What is it with you guys and the breasts!

We’ve spoken about the boob thing before, but I need to talk about this again.  Because I really really don’t get this.   (<--Read the article first.  Quickly!  It's important.) How on earth can any one be offended by this?

 It’s a breast! So what!  We all have them!  And you can’t even see any thing. And for goodness sake, it is a baby suckling at the breast.  It is not pornographic or sexual, it is beautiful and natural.

 Then on another blog I read someone remarked that they found it perfectly acceptable because “the nipple wasn’t showing”. What? If the nipple was showing it wouldn’t be acceptable?

 It’s a breast. So what?

 I think I need help here, because I am totally clueless as to how this photo can be offensive. I am not one of those militant breastfeeding proponents, I didn’t breastfeed (I couldn’t – bad mother, bad) but even I think this is beautiful and natural and completely inoffensive.

 But hey, what do I know, I never saw the big deal in the Janet Jackson boob slip (it’s a breast, get over it) and here in South Africa we sunbathe topless as well!  Shock! Horror!  But then again we are poor savages living in a third world continent, we know no better ;-)

 I am particularly interested in hearing from those who found the picture offensive or inappropriate etc, please post anonymously if you wish; I am honestly interested in hearing your perspective.  Really, not being sarcastic.

  

More comment on the debate here.

Just a word of warning: If that kind of thing offends you, you might not want to come to Africa where breasts and breastfeeding are considered natural and beautiful and mothers regularly breastfeed their babies in public. And no one even bats an eyelid. Savages!

 

Comments

[Jenn]

Here in Australia we don't get it either. The Janet Jackson thing was hilarious. Can't wait to see the comments for this one.

[Cris]

I'm an American in the "heartland" (read...Ohio...I know horrid) and I don't give two shits about breasts. After having two beautiful babies (fertility shit to get there, I digress...) my husband and I bought breasts for me. I love them, I'm proud of them and I went topless on our last vacation to St. Marteen. Hmpfh. People that are shocked and horrified by this photo should examine themselves. They may be the perverts...

[Sue]

I tend to think that *most* people are not offended by this, but rather see the beauty in it.

I think that those who are offended tend to be loud in their opinions and erroneously think they are speaking for the majority.

[Hoping]

it is beautiful I have no idea what the problem is.

[Jillian]

Totally not offended by it. A friend of mine from Jersey (British Isles) breastfed both of her children in public, without thinking twice. She simply said that if they didn't like it, they could bugger off. In most other countries, people react totally different than the prude Americans react. Personally, I think that we should all be concerned about our own issues before we worry about others. If you're perfect, then feel free to say something. However, since I'm sure that we all have a skeleton or two, we should mind our own business.

[Summer]

We Americans aren't all prudes! I, personally, have gotten my boobs out in public for fun (college drunken antics), for sun (though not in the prudish US), for profit (nude art model during/after college), and for their intended purpose (my son's nourishment, from birth to 18 months). I nursed my son anywhere he wanted to nurse, without a blanket because I found the blanket thing hot and annoying and an obvious flag to what we were doing. I nursed him on the subway. I nursed him in church. I nursed him in the home improvement store. For 18 months I waited for someone to challenge my right to feed my son naturally, and dammit, no one ever did. I had been looking forward to that confrontation, too.

I have NO problem with this picture, but I suspect that it's skating awfully close to breaking some US laws that are meant to protect children from exploitation, because it's a picture of a child doing something with a part of the body considered to be sexual. There was a case a year or so ago where some immigrant parents were arrested and had their kids taken away from them because the father took a picture of the mother nursing their toddler, as a momento of the end of their nursing relationship. The authorities called it child pornography! It's sad, but I've been too afraid of that kind of response to ever take a picture of my child nursing, or even just nude in the bath.

IMO, the problem isn't prudes so much as people with dirty minds.

[Melani]

I think most of us in America have been raised to consider breasts a sexual body part, not a functional one. I for one wasn't offended by the picture but I have to be honest and say that if the nipple was showing I would have been uncomfortable with it. I don't know why that makes a difference but it does. I breastfed both of my children but am still uncomfortable seeing someone nurse their child and not attempting to be discreet. I guess I am "prudish" about it but don't think I can change how I feel either.

[Robin from TLOL]

I think it's a beautiful picture of a completely natural, normal event. If only MORE mothers would bf in public then maybe, just maybe, more people would simply take it for granted and there would be no question of it's "suitability".

I also have to add that I bf my children anywhere, anytime, in any number of locations and countries and not once did I encounter a negative reaction. Most people didn't even seem to notice.

Of course, in my other life I'm one of the dreaded lactation consultants, so what do I know ;-).

[leslie]

I nursed all three of my children all over the place and never had anyone same anything negative to me. I live in a small town and was president of our Library Board at the time. I nursed two of my kids while running public meetings when they were a week or two old and the only reaction from anyone was the other board members fighting over taking turns walking them when they were fussy. Not all Americans are prudes. That said, it's pretty easy to nurse a small baby very discretely - it's when they get bigger and more active that it's a bit tougher.

[Pink]

I don't have any problem with public breastfeeding or images of it and agree with others who have said that those who are offended are just yelling louder than those who aren't. The one problem that I have with the magazine cover is that the focus is on the boob and not on the mother. I would rather see a shot further out with the mother cradling her baby in her arms, not just a disembodied boob.

And, for the record, I wasn't able to breastfeed either and I also live in the Midwest, also Ohio, but luckily the liberal part of Ohio.

[Kay]

People don't care if there are "ho's" on the cover of Cosmo, but they care if a magazine shows a baby feeding.... OMG! Get a grip.

The Janet Jackson thing was offensive to me - not b/c her boob "accidentally" slipped out (yeah, right), but because the whole show was vulgar, violent, and raunchy. The superbowl is for football; if I wanted to see raunch, I would have rented some pr0n.

I don't get the women who said they wouldn't want their husband or 13 year old son to see that picture? WTF not? A boob in a NON-sexual picture! Hell, I wish that was the only pictures of boobs he looked at.

People are stupid.

[Elizabeth]

Alas- we Americans are victims of our strict puritan founders, who thought everything was sinful and sexual. I am not offended by this photo at all, I think it is beautiful. I admit feeling embarrassed when I breastfed in public, even while I knew I shouldn't feel that way! Americans are prudes, and I wish we weren't. I think it is why we have so many sexual predators, we are too repressed. It is hard, though, because I tend to be prudish about how I dress my daughter, because I don't want a pervert to get any ideas. (For instance, I won't let her wear a bikini. I think she's too little)

[Jul]

I love that pic... I love most pics of babies breastfeeding; it's the sweetest thing to see a kiddo blissing out on the boob. I've always made a point to nurse any and EVERYwhere the kid and I go, just by way of proving that moms should be able to nurse anywhere, and that a mama with a kid doesn't have to be tied down. Now that kiddo is 15 months old, I am feeling SLIGHTLY uncomfortable with public nursing for the first time (the boy is nearly three feet tall and is QUITE a lapful when I'm feeding him), but I'll tell you what... not now or EVER has anyone ever said boo about my public nursing. Actually, while J.Q. was ripping at my shirt in the supermarket a few weeks ago, a woman smiled at us and said, "That's a lucky boy!" Made me feel really good.

[g]

Totally off the topic: Just got my Kalahari newsletter. Congrats, your book is included as one of their top sellers!

Mooi gedoen!

[anonymousey]

I'm from America, training to be a doula so I might not be a typical 'prude-y' American...

I'm actually studying breastfeeding right now and my favorite quote from the book "So THAT'S What They're For!" (Janet Tamaro) is as follows:

Many people have still another problem with breastfeeding. If feeding a baby involved any other part of your anatomy - say fingers or elbows - no one would hesitate. But you have to use your *breasts*. And because everybody in our culture is so much more comfortable seeing breasts used to sell toilet cleaner and cheese puffs, it's hard for them to see what have evolved into favorite sex objects taken out of context.

(End quote)

I think it's bizarre that Americans see breasts as 'dirty' and 'sexual' when they've nourished generations of kids! Humans (before formula) wouldn't have survived if it weren't for someone's TIT. (I love the word tit.) ANYTHING can be dirty and sexual - fingers, toes, old shoes... Believe me about the old shoes thing. So why such a fit over breasts? Ugh.

xoxo
anonymousey

[Polly]

This photo is fine to me--it's a baby eating!!! I CAN see where people would flip out, though--as the article stated, we Americans are very Puritanical. VERY. I'm fine with breastfeeding in public in general (exception: once in church a woman was breastfeeding, and I thought that was too much...not because of religious reasons, but instead because no one snacks in church!! And we have a nice room where nursing can occur, if needed, during that hour). It's totally natural, and many of us were breastfed...what is the big deal?

Just yesterday I spent the afternoon at the pool and a woman was very discreetly breastfeeding her baby there (towel gently placed strategically--very, very discreet) and I didn't think anything about it. If the baby needed to eat, where else was she going to eat?!! (The bathroom?? echhhgkk!!)

There is a difference to me in breastfeeding in public and topless sunbathing. One is definitely more 'potentially sexual' than the other. Breastfeeding is just nourishment for the baby, it's functional, really. I actually LOVE to sunbathe without a top, but I can't do it at the beach here in the US. But it is definitely something that is a little sexier, more sexual, than breastfeeding--in my mind.

You know, I wonder about people who think of this kind of thing is pornographic (as Summer described above--the authorities saying a nursing mom pic is child pornography)...I think she's right that the problem is not so much "prudes" as it is people with dirty minds. My parents took all sorts of silly photos of us nekkid when we were little--in the bath, streaking through the house, just being silly little kids, and no one thought twice about it, because it wasn't considered 'dirty,' it was cute!!

I think the bigger a deal we make of things like nudity in general, the bigger it becomes--whether warranted or not. For me nudity in itself is of no great concern at all; I am opposed to pornography (for reasons of objectification of women)--but those are two different things, yet they are very often seen as one in the same in our culture. Yet they are not!

Anyhow, summer said it best: dirty minds, not prudes, are the REAL problem.

[Heather]

I nursed my daughter in public 5 years ago here in the states and no one bothered me. Then again, I live on the northeast coast and not the bible belt. Not that all people in the bible belt would have an issue with it, but it's probably a higher percentage that would.

[anon]

I completely don't get it either, but I grew up in a family where breasts were for breastfeeding.

I guess I understand where the anti-breast wackos are coming from though, because the breast is SO oversexualized in American culture that it wigs people out to associate a "sexual" body part with a baby snuggled up and sucking. We are not used to seeing breasts and babies together, so this keeps people shocked and uncomfortable when they do see it.

I think the solution is for breastfeeding to be seen MORE often, so the next generation will be used to it.

Tertia, I appreciate you addressing this issue as a mother who cares about babies and other mothers. It doesn't matter that you personally aren't impacted by breastfeeding issues. Mothers need to support each other, and I support mothers who need to bottle-feed for whatever their own personal reason is.

[Emily]

I have to agree that it's the few who are against this who are the loudest.

I nursed my daughter pretty much wherever, whenever! Even sitting at a picnic table across from 2 teenage boys. They had NO IDEA what was going on! It was very funny actually!

[Tine]

Tertia, I fear you won't hear from those you want to hear from most. I'm just another nursing mom chiming in here from Midwestern USA. I have and will feed my babes anywhere they need to be fed, thankyouverymuch. If others have a problem with that, it's THEIR problem, not mine. My stock line when I'm about to latch on my daughter is: "I hope you don't mind me nursing right now...because I'm going to do it anyway!"

[Whitney]

I nursed both my girls for a year apiece......had a few comments the second time around, as I never could cover her with a blanket--too wiggly--and it was pretty obvious. Did it once in a restaurant where I refused to stand in the miniscule bathroom stall, and some woman said to her husband, but loud enough for me to hear, "that's just nasty, boobs at the dinner table." I told her maybe she should order the ribs, maybe they were an acceptable body part at the table ;). At the mall another time, another mother (!!) asked me why couldn't I cover her with a blanket. I asked her if she whips out a blanket and puts it over her head whenever she wants to eat. That was the end of that conversation.

Granted, I do live slam in the middle of a VERY conservative area, and I am a *bit* on the don't-give-a-flip-love-a-good-confrontation side.....but what is the freaking deal, I see 13-year-old girls with their breasts and butts hanging out, and THAT is more acceptable than a nursing mother?? Give me a break.

Thanks for addressing this!! Can't wait to read the other responses.

[Emily]

Whitney's comment about "...boobs at the dinner table" reminded me of something I once read about people thinking you should use the restroom to nurse. Would YOU want to eat in the bathroom?? No Thanks!

[Karen]

As an adoptive mom to be, I researched adoptive breastfeeding. One of the things that shocked me was that some people have some serious negative feelings about that, as in nobody should breastfeed but the birthmom. People said it wasn't "natural"--and formula is??? I am not b-feeding, and don't see myself ever doing it, but if I had the chance I would. No problem with the cover. But my family is European, so I was brought up to think boobs were beautiful, in whatever incarnation--as sexual objects, body parts, baby food, whatever.

[Tessy]

I read something somewhere (I can't find it now) that was very well written and it basically said that your right not to be offended is not greater than my right to breastfeed. If you are offended don't look. Damn! I wish I could find it because I'm really not doing any justice to what I read. I'll have to search some more........

[erica]

I'm a red-blooded (but blue voting) Amurrican, and I am SO NOT offended by this picture! Before I had my tots, I would have been saddened by it, knowing I would probably never breast feed a baby, but now, eh, who cares?

And I come from a really repressed family, where affection was rarely shown, and sex was NOT talked about. My sister called a chicken breast "boob" because she could not bring herself to say "breast." But, I'm still not offended by that, and don't understand those people who think it's disgusting! Please, people, lighten up!

And I actually did object to the Janet breast-baring incident, because I HATE that Justin whatshisname, and thought the whole thing was highly sexual, and that's during the superbowl, a family entertainment thing. It was also suggestive of violence towards women, him ripping her shirt that way, so I don't really object to seeing her boob, per se, but more the stupid ass routine.

Now, can't wait to read the comments and see if people post that they are offended by seeing a breast!