What is it with you guys and the breasts!

We’ve spoken about the boob thing before, but I need to talk about this again.  Because I really really don’t get this.   (<--Read the article first.  Quickly!  It's important.) How on earth can any one be offended by this?

 It’s a breast! So what!  We all have them!  And you can’t even see any thing. And for goodness sake, it is a baby suckling at the breast.  It is not pornographic or sexual, it is beautiful and natural.

 Then on another blog I read someone remarked that they found it perfectly acceptable because “the nipple wasn’t showing”. What? If the nipple was showing it wouldn’t be acceptable?

 It’s a breast. So what?

 I think I need help here, because I am totally clueless as to how this photo can be offensive. I am not one of those militant breastfeeding proponents, I didn’t breastfeed (I couldn’t – bad mother, bad) but even I think this is beautiful and natural and completely inoffensive.

 But hey, what do I know, I never saw the big deal in the Janet Jackson boob slip (it’s a breast, get over it) and here in South Africa we sunbathe topless as well!  Shock! Horror!  But then again we are poor savages living in a third world continent, we know no better ;-)

 I am particularly interested in hearing from those who found the picture offensive or inappropriate etc, please post anonymously if you wish; I am honestly interested in hearing your perspective.  Really, not being sarcastic.

  

More comment on the debate here.

Just a word of warning: If that kind of thing offends you, you might not want to come to Africa where breasts and breastfeeding are considered natural and beautiful and mothers regularly breastfeed their babies in public. And no one even bats an eyelid. Savages!

 

Comments

[Jenn]

Here in Australia we don't get it either. The Janet Jackson thing was hilarious. Can't wait to see the comments for this one.

[Cris]

I'm an American in the "heartland" (read...Ohio...I know horrid) and I don't give two shits about breasts. After having two beautiful babies (fertility shit to get there, I digress...) my husband and I bought breasts for me. I love them, I'm proud of them and I went topless on our last vacation to St. Marteen. Hmpfh. People that are shocked and horrified by this photo should examine themselves. They may be the perverts...

[Sue]

I tend to think that *most* people are not offended by this, but rather see the beauty in it.

I think that those who are offended tend to be loud in their opinions and erroneously think they are speaking for the majority.

[Hoping]

it is beautiful I have no idea what the problem is.

[Jillian]

Totally not offended by it. A friend of mine from Jersey (British Isles) breastfed both of her children in public, without thinking twice. She simply said that if they didn't like it, they could bugger off. In most other countries, people react totally different than the prude Americans react. Personally, I think that we should all be concerned about our own issues before we worry about others. If you're perfect, then feel free to say something. However, since I'm sure that we all have a skeleton or two, we should mind our own business.

[Summer]

We Americans aren't all prudes! I, personally, have gotten my boobs out in public for fun (college drunken antics), for sun (though not in the prudish US), for profit (nude art model during/after college), and for their intended purpose (my son's nourishment, from birth to 18 months). I nursed my son anywhere he wanted to nurse, without a blanket because I found the blanket thing hot and annoying and an obvious flag to what we were doing. I nursed him on the subway. I nursed him in church. I nursed him in the home improvement store. For 18 months I waited for someone to challenge my right to feed my son naturally, and dammit, no one ever did. I had been looking forward to that confrontation, too.

I have NO problem with this picture, but I suspect that it's skating awfully close to breaking some US laws that are meant to protect children from exploitation, because it's a picture of a child doing something with a part of the body considered to be sexual. There was a case a year or so ago where some immigrant parents were arrested and had their kids taken away from them because the father took a picture of the mother nursing their toddler, as a momento of the end of their nursing relationship. The authorities called it child pornography! It's sad, but I've been too afraid of that kind of response to ever take a picture of my child nursing, or even just nude in the bath.

IMO, the problem isn't prudes so much as people with dirty minds.

[Melani]

I think most of us in America have been raised to consider breasts a sexual body part, not a functional one. I for one wasn't offended by the picture but I have to be honest and say that if the nipple was showing I would have been uncomfortable with it. I don't know why that makes a difference but it does. I breastfed both of my children but am still uncomfortable seeing someone nurse their child and not attempting to be discreet. I guess I am "prudish" about it but don't think I can change how I feel either.

[Robin from TLOL]

I think it's a beautiful picture of a completely natural, normal event. If only MORE mothers would bf in public then maybe, just maybe, more people would simply take it for granted and there would be no question of it's "suitability".

I also have to add that I bf my children anywhere, anytime, in any number of locations and countries and not once did I encounter a negative reaction. Most people didn't even seem to notice.

Of course, in my other life I'm one of the dreaded lactation consultants, so what do I know ;-).

[leslie]

I nursed all three of my children all over the place and never had anyone same anything negative to me. I live in a small town and was president of our Library Board at the time. I nursed two of my kids while running public meetings when they were a week or two old and the only reaction from anyone was the other board members fighting over taking turns walking them when they were fussy. Not all Americans are prudes. That said, it's pretty easy to nurse a small baby very discretely - it's when they get bigger and more active that it's a bit tougher.

[Pink]

I don't have any problem with public breastfeeding or images of it and agree with others who have said that those who are offended are just yelling louder than those who aren't. The one problem that I have with the magazine cover is that the focus is on the boob and not on the mother. I would rather see a shot further out with the mother cradling her baby in her arms, not just a disembodied boob.

And, for the record, I wasn't able to breastfeed either and I also live in the Midwest, also Ohio, but luckily the liberal part of Ohio.

[Kay]

People don't care if there are "ho's" on the cover of Cosmo, but they care if a magazine shows a baby feeding.... OMG! Get a grip.

The Janet Jackson thing was offensive to me - not b/c her boob "accidentally" slipped out (yeah, right), but because the whole show was vulgar, violent, and raunchy. The superbowl is for football; if I wanted to see raunch, I would have rented some pr0n.

I don't get the women who said they wouldn't want their husband or 13 year old son to see that picture? WTF not? A boob in a NON-sexual picture! Hell, I wish that was the only pictures of boobs he looked at.

People are stupid.

[Elizabeth]

Alas- we Americans are victims of our strict puritan founders, who thought everything was sinful and sexual. I am not offended by this photo at all, I think it is beautiful. I admit feeling embarrassed when I breastfed in public, even while I knew I shouldn't feel that way! Americans are prudes, and I wish we weren't. I think it is why we have so many sexual predators, we are too repressed. It is hard, though, because I tend to be prudish about how I dress my daughter, because I don't want a pervert to get any ideas. (For instance, I won't let her wear a bikini. I think she's too little)

[Jul]

I love that pic... I love most pics of babies breastfeeding; it's the sweetest thing to see a kiddo blissing out on the boob. I've always made a point to nurse any and EVERYwhere the kid and I go, just by way of proving that moms should be able to nurse anywhere, and that a mama with a kid doesn't have to be tied down. Now that kiddo is 15 months old, I am feeling SLIGHTLY uncomfortable with public nursing for the first time (the boy is nearly three feet tall and is QUITE a lapful when I'm feeding him), but I'll tell you what... not now or EVER has anyone ever said boo about my public nursing. Actually, while J.Q. was ripping at my shirt in the supermarket a few weeks ago, a woman smiled at us and said, "That's a lucky boy!" Made me feel really good.

[g]

Totally off the topic: Just got my Kalahari newsletter. Congrats, your book is included as one of their top sellers!

Mooi gedoen!

[anonymousey]

I'm from America, training to be a doula so I might not be a typical 'prude-y' American...

I'm actually studying breastfeeding right now and my favorite quote from the book "So THAT'S What They're For!" (Janet Tamaro) is as follows:

Many people have still another problem with breastfeeding. If feeding a baby involved any other part of your anatomy - say fingers or elbows - no one would hesitate. But you have to use your *breasts*. And because everybody in our culture is so much more comfortable seeing breasts used to sell toilet cleaner and cheese puffs, it's hard for them to see what have evolved into favorite sex objects taken out of context.

(End quote)

I think it's bizarre that Americans see breasts as 'dirty' and 'sexual' when they've nourished generations of kids! Humans (before formula) wouldn't have survived if it weren't for someone's TIT. (I love the word tit.) ANYTHING can be dirty and sexual - fingers, toes, old shoes... Believe me about the old shoes thing. So why such a fit over breasts? Ugh.

xoxo
anonymousey

[Polly]

This photo is fine to me--it's a baby eating!!! I CAN see where people would flip out, though--as the article stated, we Americans are very Puritanical. VERY. I'm fine with breastfeeding in public in general (exception: once in church a woman was breastfeeding, and I thought that was too much...not because of religious reasons, but instead because no one snacks in church!! And we have a nice room where nursing can occur, if needed, during that hour). It's totally natural, and many of us were breastfed...what is the big deal?

Just yesterday I spent the afternoon at the pool and a woman was very discreetly breastfeeding her baby there (towel gently placed strategically--very, very discreet) and I didn't think anything about it. If the baby needed to eat, where else was she going to eat?!! (The bathroom?? echhhgkk!!)

There is a difference to me in breastfeeding in public and topless sunbathing. One is definitely more 'potentially sexual' than the other. Breastfeeding is just nourishment for the baby, it's functional, really. I actually LOVE to sunbathe without a top, but I can't do it at the beach here in the US. But it is definitely something that is a little sexier, more sexual, than breastfeeding--in my mind.

You know, I wonder about people who think of this kind of thing is pornographic (as Summer described above--the authorities saying a nursing mom pic is child pornography)...I think she's right that the problem is not so much "prudes" as it is people with dirty minds. My parents took all sorts of silly photos of us nekkid when we were little--in the bath, streaking through the house, just being silly little kids, and no one thought twice about it, because it wasn't considered 'dirty,' it was cute!!

I think the bigger a deal we make of things like nudity in general, the bigger it becomes--whether warranted or not. For me nudity in itself is of no great concern at all; I am opposed to pornography (for reasons of objectification of women)--but those are two different things, yet they are very often seen as one in the same in our culture. Yet they are not!

Anyhow, summer said it best: dirty minds, not prudes, are the REAL problem.

[Heather]

I nursed my daughter in public 5 years ago here in the states and no one bothered me. Then again, I live on the northeast coast and not the bible belt. Not that all people in the bible belt would have an issue with it, but it's probably a higher percentage that would.

[anon]

I completely don't get it either, but I grew up in a family where breasts were for breastfeeding.

I guess I understand where the anti-breast wackos are coming from though, because the breast is SO oversexualized in American culture that it wigs people out to associate a "sexual" body part with a baby snuggled up and sucking. We are not used to seeing breasts and babies together, so this keeps people shocked and uncomfortable when they do see it.

I think the solution is for breastfeeding to be seen MORE often, so the next generation will be used to it.

Tertia, I appreciate you addressing this issue as a mother who cares about babies and other mothers. It doesn't matter that you personally aren't impacted by breastfeeding issues. Mothers need to support each other, and I support mothers who need to bottle-feed for whatever their own personal reason is.

[Emily]

I have to agree that it's the few who are against this who are the loudest.

I nursed my daughter pretty much wherever, whenever! Even sitting at a picnic table across from 2 teenage boys. They had NO IDEA what was going on! It was very funny actually!

[Tine]

Tertia, I fear you won't hear from those you want to hear from most. I'm just another nursing mom chiming in here from Midwestern USA. I have and will feed my babes anywhere they need to be fed, thankyouverymuch. If others have a problem with that, it's THEIR problem, not mine. My stock line when I'm about to latch on my daughter is: "I hope you don't mind me nursing right now...because I'm going to do it anyway!"

[Whitney]

I nursed both my girls for a year apiece......had a few comments the second time around, as I never could cover her with a blanket--too wiggly--and it was pretty obvious. Did it once in a restaurant where I refused to stand in the miniscule bathroom stall, and some woman said to her husband, but loud enough for me to hear, "that's just nasty, boobs at the dinner table." I told her maybe she should order the ribs, maybe they were an acceptable body part at the table ;). At the mall another time, another mother (!!) asked me why couldn't I cover her with a blanket. I asked her if she whips out a blanket and puts it over her head whenever she wants to eat. That was the end of that conversation.

Granted, I do live slam in the middle of a VERY conservative area, and I am a *bit* on the don't-give-a-flip-love-a-good-confrontation side.....but what is the freaking deal, I see 13-year-old girls with their breasts and butts hanging out, and THAT is more acceptable than a nursing mother?? Give me a break.

Thanks for addressing this!! Can't wait to read the other responses.

[Emily]

Whitney's comment about "...boobs at the dinner table" reminded me of something I once read about people thinking you should use the restroom to nurse. Would YOU want to eat in the bathroom?? No Thanks!

[Karen]

As an adoptive mom to be, I researched adoptive breastfeeding. One of the things that shocked me was that some people have some serious negative feelings about that, as in nobody should breastfeed but the birthmom. People said it wasn't "natural"--and formula is??? I am not b-feeding, and don't see myself ever doing it, but if I had the chance I would. No problem with the cover. But my family is European, so I was brought up to think boobs were beautiful, in whatever incarnation--as sexual objects, body parts, baby food, whatever.

[Tessy]

I read something somewhere (I can't find it now) that was very well written and it basically said that your right not to be offended is not greater than my right to breastfeed. If you are offended don't look. Damn! I wish I could find it because I'm really not doing any justice to what I read. I'll have to search some more........

[erica]

I'm a red-blooded (but blue voting) Amurrican, and I am SO NOT offended by this picture! Before I had my tots, I would have been saddened by it, knowing I would probably never breast feed a baby, but now, eh, who cares?

And I come from a really repressed family, where affection was rarely shown, and sex was NOT talked about. My sister called a chicken breast "boob" because she could not bring herself to say "breast." But, I'm still not offended by that, and don't understand those people who think it's disgusting! Please, people, lighten up!

And I actually did object to the Janet breast-baring incident, because I HATE that Justin whatshisname, and thought the whole thing was highly sexual, and that's during the superbowl, a family entertainment thing. It was also suggestive of violence towards women, him ripping her shirt that way, so I don't really object to seeing her boob, per se, but more the stupid ass routine.

Now, can't wait to read the comments and see if people post that they are offended by seeing a breast!

[Heather]

I have always found it particularly interesting that there are HUGE dollars devoted to campaigns to get people to breastfeed, yet NO ONE wants to see it!! It is like they are saying you are a bad mother if you don't breastfeed, but you are a bad person if you do it in public.

[carmen]

Totally don't see what all the fuss is about. I live in Europe and the J. Jackson thing was seen as hilarious but more so the reactions in the U.S to it. LOL. That was the really incredible part.
We have nude beaches, sunbathe topless/nude and it's not seen as a sexual thing at all. Breasfeeding is a natural thing, nobody bats an eye.

[giddy]

Love the photo. Nursed my 2 in public places all over 2 different Bible Belt states with nary a problem. I viewed nursing in public as a civic duty, to help prudish Americans just GET OVER IT. (As well as nursing in front of particular men that I knew were squeamish about it, saying the things to the men to get them to GET OVER IT so that when their wives had kids their wives wouldn't have to do all the work of getting them over it.)

My only question is, where are the stretch marks on that breast? And where's the areola? I think the uproar would have been 10 times greater if those kinds of details were visible---and the picture that much less beautiful--but like the images in "Shape of a Mother," the picture would have been that much more REALISTIC!

[Anonymous B]

Hello! I thought I would chime in on this issue from the other side. To say upfront: I am a married woman and we don't have children yet.

I personally, however, find breastfeeding in public to be offensive when not done discreetly.

Clearly breastfeeding is providing nourishment to your child. Who could argue or protest against that??! The issue that seems to cause heated discussion, I believe, centers around the mother exposing her breast in order to breastfeed her child. What you do in private is your own business. What you do in public can potentially become everyone's business.

Do I sit around my girlfriends (in private, at home) while they breastfeed their babes without batting an eyelash? Absolutely. Do I want to see a woman I don't know breastfeeding? Not particularly. Do I find breastfeeding publicly with men and teenagers, etc. around personally acceptable. No, I don't.

I agree with the woman who stated that men are very visual and a boob is a boob to a man. Most men aren't going to go "Oh how nice, a woman nourishing her child" when they see a woman breastfeeding. They are going to see a woman exposing herself. I think it's a matter of respect. I don't particularly want to see other women's breasts. Yes, we all have them - and I have my fair share - I just don't want to be forced to see someone else. Now, you can say I (and everyone else) can just look away. First of all, believe me I do just that. But, that doesn't negate the fact that I have been forced to see this in order to know I should look away!

With that said, I also realize issues with breastfeeding and I think sometimes it would necessitate being done in public. I would never relegate a mother (or myself) to a dirty bathroom stall. Please! Simply be discreet, turn away from people, cover yourself adequately, etc.

I guess my bottom line is this: I don't have a problem with breastfeeding in public as long as you are discreet about it and don't clearly expose yourself in front of everyone. Even in the busiest areas there are more discreet locations. Because if you aren’t discreet in public, you are making the choice for everyone else to see your breasts – and that isn’t always a good thing – even if breastfeeding is good for your baby.

[ann]

Tertia,

I see that you are in the Kalahari Newsletter today as the second product! well done, hope you sell loads.

[mikey]

I'm outraged. The other day I saw a picture of a gun on the cover of Guns and Ammo magazine. Next to that there was an issue of High Times and they had a picture of illegal drugs! What's next? Scantilly clad women on the cover of Playboy?

Honestly, I fail to understand the so-called "outrage". You see more boobage on an Academy Awards.

[Emmie (Better Make It A Double)]

I'm surpised no one's mentioned that Kateri has rounded up a bunch of breastfeeding mom bloggers to post their own "indiscreet" nursing pictures. For shame!;-) I'm on there tandem nursing my twins. It's here: http://wetfeet.typepad.com/wet_feet/2006/07/boobie_talk.html

[Emmie (Better Make It A Double)]

I'm surpised no one's mentioned that Kateri has rounded up a bunch of breastfeeding mom bloggers to post their own "indiscreet" nursing pictures. For shame! I'm on there tandem nursing my twins. It's here:http://wetfeet.typepad.com/wet_feet/2006/07/boobie_talk.html

[Mia C.]

Ohhhh, it all has to do with us being founded by the Puritans. Dumb, I know.

[Scout]

I don't get it at all either and I am think I am a pretty middle of the road person as far as straddling the line between totally granola, organic, Birkenstock and the children should be seen and not heard types.

I see how people could be uncomfortable because of their own modesty issues, but when I hear words like "gross" or "disgusting" I am flabbergasted.

[DD]

Babyfruit posted about this same thing. I'll share my comment with you as well:

If the baby's face had been superimposed with George Clooney's, no one would have said a damn thing while they were scooping up issues a dozen at a time.

(Some of your readers are so lucky to get to read that twice)

[Jacqueline]

Well Anonymous B, your position may well change when you have to breastfeed your own. 'Discreet' is open to opinion. One woman's discretion is another woman's half nipple, as it were.

I have breastfed in Canada and Australia. Australia was a far more accomodating place [wonderful family rooms in shopping centres etc.] but I received hardly a glance in either place.

Anyone who would dare suggest this is not a natural state of affairs nor should go on in public can stick it up their jumper.

[victoria]

Ah, Tertia, Tertia, Tertia. You need to come spend some time in the good old puritanical U.S. where you can be fired for having a glass of wine at lunch on a workday (I saw it happen) or thrown out of a store for breastfeeding your baby while shopping (true story).

I guess I'm pretty puritanical myself, though, being so horrified as I was by your last post about adultery.

[Kat]

Sorry I can't help, I don't find it any bit offensive or unappropriate either. But I am delurking to share this link to great comment coming FROM MAN:
http://kate2kids.blogspot.com/2006/08/why-i-love-my-husband_115483615665008645.html

[abogada]

Not offended at all. I thought it was beautiful. I am a breastfeeding mom, and I have a toddler (she'll be two this month).

[heather]

i havn't read all the comments, but i think i'm in the minority here. i agree that it is a beautiful thing to bf and that the picture itself isn't entirely offensive to me, but there are people out there (read men) that would make it into a dirty thing. dh and i were at disneyland a few months back and there was a woman in line with her dh and 3 kids, and she was bf her (maybe 10m old) while we were in line for a ride. i thought that was inappropriate. but it's not really my business how other mothers are going to take care of their children, so i just didn't look at her anymore. i havn't had the chance to bf yet (currently 12wks after if and ivf/fet), but when i do, i know i'll be very discreet and never out in the open with it, bc that's how I want to bf.

[Beth in Michigan]

I guess we should start a letter writing campaign in support of that magazine just to counter act the prudes! It's interesting to me, maybe I just carried a big attitude but I nursed both my sons in public (in the midwest, people!) and no one ever dared to say anything negative to me. I certainly had no time to worry about any perverts who I might have flashed inadvertently. Whatever!?

The problem I see with these prudes is that they lack perspective. They have blinders on so they can only see things through their extremely narrow world viewpoint.

[Anne]

Couple of comments. In response to Heather's comment about why there is the disparity between urging women to breastfeed but horror about them doing it in public--I think it's because those who hold both opinions hold the unifying, underlying opinion that women (mothers especially) should be at home and not out in public. Yuck.

Second. For many years, many people expressed "disgust" at having to view a biracial couple together, or a homosexual couple holding hands, etc., etc. And, I'm sure there are still some people who hold these opinions today. But for most of us, we have come to realize that it is all in what you are used to seeing. In the U.S., we are not used to seeing breasts except as sexual objects, but that does not mean that we can't change how we view them, with time and more exposure to nursing women.

For those of you who don't want to "have to look at" a nursing mother's breasts, think of it this way--would you ask a person who has been horribly burned on their face and arms to "cover up" in a restaurant so their skin doesn't turn your stomach?

[Rosie]

Am not offended by the picture. Have seen much more offensive on cover of Cosmo. Have seen much more offensive display of breast on neighbor girl on her way to school.

I am not a lactivist, but I did nurse all 3 of my babies in public. With the first I was all about the blanket and the discretion for about a month, and then I just got over myself. I did however practice nursing her in front of the mirror so I didn't flash any more than I needed to. That however was for my own comfort level, NOT for the unsuspecting man, woman, or child who might MY GOD see a nipple.

But, it's not only Americans who are conservative. I'll bet in almost every developed country you're going to find people who would "rather not see that."

[L.]

I`m not one of the American prudes, but..... my parents are. It is highly unlikely they saw the magazine cover, but allow me to describe their typical reaction:

"Look at that! Is there any reason to show that??? They shouldn`t show that!"

They would have seen it as gratuitous nudity -- not shameful per se, just unnecessary. They would have shaken their heads.

When I breastfed in their house, I always covered myself.

[margaret]

Personally, I think anybody who has issues with nursing in public, or nursing in general just plain has issues. It's a given in my mind that when you have a baby, that child will be breastfed, unless extenuating circumstances exist. Now I cannot see nursing multiples effectively without losing my mind. But, ladies, moms...you have to give it a try before you formulate a judgement. And I'm not talking about a week or so. I was told before I had my 1st child to make a commitment to breastfeed a certain length of time, and to do this prior to the birth. I said 3-4 months. The first couple weeks were rough. I was sore. I had a severe mastitis. But I visited the local lactation consultant and we were soon off and running. I went back to work at 10 weeks, and continued to nurse exclusively until he was 10 months old. Much to my sadness, he weaned himself and I was forced to introduce formula. The nursing in public was a little abnormal at first. I'm naturally a tad self-conscious, but rarely did I get any funny looks. My second child very happily nursed over 11 months. Again there are issues in the beginning, but not insurmountable if you want to make it work. I had high flow problems - ie, he'd unlatch and the milk would spray his entire face. Needless to say, we did not nurse in public until we'd passed that hurdle, but in the big scheme of things it's no worse than having your kid pee his pants in public. So, public or not, unleash the breast and feed that kid. God gave them to you for a reason. Use them!

[Rachel Ennis]

Hi Tertia,
I am boob lover, oh yes, it's true! I was able to nurse my lovely little one for 10 precious months and I did so proudly, in public, in private, and more than once in Pac Bell Park (baseball stadium) with over 45,000 people in attendance. Sadly, most of the people who gave me dirty looks were women, and most of the men who looked my way gave me encouraging smiles of support. If we could only look past the sexual nature of the breast to see the natural necessity, none of this would be an issue.
PS: My daughter is 2 and a half now; can someone please tell my boobs to stop lactating? They didn't get the memo...
I love your blog and your twins make me smile!
Be well.

[scott]

There are sexual breasts, and there are nurturing breasts. Then there are regular breasts. I guess some people could find breastfeeding sexual, in the same way people get turned on by high heeled boots, or chocolate mousse, or pointy sunglasses, but ultimately, you can't look at someone else, and claim that they are perverted, when the sexual response is inside your own head. People can be so dof sometimes. Dof, dof dof.

[GW]

I think this picture is beautiful. I don't have a clue why anyone would find it offensive, but, I didn't get the whole Janet Jackson thing either. (But, then, I have sunbathed topless with the savages in the South of France, so, I guess that makes me practically a savage myself.)

Gretchen in Ohio

[Orange]

I grew up in an extended family of breastfeeders, so family parties often included some baby cousin (or, more recently, grown cousin's baby) being breastfed. It's always been so ordinary. I saw an areola at a restaurant this summer (teeny little newborn out for a nice dinner!), and I thought it was great that the mother wasn't hiding in the bathroom or under a hot blanket.

I appreciated Anne's comment a few notches upthread, saying that some people flip out at the sight of same-sex or different-race couples.

And Emmie's comment further up—follow the URL in her comment to see a post with links to non-airbrushed nursing photos.

My cousin and his wife are having their first baby in a few weeks. I tipped them off to mommy drive-bys and let them know that cosleep vs. crib, breast publicly vs. privately vs. formula, cloth vs. disposable, baby hat vs. no hat on a nice day, circumcision vs. intact—pretty much every dichotomous choice will be deemed wrong by half the people who ought to mind their own business. (Both of these new parents have moms who delivered several of of their babies at home! They hope to continue the family tradition.)

[Orange]

(I meant to add that Anne's right—people who flip out at public breastfeeding or the other things they see will just need to get over it, because the course of history is not on their side.)

[ChelC]

In America, you can go to a mall and see a 13 year old girl walking around showing nearly, if not equally, as much boob as that photo, and no one gives a second glance, except for maybe the horny teenaged boys. But release a picture of a baby breastfeeding and all hell breaks loose. People, it's a BABY. It's a BREAST. Breasts were made for babies. Get over it.

[Andrea]

I think that rather than asking a bunch of blog-reading American mothers whether or not they found this offensive, which I presume will result in a resounding "NO!" from nearly all of us, you should ask American men whether or not they found this sexual.

Would a South American man, Marko for instance, find that picture sexual?

My guess is that most American men would. And I'm sure some of you will say your husband finds no one sexual but you - hooray for you - but most American men I know would find a box of diapers sexual if it had a nekkid lady's boob on it.

Therin lies the problem, I think. I breastfed and would not be afraid to show my breast in public except for the fear that some stranger was getting a woody watching me nurse my son. That would be so CREEPY.

[Kay]

I showed the picture to my husband. He didn't get a woody. Jeebis, people, let's give our men some credit.

Do men go sporting woodies at art museums? When they see the Venus de Milo? Or other nude Greek/Roman art?

Have we ever thought about the fact that covering up the boob so much is what makes them more "naughty" if you can catch a glimpse of one?

And no, I'm not stupid enough to believe that my husband never gets turned on by another woman. But, it's not because she's feeding a child.

[Tertia]

See, that’s the thing – I honestly, truly (naively?) believe that most normal men would not find the sight of a breastfeeding breast sexual. But I absolutely admit that I am speaking of behalf of others and so can’t say for sure. I’ll ask Marko tomorrow, he has gone to bed now. Wait, I hear him brushing his teeth, let me ask him quickly…

Ok, asked him. His first reaction – “what is that?” It’s a breast, you asshole, the mother is breastfeeding the child. “So what?” says he.

Me - “well, are you offended?”

Him – “how many glasses of wine have you had?”

Me – “just answer the question!! People have said that the image is offensive”

Him – “no, don’t be ridiculous”

Me – “does it turn you on”

Him – “you’ve had more than one glass haven’t you?”

Me - “ANSWER THE QUESTION

Him – “gross! It is a mother breastfeeding her child, how on earth could any one be turned on by that”

Me – “but it’s a B R E A S T!”

Him – “so what? She is breastfeeding her child?”

Me – “ok, I’m done. You can go. Bye”

I honestly don’t see how any normal man would be turned on, even in the slightest, by a breastfeeding breast. Really I don’t. It is so totally devoid of any thing sexual. But perhaps I am naïve.

Most of the time I agree with almost all of you, but this time….. I really do not get how any one can make any sexual connection to a breastfeeding breast. It actually freaks me out a little. Maybe I am missing something?

[Chickenpig]

The only problem I have with this cover is that the breast looks so darn perky and photogenic. Mine don't look nearly that nice after 8 months of breastfeeding.

I have never nursed in public, but it is because my twins are so easily distracted from eating, not from any prudishness on my part. I can't even feed them while watching TV anymore.

When I was first learning how to breastfeed them in the hospital, it seems like I was always having to whip the sisters out. I seemed to always have some male relative in the room, and it was not possible for me to be discreet because I just wasn't good enough at it. No one ever got grossed out or offended, and I never felt self conscious, either. Even my brother is cool with it, he just doesn't look at my boob while I'm feeding. Is it really that hard??? Geez.

[Tracey]

I'm Australian, we have a legislated right to breastfeed wherever we want and cannot be refused service or asked to leave a public place for breastfeeding; we have awards for breastfeeding-friendly workplaces; but mostly I think we have a fairly accepting and laid back attitude to b/f. I breastfeed in lots of public places, in front of friends, at social events, wherever DS needed to be fed for 14 months and never had anything but positive comments.

A friend's 10 year old son was fascinated when I started feeding DS as a very small baby and rather than sending him away I thought it was great that he understand how natural this was.Oh my gosh, maybe I've perverted him forever!

[Tessy]

I found it! It's pasted below:

The Primary NIP Myth: "The Right Not To Be Offended"

People suppose they have the right not to be made uncomfortable by seeing a baby nursing, but that is their desire, not the actual case. That kind of sense of entitlement is founded on a false premise.

There is no such thing as "The Right Not To Be Offended".

For example, if I am eating out and the man at the table next to me does something I find offensive, say, chews loudly with his mouth wide open, (which actually does make me sick and can ruin a meal for me) I can go over to his table and request for him to sit somewhere else, or I can ask the wait staff to have him finish his meal in the car, or possibly cover up with a tablecloth, right? We all know I'd be laughed out of the place if I responded that way, even though in my opinion, it is obvious he was being impolite. It isn't reasonable to believe that my opinion of his actions should obligate him to change his behavior, even though I wish he would. It isn't reasonable to believe that holding the opinion that breastfeeding is impolite means a mom should be obligated to avoid doing it in front of you or to do it in a way you find acceptable.

It is apparent that many people think they are entitled to have others meet their personal comfort needs, they seem to feel that rather than taking responsibility for their own discomfort if they see something they don't like, that the "offender" should then assume responsibilty for making them more comfortable. Adults are capable of meeting their own comfort needs. All it takes on their part to avoid being uncomfortable is to look away. But rather than doing so, they choose not to meet their own needs and then blame someone else for their discomfort.

If you have eyes, and ears, the reality is that you will sometimes see and hear things that you would rather not. A desire to be comfortable with the way the babies around you are eating is a preference that no one else is obligated to accomodate. It's not a matter of politeness or courtesy - feeding a baby is neither impolite nor "inconsiderate" nor discourteous in itself. It is unrealistic and self-absorbed to expect someone else to meet your own petty comfort needs. The general public is not responsible for understanding and accomodating everyone else's personal preferences.

Whether I like seeing a baby breastfeeding or not, it's my responsibility to take care of my own comfort. It's not up to perfect strangers going about their business to see that I remain in my own personal comfort zone.

Copyright © Sher Maloney

About the author:

Sher Maloney is a mom of two boys, WAHM and wife. When she is not firing off lactivist articles, she is spending time with family & friends and making unique handmade soap. Visit her site www.savonara.com to see her work, or contact her at info@savonara.com.

[Shandra]

I refuse to take responsibility for men's woodies. (I mean, unless I'm trying to! :))

I mean seriously, some men get stiff looking at great asses; I'm not about to wear a burqa. And really, as long as they don't leer at me and jerk off right there, if they want to go home and be randy 'cause my squirmy 11 mo old pulled the blanket off (people who go on about discreet nursing may not have had a squirmy son like mine), well go them. I just don't want to know about it. :-)

I try to nurse in low-profile spots but people's sexual hang ups are really not my problem. Feeding a baby is such a basic thing; there's no reason to make it secret and tee-hee-hee etc. IMHO. And in Ontario my right to do so's been reinforced for a long time. I do think the family/bfing lounges are great though; we're starting to get them in Toronto. They're quiet and peaceful and a nice place to spend time with a nursing babe.

I have to say though about the cover - images of bottle fed babies are fine, and everywhere. Often paid for by formula companies. I see no reason the other method of feeding can't be shown - and until it can it's quietly reinforcing that breastfeeding is taboo in some way. So I say go Babytalk. Where do we sign up? :)

Gee I didn't know I felt so strongly about this one. But really.

[merseydotes]

I personally think that women who are/were offended by this have never had an orgasm (ie, woefully out of touch and/or ashamed of their bodies). And I'd bet they CERTAINLY don't masturbate because that is "gross," "dirty," etc.

In the end, I think it's the offended ones that lose out. (And not just on the orgasms either!) I had a friend who stopped BFing after 3 weeks because she felt confined to the house, unable to participate fully in social events, etc. She was not comfortable BFing in public at all. So she stopped BFing her son and had to carry around bottles and formula, etc, which to me was SO MUCH MORE of a pain than just sitting down and whipping out a boob.

[Gudrun]

On the Parenting Magazine site, did anyone notice this:

"Do you have a favorite photo of you breastfeeding your baby? Mail it in, and we may print it in an upcoming issue."

Personally, I felt uncomfortable nursing my baby in public (here in Canada) due to the looks I would sometimes get. Some of our shopping malls now have wonderful nursing rooms, but often I would just nurse my son in the car.

[mare_imbrium]

It isn't offensive to me. Every time I hear things like (and I am not targeting anyone specifically because I haven't read the above comments yet)how breastfeeding is "disgusting" and they don't think that women should breastfeed around boys older than, oh, 5-7, it makes me very sad. And sometimes angry. But mostly sad.

I forgot about the whole topless beaches thing in other countries. I really don't know why we can't be more like that. I don't know why we're taught to be ashamed of the human body.

[mare_imbrium]

Oh and I wanted to mention, but forgot: I'm American. I live in California where actually we have a lot of good legislation that states that breastfeeding mothers cannot be asked to leave an area just because she's breastfeeding, and even a great law where companies over a certain number of employs are required to give breastfeeding mothers regular breaks during the day to pump (unpaid if need be, but regular) and must furnish a room for their use which has an outlet but is NOT a bathroom.

[Camille]

Nursed 3 babies. Couldn't believe that there was even a murmur about that picture, let alone an uproar. What is wrong with us? Sheesh.

[projgen]

My hubby was actually the one who brought the story to my attention in the first place. He thought it was the most ridiculous thing that people would find that photo offensive. He said there was absolutely nothing sexual about it. We have a friend who bf's in front of us, without a towel or blanket, and is not at all discreet. It used to make me a bit uncomfortable for my hubby, but when I realized that he wasn't even paying attention (it's not a "boobie" unless it's in lace or in his face), I got over my discomfort.

Why do we have no problem with girls and women wearing pants cut so low you have to have a Brazilian to wear them, or g-string bikinis, or butt crack you could stick a wad of bills in? Skimpy tops that show everything but the nipple? Low cut shirts that v down to the sternum and need tape to stay in place? These are all "okay" but a woman feeding her child, providing nourishment for an infant to grow, is disgusting, gross, horrifying, uncalled for, trash-worthy?

I don't get some people.

[MollieBee]

One love to all my females, we have enough shit to deal with in this world without worrying about our tits.

In regards to the woody comment: Should we women wear burkas? Should we not let our daughters out of the house? Should we stop going out in public? After all, just our mere presence could cause a man to have desires.

Why do think your tits will turn men on? Our sick society has taught men to value Playboy boobs, not our real ones. It's sad, but true. I guess I'd have to say Bravo to the man who is turned on by a REAL woman.

Why do we only talk about this shit amongst ourselves, it's the fucking men that have turned our boobs into sexual objects. God forbid we should stand up and tell them to fuck off! If Women can't see their tits as anything but sex objects, how can we expect men to?

People are freaks, they can be turned on by anything. Have you heard of foot fetishists? Howabout pedophiles? I guarantee your tits are old news.

My tits are saggy, my belly is round. I am a sexy bitch. I am a mother and proud of it. If I ever have the chance to breastfeed again, I will do it wherever the fuck I please. Look at me all you want, I'm not going to hide. I'm your worst nightmare people, a woman who loves her body and is not ashamed of it at all.

[MsShad]

If more 10 year old boys saw breasts that feed babies, they would grow up with a healthier attitude about breasts. As it is now, they're hidden and secret, which just makes them that more titalating, and titalating is sexual.

[jill]

*shaking head* I don' know what's wrong with us....

[K.]

(sorry, i haven't read all comments so i hope i'm not repeating someone.) someone pointed out somewhere else that about 25% of the reactions to the photo were negative. that means about 75% was positive. i feel like 25% is pretty high, but if you think about it, that's a minority. the article just jumped on it and sensationalized it a bit...what struck me was the number of women complaining about it, and the number who were scandalized that their husbands or sons might see the picture. *rolls eyes*

i don't have a problem with the picture, nipple or no. lovely breastfeeding picture.

[twizzle]

Hi Tertia,

If, indeed, you were referring to my comment on CityMama's blogpost on the same topic wherein I said something to the effect of, "at least the nipple wasn't showing," I wanted to let you know that I was just being flippant. I don't give a fuck. Breasfeed anywhere you like, epecially on the cover of magazines!

xox,
Twizzle

[lyns]

heres a good one for you all..esp those who are anti public breastfeeding... keep in mind I am in the miniority of those who would think this right..but...
I am a pastor..who has breastfed 2/3 children in church in front of my enitre youth group...(that would be teenagers ages 13-18, mixed boys and girls!!) Not only did I get TOTALY parental support...but I even got nursing advise from a 13year old boy (who happens to be S.African!!!)... The parents of these kids thought it was AWESOME for their kids to see a mom in action... to know that this is NOT SHAMEFUL..and frankly i didn't get one undue stare or comment...in fact most of the kids thought this was perfectly normal, natural..and i even got them offering to burp said babies after!!! xo lyns

[paola]

Please can you say 'you guys in the US' instead of 'you guys'? Some of your readers are nice sensible citizens of the Commonwealth who would never find this sort of thing offensive in a billion years.

[Menita]

I thought that the picture was just gorgeous - the innocence, the trust, the wonder all captured perfectly. I was astounded to hear of the controversy, and even more to here some progressive friends say "whoa! that's a lot of boob!"
I still think it's a beautiful photograph.

[Anne]

Been away for a long, long time and so it real ironic that on the day I say, “hey I haven’t read So Close in ages …..” that you happen to talk about this article. Twice in the past week I’ve gotten comments from family members re. BF my son. My Aunt who’s 2 daughters both BFed their children (some past 2 years) was mentioning how embarrassed she was when my cousin’s son pulled at mom’s top and wanted to nurse, and her comment to me (as I’m nursing my soon) about how she felt when one of her daughters nursed her son in a restaurant – “Yuck!” So the clear implication was, I know it’s good for baby but please tell me you plan on weaning soon b/c I may feel embarrassed to be around you. Love you Aunty P but you’ll just have to feel embarrassed. AND just yesterday I was at lunch with my parents, my brother and his wife (who were in from out of town), and my now 10 month old was letting mommy know that I wasn’t feeling him fast enough by pounding on the table (as you do when you are 10 months old). I jokingly stated, “well I could always bust out the boob that will keep him quiet.” My SIL said, “Oh please don’t I was so mortified (her actual words) the last time you did that.” (the last time they were in town my son was 3 months old). I was floored I tell you, I BF any and everywhere sorta looking to get challenged I guess I just never thought it would come on the home front.

I think the real problem is America has so sexualized the breast and many Americans are unable to see past that – that and we don’t get enough opportunity to see natural/normal BFing taking place.

And an other thing I am so tired of the comments along the lines of “ … just be discreet and cover yourself” I don’t use a blanket, it’s hot here in Hawaii, and nothing SCREAMS I’m nursing my baby over here like a big ole blanket draped over yourself. That being said I never seen, and have never, just popped my boob out in public and began nursing – once you get the hang of it discreet nursing becomes second nature

[Dani]

You know... it just hit me now. I'm a 34 year old American woman and I've only been in the presence of 2 breastfeeding women (that I know of) in my whole life.

I think that says something about how we've "privatized" breastfeeding as a country. I know that I've known more women who breastfed their children but none of them were confident enough to do it openly. What did this to us? How did we get this way? How can we treat something so natural, so "unnatural"?

::Sigh::

I just don't know what to say about this....

[Judy]

I'm with chickenpig way up there in the comments. The only thing I find offensive about this picture is how PERFECT the breast is - where's the sag? The stretch marks? The blue veins?

Jealous, yes, that would be me.

[Judy]

I'm with chickenpig way up there in the comments. The only thing I find offensive about this picture is how PERFECT the breast is - where's the sag? The stretch marks? The blue veins?

Jealous, yes, that would be me.

[Mainland Mum]

Hi Tertia. Don't know if you'll read down this far, but thanks for another great post. Great comments, too! I'm going to add "stick it up their jumper" to my phrasebook! I've nursed both my kids in public, and only a couple of times had a negative look--and was once told to use a washroom. I refused. I have many times hoped that I would get the opportunity to request the police be called if the offended party so desired. Guess I'll have to risk an arrest some other way. Anyway, as far as the Puritanical argument goes, I'm not so sure that's the case; I don't think it's that simple. Sure, North Americans (I'm Canadian) have our hang-ups, but I think the matter has more to do with our collective sense of ownership over women's bodies, and the shockingly tender age at which girls are sexualized and exploited. I think that many people have come to so accept the notion that women's bodies are objects to be enjoyed and objectified (hey, any country that sells thongs for little girls is not that Puritanical) that any display that defies conventional thinking makes people extremely uncomfortable. It's depressing as all get-out. There are people starving, enduring horrific abuse, and living in terror in many places on this planet, and yet a lactating breast feeding a child is cause for disgust and fear? I despair for humanity.

My, uh, bottom line is this: I don't have a problem with seeing your head wedged up your butt in public as long as you are discreet about it and don't clearly expose yourself in front of everyone. Because if you aren’t discreet in public, you are making the choice for everyone else to see your head up your butt– and that isn’t always a good thing. Please! Simply be discreet, turn away from people, cover yourself adequately, etc.

Thought some might get a kick out of these cards:
http://www.mommyguide.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=147

[lou]

In Australia there is (or at least there was- I've been away for a year) a tv show called The Panel- a panel of 4 men and 1 woman who humourously discuss current events once a week. A few years ago the 1 woman had a baby, and two weeks later needed to breast feed in the final five minutes of the live show. You could barely see the baby under the desk, and not much of her breast either. At the same time, one of the men showed a video clip of a woman washing a car windscreen with her DD sized breasts... filmed from inside the car. You could see EVERYTHING.

The next day, the live breastfeeding was being reported as a national outrage with much debate, and yet the window washing clip did not get a single mention.

It seems that the public viewing of breasts for the sexual gratification of men is ok, yet breasts being used as nourishment for our offspring is disgusting.

What a sadly hypocritical society we live in.

[lou]

In Australia there is (or at least there was- I've been away for a year) a tv show called The Panel- a panel of 4 men and 1 woman who humourously discuss current events once a week. A few years ago the 1 woman had a baby, and two weeks later needed to breast feed in the final five minutes of the live show. You could barely see the baby under the desk, and not much of her breast either. At the same time, one of the men showed a video clip of a woman washing a car windscreen with her DD sized breasts... filmed from inside the car. You could see EVERYTHING.

The next day, the live breastfeeding was being reported as a national outrage with much debate, and yet the window washing clip did not get a single mention.

It seems that the public viewing of breasts for the sexual gratification of men is ok, yet breasts being used as nourishment for our offspring is disgusting.

What a sadly hypocritical society we live in.

[Anonymous C I think]

It is possible that some of those who find the photo to be offensive are those who still harbor guilty feelings for not breast feeding either because they didn't want to or couldn't. I breast fed my 3, and actually have this magazine. When I first saw the cover I thought "huh". It made me a little uncomfortable, but then again, I am an incredibly modest person. I blush at plumbers butt(not mine). Do I find the photo offensive? No more so than a baby sucking a bottle. It's just an image I think most American's aren't used to seeing on the cover of a magazine.

[Jennie]

how freaking stupid, the most natural thing in the world and people are getting het up over a picture..

No kids yet but I will breast feed in public should I get that lucky

I go topless to the beach I sit in my backyard topless (and I'm a city dweller with highrise buildings around me so I can be seen) I don't give a fig what anyone thinks they are boobs if I have no issue showing them then those that don't want to see them, it's easy turn your head or look away.

[Leah]

I don't get it, either! I posted about it on my blog - complete with pictures of my breasts. OH THE HORROR!

[Jodie Buckland]

I few years ago we'd organised to go out for dinner with some friends, my daughter was only 4 WEEKS OLD. I casually mentioned that I would need to breastfeed at the restaurant if we went, and my best friend said "Oh please don't do that, my husband couldn't cope, why don't you and I go across the road to the park and you can feed there with a blanket on or something?". And I think the reason her husband couldn't cope was because he only sees tits as designed for sex. When his wife had her first child, he discouraged breastfeeding and told her she had to bottle feed in public. Because guys would be "checking her out".

He'd probably have a toss over that magazine cover. Personally, I can't see one thing offensive about it.

[Miranda]

I just like the theory from the article that her 13yo son "doesn't need to see a boob he didn't want to see" he's 13... of course he wants to see boobs.

[sweetie]

The only thing that I find offensive about this picture is "plastic" perfection of it. That does not look like the breast of a lactating mother and the position looks abnormal, too. All theses magazine covers continue to alienate real women; In Shape magazine, Fit pregnancy, they are all the same, they use models and they retouch all the photos. They aren't real and it saddens me that women will compare themselves and their bodies to these photos.
B

[adwina-insparenting.com]

Thanks a lot for this great entry, Tertia. You've been chosen as the
Blog of the Week.

I do agree with you. Just don't get it why those people are arguing about the nursing-moms pics. To me, it's even unbelievable if people think women are not suppose to nurse in public. In my opinion, it's a woman's right to do so. I don't want to let my baby cry just because he needs to wait for me looking for a "suitable" place for nursing.

Once again, thanks a lot and have a nice weekend!

Love,
Adwina

[mel]

Obviously don't find this offensive but agree the boob looks irritatingly perky and nothing like the rather tired boobs I've seen whipped out. I once had to do my tax return and the guy came to my house (Rebeka was a few weeks old) Paying the guy hourly so he's chatting, I'm nursing and we take care of business perfectly. Gary (darling husband) so pissed off and was never allowed to nurse in public again. Basically whenever we were together I would have to find some grotty private place or the car and feed there. When he wasn't with, Lazy (LHS boob, bad producer) and Daisy (RHS litres of milk), were whipped out whenever my babes demanded them. I decided if Gary really not comfortable with then not worth the fight as if situations reversed, I would want him to respect my opinion. (not a wussy wife)
Have to admit feel uneasy if my 10 year old son is around but he is at the pervy LOVES boobs stage. What can I say, he's a "boob man".
So, each situation different.

[Ellie]

Well OBVIOUSLY beautiful pictures of babies being nurtured the way nature intended aren't out there on coffee tables nearly enough in the USA. Seriously, they need to ditch all the "Give your baby the best start" formula billboards and get some healthy perspective on infant care and mothering back!

Not knocking formula by the way, it has it's place. So does breastfeeding, as natural, healthy and something to be damn proud of.

Ellie (Who has bottlefed, and breastfed, and wishes fervently that her boobs looked THAT good.)

[Jill]

I am offended by the picture. Not because the woman is breastfeeding, but because it appears to be a picture of a breast, with the baby being an after-thought. The breast itself doesn't bother me. But I feel it was a deliberate attempt to stir up controversy. That bothers me.

I also wonder, as someone else mentioned, where the stretchmarks are, and why everything looks so perky. I wonder how much airbrushing took place?

Weren't we just discussing how bodies really look after giving birth, and celebrating the truth? This picture doesn't look truthful to me.

[Bella]

So, I think it is beautiful, and made me miss my breastfeeding days, but I was a little afraid of my four-year-old son's reaction when we came across it in a baby store. (I had stopped dressing in front of him about a year ago when he became more than a little curious about our anatomical differences.)He looked at the cover and said, "Ohhhh, look! The baby's sucking his own leg!" and then demonstrated by lifting his knee and sucking it!

[Melany]

Tertia that was my FIRST thought when I saw the controversy about that photo. PEOPLE! You see more breast on the bloody beach with all the girls almost walking around NAKED. And yeah here in good old South Africa you will see naked breast at almost every visit to town. Geeshh...grow up people!

[Hannah]

I personally would prefer to see a woman breastfeeding than the alternative, because I know she's doing what's best for her baby. I am fairly conservative (as in, I don't show off my boobs or wear low-cut shirts) and I had no problem with it. Boobs are for nursing!

I personally believe it's fine to nurse in public, but I've been too scared to do it living here in the bible belt south in the good ol' USA. I dread the looks and the comments. Now, that's sad!

[JennG]

Couldn't agree more... =) I found it fascinating as well and even posted it on my site too. The responses I got were mostly pro, with a few cons. But as you said, this is as natural and beautiful as life gets...

[Chickenpig]

Somthing was bothering me about this picture. It is beautiful, no doubt about it. But something is definitely wrong about it. Then someone posted that the position of the baby was all wrong, and then I got it. Not only is the baby at the totally wrong angle to be feeding, his or her mouth doesn"t have the curled lip pucker I am so used to seeing of a good latch. If the photo was of a baby actually eating, there wouldn"t be so much breast exsposed, and there would be less offense. Is it possible that the people at the magazine deliberately posed this photo to bring maximum attention and publicity? If so, it sure worked.

[Kay]

The picture was meant to DEPICT breastfeeding. I'm sure it was "posed" to show as much of the baby as possible. The areola was probably photoshopped out to *avoid* controvery, not create it.

Let's not get into nit picking the touching up of the picture. It's the IDEA that people found offensive, not the fact that the photo was retouched. Good jeebis in the sky, EVERY photo in a magazine is retouched.

And, FWIW, my boobs never got stretchmarks or blue veins. They were full and even-colored. I'm a 38D. if I held my arm to get into a position such that a photo like that could be taken, they also *perk up*.

[marion]

You know, I am very pro-breastfeeding, and have visited many a topless/nude beach in both Europe and the U.S. (yes, we have them here) and have greatly enjoyed, among other things, not having to sit around in a wet swimsuit when I wanted a break from swimming. The human body is great.

That having been said, I did have a problem with the Janet Jackson thing. I would feel perfectly comfortable taking an eight-year-old to a nude beach. I don't feel perfectly comfortable explaining to an eight-year-old why a teen-idol type, after singing, "I'll have you naked by the end of this song," forcibly ripped off the top of the woman singing with him - a woman who then appeared to look uncomfortable and ashamed. There's been some discussion here of the role that over-sexualization, inappropriate general "ownership" and objectification of women's bodies plays in Americans' hangups about breastfeeding - well, in my opinion, the Janet Jackson incident was a glaring example of all that. Not to mention: 1) it was happening during the half-time event of a sports show that was supposed to be an event for all ages, as opposed to, say, on a TV show rated "Mature" or on a pay channel like HBO (where much more than boobs gets shown); 2) it was deliberately planned and orchestrated by MTV, who then tried to wiggle out of having done so; and 3) the person MTV essentially blamed for it was Janet Jackson, who currently has no career, while Justin Timberlake is still making millions. My problems with the FCC are many and legion, and I strongly oppose many of the other things that they've done (fining NBC because U2's Bono let a spontaneous profanity slip during a live show? PLEASE!), but if they hadn't fined MTV owner Viacom for this, the only party that would have ended up dealing with any lasting consequences would have been Janet Jackson, the only woman involved in the situation.

Besides, poor Janet's breast was one of the most unnatural, un-sexy things I've ever seen. Her plastic surgeon should be shot.

As for the photo on the cover of this magazine - on the one hand, it's nice to see a breastfeeding photo that shows us a baby's peaceful, mama-focused face, demonstrating the ideal breastfeeding dynamic. On the other hand, as others have pointed out, I can't see how a baby could actually get any milk out from that particular angle (please correct me if I'm wrong) and that breast looks either too untouched or too airbrushed to be an actual nursing breast (again, could be wrong). I do think this particular photo was at least somewhat intended to stir up discussion and bring attention and publicity to the magazine. The fact that people are so stirred up about it on both sides is the result of effective marketing, in essence - we're having this debate because of capitalism, in the end. Something to keep in mind. As for the negative feedback - keep in mind that the reader who saw it and thought, "baby, breast, whatever, time to make dinner/get to the office/pick up the kids" is unlikely to be writing in. 25 percent negative feedback does not equate to 25 percent negative overall audience reaction.

[jo]

Please do not shoot me but I find it uncomfortable when a women openly breast feeds without any attempt to be discreet. Now I know it is a totally natural thing, and I do not have a problem with mothers who do it discretely. BUT I am mainly embarrassed for my husband and his friends. Men are taught from an early age not to opening stare at women's breasts. It is uncomfortable for him to see a women who just "flops it out" (his words not mine. We were at a restaurant a couple of years ago and a lady called my husbands name and as he looked over she lifted up her top, took out her breast, then picked up the baby and started breastfeeding. All the time she engaged him in conversation. All it would have take would have been her to get the baby comfortable and then talk to him.

I guess it is just culture. We are the age where a man can be hit by a sexual harassement case for telling jokes. My husband worries that he will be hit with one for looking over at a women breastfeeding.

[EFF]

Not saying that BF is bad or wrong, but this is my take. I feel that just because it is natural, does not mean it should be done in public. Having sex to procreate is beautiful and natural, yet we do not do that in public because it is a time when husband and wife bond and are intimate. I have never BF, but for many women they seem to say BF is a bond, so I say, then shouldnt it be done more discreetly? Animals procreate on the street, humans do not. Animals nurse their young out in public, and even though we are mammals, I do not think we should compare ourselves to dogs and cats, etc, by doing whatever is natural in our lives out in public. Private times are just that, private. Belching, excreting, procreating, etc, are all differnet things that humans do and animals do too, but some things are just better left for more discreet times. That is what I come up with when I think about why I do not agree that just because BF is natural, we should do it in church, in a meeting, in public, etc, with the breast being visible. If it must be done, it really can be done so discreetly. Just because I ovulate while at work, does not give me the right to do what GOd intended me to do and procreate in work. I do not see the difference. I just think the line must be drawn somewhere. Some people do not see sex as dirty, just natural and loving, yet we know when and where to refrain ourselves from that. Yes, boobs have been sexualized and that is where the problem lies, but the reality is men DO find boobs attractive, and it may seem risque to some who do not breastfeed or have never seen it done in front of them. I am a woman and I personally would rather not see another womans boob at an office meeting, or church. Just like I dont want to see another woman and man procreating in public, I just think certain acts are private.

DO not bash me, not judging anyone, not saying its dirty, just saying we are not animals without intelligence, we do not act just based on animal instinct and if we are mammals and that is what we are meant to do, then where do we draw the line about what acts are private and which are not? Just my opinion and wanted to share why some may see it as inappropriate.