What is it about anonymity that brings out
the worst in people? I don’t get it.
I know that I am perhaps too honest sometimes, too public, too open and so I am probably not the best person to understand
this, but I really do not get why people think they can be rude / hateful /
spiteful / nasty / mean / just plain ugly if they think they can get away with
it. What I want to know is, don’t they
feel just a little bit bad? Do they have
a conscience? When they go to sleep at
night, do they feel at least a smattering of guilt for what they have done to
others? How does being anonymous change
who you really are? If you believe so
strongly in your opinion / belief, then say it openly. Stand up and have the strength of your
convictions. Be proud of who you are and
what you have to say. The fact that you
are hiding behind anonymity makes me think that either you are a coward, or
deep down, you doubt what you have to say.
There is an online support forum that I
sometimes read. An infertility support
forum. I don’t participate too often for obvious reasons, but I read, just in
case there is someone I can reach out to and help / offer encouragement
etc. This forum is set up in a way that
allows people to post anonymously, with pretty much a guarantee that their
identity will not be known. And people
use this in the most spiteful of ways. They post their regular posts under their 'known name' or pseudonym and
when they get pissed at someone or something, they post anonymously. They attack other people, say horrible
things, be really mean… all because they can get away with it.
I honesty don’t get it. I find it extremely cowardly and
deceitful. It smacks of bullying. Of meanness. And it brings out the worst kind of pack mentality among others. It is so ugly. I would hate to ever be that
Of course there are many occasions when
being anonymous is absolutely acceptable and even preferable. There are times when knowing one’s real
identity could be dangerous / embarrassing etc. Although I am very open and public, I do understand that many others choose not to be so open. That’s
fine. My issue is with the people who
spew hatred and ugliness towards others only because they can get away with
it. My feeling is that if you feel that
strongly about something, stand up and say it openly. Be proud of what you believe in. The hate comments, the slander and hate
sites, the vicious attacks, belittling other people …… is that how you think it
should be done?
I wonder…. do these people have a
conscience? Do you think they feel even
slightly guilty about the distress they cause others? I can’t believe that they don’t. I know I am
naïve, but I just find it impossible to believe that anyone could be so hateful to others and not feel at
least a bit bad. But ok, I know I am
But then, if they don’t feel bad, let me
ask this question: if it was done to
them, would they feel hurt or upset? And
if they still feel their behaviour is justifiable, let me ask another
question: if someone had to do what you
did to your daughter or son, how would you feel about it then?
I was disappointed to see how on the forum
I mentioned, a group of regular posters hid behind anonymity to attack a fellow
regular poster. How the pack mentality
came out when they realized they could get away with it. That’s not on. Really not on. This ugly veiled cloak of anonymity has facilitated
a free-for-all vicious attack from people who don’t have the guts to stand and
openly say what they really think. What
a pity. And to think that it is supposed
to be a support forum.
Are you proud of yourself for making that
woman feel shit about herself? Are you? Was
it necessary to attack her in such a personal way? Even if you believe she is an asshole / wrong
/ whatever, do you really think you did the right thing? I don’t know. I don’t think being anonymous excuses you from basic human decency. I think you should be ashamed of yourself
actually. I think you acted like a bunch
of bullies who found a victim you could all kick while she was down.
I see it all the time. Find a victim, someone who either rubs you up
the wrong way, or does something that doesn’t fit into your definition of
acceptable. Maybe even someone who you are
a little jealous of, although you would never admit it, and publicly rip her to
shreds while hiding behind your anonymity. Then sit back and watch while your
fellow mean spirited cowards join in the feeding frenzy. Like a pack of hyenas picking at the bones of
the befallen pray, cackling your evil laugh and congratulating yourself at yet
another conquest. A hollow victory meant
to inflate your own sense of self worth. Sad.
I find it very hard to understand. But mostly, I find it really sad that people
like that exist out there.