Working from home, minding my health

Ssshh, I am hiding in the study as we speak!

 Working from home (WFH – recently learnt that cool new acronym* from the v cool Millie!) has taken on a whole new meaning since the kids have arrived. The good things are still all there – missing the traffic, getting more work done, being able to concentrate and not be sidetracked by the v distracting cacophony of sounds generated by that wonderful open plan office environment, being able to work sans bra and make up and in my v comfy (read unattractive) outfit. All that good stuff is still applicable, but now I have to be a whole lot more creative about how and where I work.

 If the babes know I am around, it is impossible for me to do a thing. Hell, I normally can’t even pee in peace so the chance of me actually doing any work with them around is impossible. Side note: How on earth do you WAHM’s actually do any work at home?  How do you escape from the sticky clutches of the Child?

 I sometimes go out in the morning and work in a coffee shop until Rose texts me to say I can come back. Then I work while they sleep and leave again as they wake up. Or I hide in the study. I start off as if I am going to work and instead of leaving I dash into my study and close the door. I make sure I have a stash of supplies (i.e. snacks) and some water and I slave away until their nap time. I then have two hours to pee, eat etc. When I hear them wake up, I hide away again. It works quite well, unless I drink too much water and need to pee half way. Or I forget to switch my phone over to ‘meeting’ and someone calls. All my conversations are whispered in case they overhear me.

 I feel a little guilty about hiding away from them, but not too much.  This way works well for everyone. I get to spend more time with them in the early mornings and late afternoons AND I get to do more work.  Win-win. I’m lucky that I have the option to work from home sometimes. I have a good job, I really am lucky.

* Seeing as how I will soon be working for the original TLA (three letter acronym) company, IBM, I better start getting used to them.

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Re the other thing – the not-feeling-so-well thing, I’m doing ok.  Had a brief panicky moment yesterday morning. Started spinning out, called the shrink to try and make an earlier appointment (can’t, he is fully booked until the 12^th) but took a couple of deep breaths and felt ok afterwards.  I am working hard on my coping skills, cutting out the clutter etc. It’s helping.

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  Funny how these things work. This morning as I was getting dressed, I had the TV on in the background and they were interviewing this chap who was speaking about it being Mental Health Month this month.  I felt like it was some kind of message from above.  Through my satellite dish, via my flat screen TV and into my bedroom.  God works in mysterious high tech ways, or so they say.

 The guy said the theme was “Mind your health” and they listed the signs of depression:

 ■ Persistent sad, anxious or “empty” mood – CHECK (all three)
■ Changes in sleep patterns – CHECK, can’t sleep for love or money
■ Reduced appetite and weight loss, or increased appetite and weight gain – CHECK – eating less, yet gaining weight
■ Loss of pleasure and interest in once-enjoyable activities, including (especially) sex – CHECK (italics my own)
■ Restlessness, irritability – DOUBLE CHECK
■ Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as chronic pain or digestive disorders – CHECK, especially the digestive disorders. Am now taking pain pills at night.
■ Difficulty concentrating at work or at school, or difficulty remembering things or making decisions YES YES YES. What was the question again?
■ Fatigue or loss of energy - CHECK
■ Feeling guilty, hopeless or worthless – CHECK x3
■ Thoughts of suicide or death Does wanting to kill my husband count?

 If you experience five or more of these symptoms for two weeks or longer, you could have clinical depression.  You think?

 See a doctor or qualified mental health professional for help, right away. OK!!

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 It’s a sign. I’m sure it’s a sign. From above. From some where. Where ever it is from, I am glad I am doing something about it.

 

Comments

[ann]

tertia, you are all over the joburg newsletter this week, with a great pic of you holding up your book. way to go!
hope working from home went well

[Casey]

Tertia,

I'm glad you're doing something about it too. When I became a mother, I was overwhelmed, yet the last thing I wanted to admit was that I couldn't handle it all (sticky clutches of the child included). Somedays, I still can't...but I'm getting better at faking it! It's all about taking time to take care of yourself. And of course, heeding those messages from the t.v.

[Jeanne]

You are - the dearest, DEAREST thing. And I wish I could give you a hug. Really. You have such a stupendous way of looking at things. I wish I could have a coffee with you and tell you about some of the things that are helping me. Hang in there and the answers WILL come.

[Jeanne]

Mood lifter http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/s/scissor_sisters/i_dont_feel_like_dancin.html

[e]

So you're retraining as a Jane Bond style spy- believe me, the enemy is cunning. Good luck!

[21stCenturyMom]

I've been a WAHM for most of my professional/mothering life. You have to tell the kids that when Mommy's door is closed she is working and they need to stay out. No, it doesn't work but you have to do it, anyhow :-) Then the nanny takes them away, kicking and screaming, closes the door and you go on working. No guilt because you now get to spend time that was formerly devoted to primping and commuting with the kids so poof! - there goes the guilt.

I hope you get to keep your WAH arrangement forever. It's really great.

And glad to hear you are feeling better. You have a big, busy life. It's not a surprise that you feel overwhelmed.

[C.]

Experienced with clinical depression here. Several years ago it was SOOOO bad I didnt even know what to call it. Wasnt getting out of bed, ever, eating anything, not showering, basically not caring about anything.

I have seen a fabulous therapist on and off for about 6 years now. With her and the AD's it is as if I am a different person, my real self. Sure, i have ups and downs, mad stress with work and family, but you are doing the right things and it does get better. If you dont feel as if something (in thera p or the meds) is right for you or making a difference, speak up and a change will be made. It took several meds to find the right one and even still it changes periodically. With the advent of new drugs my doc sometimes changes when i feel my current isnt working as well as it should.

As for the insomnia, I too am an insomniac. The doc gave me a sleeping pill and it si my new best friend. Everything is worse with no sleep (including depression) so dont be afraid to ask for something to sleep on a temporary basis.

Keep plugging away, it gets better, that I promise.

[Elizabeth]

Tertia, have you recently had your thyroid checked? Hypothyroid symptoms mimic depression. "Eating less and gaining weight" was the red flag in your post that made me think of it. Depression may cause you to eat less (and thus probably lose weight) OR eat more (and thus probably gain weight) but if your body is functioning as it should, eating less shouldn't coincide with weight gain. However this DOES occur with hypothyroid.

I urge you to get a blood test - it is VERY common to have thyroid issues in the first year or two postpartum and the treatment is quite simple, safe and effective.

Take good care.

[Judy]

Do you think my job as a pre-k teacher can be done from home? I wish! However, if it meant 12 4 year olds running all over my house, I'll gladly drag my ass out of bed each day not to have them pounding on my door!

Glad you were productive and got to spend a day at home! Hooray!

[Aurelia]

Can I just second the thyroid comment by Elizabeth? Before I saw her comment, I saw your mention of reduced appetite and weight gain and twigged to thyroid. It's a very simple blood test, TSH, T3 & T4, and get it before you try the ADs. (They can interfere with the test result.) Mine is out-of-control hyperthyroid and is finally getting fixed. You maybe surprised how much the symptoms coincide with depression/anxiety.

[millie]

I'm just here to keep you up on all the latest tlas straight from Silicon Valley. The wfh sounds like a great solution. And Big Blue will be damn lucky to have you. One of my bffs works for them here. Mostly from home, sometimes from the gym. Not a bad gig to have.

[Coral]

Idea, get a 'guest toilet' built into your study space, somehow.

[Blue]

Getting the thyroid checked is a good idea!

Also, I have read in several different places that exercise is really helpful when fighting depression. I totally believe this to be true. Do the kids like to go for stroller walks? Strap them in and take them for a spin, or run around with them in the back yard. It is great for working off those anxious worried moments and getting you back to reality for a bit. Get your heartrate up and those endorphins flowing.

[Suzie-Q.]

I just failed miserably at my attempt to be a WFH mom. Only lasted for 2 months. Found that every little noise (good or bad) from my kids downstairs with the Nanny was a HUGE distraction, and, i couldn't get over the hiding from them in my room/office part of it...
Good luck!
P.S. My brain has been scrambled ever since giving birth to the twins (20 months!)... can't remember a god damned thing, can't make a decision, can't care about either!

[thrice]

I love the vagueness of these syndromes. If you're agressive it can take years to see what the driving force is. Having said that it could be a deviated septum. I'm not joking. If you snore and have a blockage you might have Upper Airway Resistance Syndrome (UARS) http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/494651 UARS is linked to all the somatic functional syndromes, i.e. chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia. Undiagnosed, UARS is a downward spiral of depression, insomnia, fatigue, muscle pain, etc. For the past two years, I've been going through mega testing for MS and other neurological diseases. The deviated septum also wrecked havoc with my turbinates and my sinuses. Once my HMO stops playing with me, I should have nasal and sinus surgery in the next couple of weeks. Oh, I almost forgot, UARS has not been defined for a long time, so many doctors don't know what UARS is and/or the devastating affects. You might want to get yourself to an Otolaryngologist aka ENT-sinus, and demand a sleep study. You might need this paper, as well, to make your point. http://www.sono.org.br/publicacoes/2006%20GuilleminaultJ%20Psychiatr%20Res.pdf#search=%22uars%20journal%20of%20psychiatric%20research%22

Then again, somebody as refined as you Tertia, wouldn't be snoring. Atleast, admittedly.

[cheap medications online]

Full time housewives can still be productive if they just stay at home! Just use up their talent in making creative and useful things which can also be profitable.