dept (I buy clothes for kids for the next year on the sale. V sensible. Am Budget Barbie! Model wife!)

 Even sister Mel loves Woollies sales. We usually strategize before the sale and stay in radio contact during the sale, giving regular updates during the Big Shop. Two days ago sister Mel told me that she had Very Exciting News! Special Woollies customers would be invited to a Pre-Sale evening from 6-9pm where we could buy before the masses! Special customers! That’s us!

 I had the whole evening planned. Rose would stay a little late and Marko would come home a little early. I would feed the kids at 17:32, leave at 17:45, pick my mom up at 17:50 and arrive at the store at 17:58. Which means that taking into account eventualities around parking and / or foot traffic, I would be in the store by 18:00 sharp.

 I should have known the evening would not turn out well when the kids refused to eat their Tagliatelle Bolognaise. Apparently when they said they only ate Spaghetti Bolognaise, they meant SPAGHETTI! Not just any other pasta I happened to have as a leftover. So 17:35 saw me running around making toast, cutting up pieces of cheese and wiping off blobs of yoghurt off the floor and my T shirt.  (Wore the T shirt anyway, no time to chance!)

 I arrived at the store at 18:10 to find that apparently Woollies think everyone is special. Not just me. There were millions of shoppers there already. The entire mood was ruined. My heart just wasn’t into it anymore. I felt lied to, cheated really.

 The queues were horrendous, the stuff on sale not that great and at 7:30 I had to phone Marko and ask him to put the kids to bed as I was STILL standing in the queue. I got home at 8pm, tired, disillusioned and unsatisfied.

 I called sister Mel and told her it felt like really bad sex with a lover who showed so much promise. She felt the same. Marko wanted to know why I still managed to spend so much money if it was so horrible. I told him that just because I didn’t enjoy it doesn’t mean I couldn’t perform.

 Sister Mel said she just can’t believe that the sex wont getter better. She is going back to another store today. She is going to try again. She’s such an optimist.

 I am not going back again, not to this sale. I’m writing this sale off. My heart is just not in it anymore. Life is too short for bad sex sales. 

Comments

[Judy]

Yeah, a bad sale will kill any buzz you might have had.

Better luck next go around, right?

[Laura(southernxy)]

I've had that experience too, with the wonderful sale that wasn't.

Slap me now, because I'm going to offer some assvice. You shouldn't kill yourself finding exactly the food your kids want. If they're hungry they'll eat what you give them. If they skip a meal here and there they won't starve, believe me. I've seen the ever-tightening spiral of the parent trying to give the kid what he will eat, and it ain't pretty.

[Em]

I know you said that it isn't the same as Woolworths in the US but you can buy clothes and food at the same place? I guess there are a few places you can do that here but not produce, just cans and boxes of things, maybe a small refrigerator with milk. Certainly not upscale places (not that I would know upscale.) Interesting. I have to get to So. Africa one of these days.

Sorry to hear about your disappointing trip. Trying to find a silver lining... good practice? Exercise for your credit card? Some quiet time out of the house with your mom and sister? Better luck next time!

[nobaddays]

Oh Tertia, I sympathize! LOVE and miss Woolies so much. When we were visiting in January '06, I managed to get a gorgeous batik wrap-around skirt and a beautifully fitting long denim skirt off the sale racks at W. Also bought a crisp white, 100% cotton work shirt with a very subtle pin stripe woven into it. That wasn't on the sale rack but it was worth what I paid and I figured, hey, how often am I in Woolies?! I get so many compliments on the batik skirt and white shirt. Sounds stupid but I swear I can't find a store in North America that sells clothes that fit me like Woolies clothes do! I think the love affair started with the cute little Woolies panty-and-pajama sets I got for Christmas as a little girl :-)

[spit]

There used to be a store here, Foley's, that had shoe sales in March & October. All the shoes in Texas got sent to MY store for a major clearance 80% off designer and brand name shoes sale. I LIVED for those sales.
The store got moved to a new mall and they quit having those sales. My life has never been the same.

[Vicki]

Here in the UK Woolies sounds a lot like Marks and Spencer. Certainly not like our Woolies, which I always find disappointing. M & S do great clothes, especially knickers and pyjamas. The sale isn't that good , but you can get the basics there for a good price (i.e.cheap).
We have a shop here called Next, which has an amazing Sale culture. The shop shuts the day before the sal and then opens on Sale day at 6am. You can't try anything on and it is madness, elbows everywhere. I should really go there to buy ahead for my daughter, but I find eBay so much more relaxing! My daughter is 19 months old now and I have bought all of her clothes in bundles from eBay. I have clothes up to age 3 and I recon in total it has cost me £350 for everything. I obviously buy new vests and pyjamas, shoes and the odd special occasion outfit new, but I save so much on eBay.
I am obviously not a real woman as I HATE shopping. Good luck for the next sale, only 6 months to go!

[exdurbsgirl]

I really miss Woolies, Marks and Spencer’s is not quite the same. I especially miss the Woolies Cafe their toasted sandwiches are just divine! England is totally hopeless at making a divine toasted sandwich or toasty, Starbucks pannins are about as close as you can get, and they are a pitiful compromise. Sorry the Woolies sale was disappointing; I remember Woolies sales were always manic! Like one giant rugby scrum. Enjoy that yummy Woolies food; we only live on Marks & Spencer and Waitrose (a bit posh UK supermarket). A bit pricey but worth it. You got my vote for SA Blog awards 07, good luck.