Open line

Today is National Women's Day in South Africa and we all get the day off.

"National Women's Day is an annual public holiday in South Africa on August 9. This commemorates the national march of women in this day in 1956 to petition against legislation that required African persons to carry the "pass", special identification documents which curtailed an African's freedom of movement during the apartheid era."

So while I lounge around being waited on hand and foot (yeah right), I thought I would take this opportunity to ask you what you would like to speak about?  What would you like to chat about?  Is there any thing you would like to ask me?  What have you been dying to know about me and have been too afraid to ask. 

This is your chance!  It's an open line for the next few days.

Oh and btw, I'll be on the radio again tomorrow night, to talk about my book.  Yay.  You can listen here via live steaming audio.  Thursday the 10th Aug, at 7pm my time (Cape Town, South Africa), which I think is 6pm (or 5pm? Have you guys gone back to day light savings time?) UK time, and 1pm New York time.  Here is the time zone converter thing.

Comments

[Jen]

Me first? Wow, there's a first time for everything!!!!
I would love to hear about your relationship with your family during your ttc years. What were their reactions to everything, how supportive were they, etc? If it is too much of a sticky issue with them reading your blog just forget about it!

[Boulder]

Where in the world (besides my home, HK to see Tess & MC, and that asshole Julie's home) would you like to visit and why?

Do you have a list of things you "want to do when you grow up," and have you crossed anything off the list that you'd share with us? (Not the obvious things like marriage & kids.)

How'd you meet Marko? Did he finish the book? (When do I get my autographed copy - hmph!) What was the other book he's read?

Are you keeping up your blonde hair? Are you still waxing the cooter? (Spring is coming!) Still toying with botox? Do you have pink Prada sandals?

How much do you adore me?

xoxo

[Boulder]

(Isn't that kind of a request for an update on the "b's" - Botox, Bald, Blonde, Boulder...)

[Tertia]

I would love to hear about your relationship with your family during your ttc years. What were their reactions to everything, how supportive were they, etc?

They were very supportive, all of them. My mother was especially supportive, but so were my sisters. Actually, they all were. Very. However, I didn’t always allow them to be. There were times when I was very prickly, and very raw, and very bitter / angry / jealous, and I wouldn’t let them get close to me. But I couldn’t have asked for a more supportive family.

Where in the world (besides my home, HK to see Tess & MC, and that asshole Julie's home) would you like to visit and why?

Oh, now that I have ‘met’ all of you, I want to go every where where you are. I am dying to see where every one lives and what their daily life is like. As for a holiday, I don’t know. Some where luxurious and island’y. I want beaches and spas and cocktails.

Do you have a list of things you "want to do when you grow up," and have you crossed anything off the list that you'd share with us? (Not the obvious things like marriage & kids.)

I’d like to own my own business one day. I want to work at something that is my passion or hobby.

I’d also like to do my Doctorate. One day, maybe.

I’d like to go on a luxury cruise.

I’d like to tour the world.

Boring huh.

How'd you meet Marko?

In a bar. ;-)

Did he finish the book?

He is on page 62. The asshole!

(When do I get my autographed copy - hmph!)

Shut up.

What was the other book he's read?

Going to do a poll on this soon. So you’ll have to wait.

Are you keeping up your blonde hair?

I’ve toned it down slightly, the regrowth thing was making me feel too damn ugly

Are you still waxing the cooter? (Spring is coming!)

No, but I intend to change that soon. The furry look is not doing it for me

Still toying with botox?

No. But yearning after it every day.

Do you have pink Prada sandals?

No, am too poor. But if I found a pair on the sale, I would buy them in a heartbeat

How much do you adore me?

More than all the grains of sand on the beach, more than all the stars in the sky, more than all the glasses of wine I have consumed. In other words, a fuck load amount.

[ShutterJane]

What scares you ? i can imagine that while you struggled to fall pregnant you were scared that i wont happen. Now that you have the twins, they are gorgeous btw, what scares you the most ?

[channah]

I know boulder asked, but I wandered what Marko's reactions were to the book?

[Jodie Buckland]

Oooh thanks!

How did you meet Rose, and how quickly did you decide that she was perfect for your family? And is it likely (ugh, heaven forbid!) that she will want to leave in a few years? Or is she in it for the "long haul"? She's such a treasure.

If you had a whole day with no kids and no work, and no computer, what would you love to do?

[MJ]

The babies of course and more on south africa, i love learning bout it thru your eyes.

[Mia]

Are you from South Africa? Where have you traveled to?

[Gudrun]

Will you and Marko try to have more babies? Or grow your family in another way?

[Sky]

Having several friends whose marriages have simultaneously hit the rocks has obviously given you what I call a 'clang' moment - as in 'CLANG, oh my god, if this is happening to everyone else, maybe I need to pay a bit more attention to how I/we are doing on this issue'. What other 'clang' moments have you had, and did you decide to change anything or not after the examination. I know 'clang' sounds pretty daft, but its the only way I can describe it in my head - like the penny dropping, not not one penny, about 20,000!

[Louise]

I would love to hear more about your parents' love story and marriage!
I really enjoyed reading about them a few weeks ago.

[steph]

How did you handle the situation of telling or not telling your friend about a potential 'challenge' you saw with her child?

What does it mean to be more wifey?? What kind of time does Marko want with you and does it have to be just the 2 of you for it to count?

I'm sure i'll think of more later, like some of your poll questions, i'm curious as to your answers.

btw, what is a Picaso-esque figure? I keep picturing crooked faces...?

steph

[Hoping]

this may be too personal but in my family (I had a brother pass away when he was 5) we have special ways of honoring him and keeping his spirit alive. What do you and your family to honor Ben? do you do anything or did you to honor any miscarriages you had if any?

[Tertia]

What scares you ? i can imagine that while you struggled to fall pregnant you were scared that i wont happen. Now that you have the twins, they are gorgeous btw, what scares you the most ?

I have this secret fear, one I don’t like to bring out often, that my wonderful good fortune is temporary, that some how I am destined for tragedy. That my babies will be taken from me. I thought about it again today. The good side of this terrible fear is that it makes me fully, deeply appreciate every single day I have with them, as if it was my last. Terrible huh. It’s the hangover from all the tragedy. It’s hard to believe the heart ache is over.

I wandered what Marko's reactions were to the book?

It’s strange for him, because it is his story to. He is reading an account of his life. So far so good, but he is still only on page 62. Mostly he is very proud of me, and that is such a nice feeling for me. Marko knows and accepts that I am a very open and honest person, and so he knew I would be pretty much that in the book. There are no surprises for him in the book really. But then again, he has just started, he hasn’t got to the really deep bits.

How did you meet Rose, and how quickly did you decide that she was perfect for your family? And is it likely (ugh, heaven forbid!) that she will want to leave in a few years? Or is she in it for the "long haul"? She's such a treasure.

When I was looking for a nanny, I approached several employment agencies. I set aside a day to interview a bunch of them. My mom helped me because I was totally bed bound by then and couldn’t drive. Rose was the first person I interviewed ad I loved her. Everyone that I interviewed after her paled in comparison. But what persuaded me to hire her was my mother’s feedback. My mother drove her back to the taxi rank and she said that she had such a divine conversation with Rose on the way back. I trust my mother implicitly and if my mom loved her too, well, my mind was made up.

I live in fear that Rose will leave. I have several plans in place to ensure that she stays as long as possible. Firstly, I am going to buy her a car. Well, first teach her how to drive etc. having a car is going to be fabulous for Rose and for me, I can’t wait!! Then, we are going to start a business together, Rose and I. A nanny training and placement business. I am really excited about it and so is Rose. So, I have plenty of plans for Rose. She is like family to me and I hope she stays with me for a very long time.

If you had a whole day with no kids and no work, and no computer, what would you love to do?

Love to do or should do? Should do is tidy my study and do some filing, way over due. Love to do….. with money – a spa day, I am in desperate need of some pampering. No money – READ!!! I haven’t had time to relax and read for, well, 19 months and two days.

Are you from South Africa? Where have you traveled to?

I am born and bred South African, but I have a Dutch passport as well. My mother is Dutch and my father has a German passport. I’ve travelled to Europe (Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Italy, UK) and in Southern Africa (Botswana and Namibia). I’d love to visit the USA.

Will you and Marko try to have more babies? Or grow your family in another way?

Sigh. I’d love to. But I am not sure my marriage will survive it. Well, that might be a bit over dramatic, but it’s been pretty tough. If I didn’t have to work, and we had a bit more money, I’d definitely try again. But the way things are right now, I am not so sure. Ask me again in a years time.

What other 'clang' moments have you had, and did you decide to change anything or not after the examination.

I’ve had many. I have them all the time because I over analyze every thing and love to ponder over things. I had a ‘clang’ moment with the feeling fat thing. I realized that it must be hurtful and annoying to people who truly suffer to hear me go on about how I am feeling fat. I can still ‘feel fat’, but I need to be sensitive how I say it. My most recent ‘clang’ moment was after reading that Love Languages book. I wish I could share it with you, I would LOVE to, but my damn husband has taken to reading my blog. But it made me realize that that your Love Language can also be your vulnerability ito your marriage as well. Blah! Wish I could say more.

I would love to hear more about your parents' love story and marriage!

With pleasure! I’d love to tell you about them, they are so divine. But that is a whole post on its own – watch this space!

How did you handle the situation of telling or not telling your friend about a potential 'challenge' you saw with her child?

I chickened out, pathetic person that I am. I tried though. I spoke about it in a round about way, I dropped hints but she was oblivious. . It is not major stuff, the child is happy and loved. So I left it. Pathetic huh. I just didn’t want to come across as a know-it-all asshole

What does it mean to be more wifey?? What kind of time does Marko want with you and does it have to be just the 2 of you for it to count?

He wants me to do the things I did with him before kids. Go for breakfast sometimes, watch a movie with him, go out for dinner. Have sex with him. That stuff. I haven’t been a very attentive wife for a while. Not good.

I'm sure i'll think of more later, like some of your poll questions, i'm curious as to your answers.

Ah, I especially don’t let you guys know my answers. Now that would be telling!

btw, what is a Picaso-esque figure? I keep picturing crooked faces...?

Hahaha! That was a tongue in cheek one. A mishmash of shapes that equal your own personal quirky shape.

What do you and your family to honor Ben? do you do anything or did you to honor any miscarriages you had if any?

We talk about him, quite a bit. We tell people about him, we tell his story. The book is a big way of doing that. My mom has a photo of him on her dressing table, right in the middle of all the other grandkids. I have a memory box, of all his things. Including his box of ashes. I haven’t, and won’t, spread his ashes any where. I can’t bear the thought of having his ashes away from me. I need them close to me. I am not yet strong enough to go through his box of things. It is still too raw and sore. So every thing is in his memory box. One day, when I am stronger, I will go through it again.

[Scheherazade]

What were you like as a teenager?

What was your first boyfriend like? Do you still talk to him?

Worst outfit caught for time immemorial in a photo ever?

[Simone]

Would you consider coming to my blog & leaving a "Tertia Was Here" comment?
...like an autograph! I'm a geek & it would make me happy.

[azlin]

hey i'd love to have my own personal "Tertia was here" too!

if i do remarry to the One in cape town, you will be invited to the wedding hahah! and i'm very serious about the invitation but least serious abt remarrying.

how were you taught abt race and diversity, having grown up in south africa with all the racial and political tension?

[Dani]

Do I piss you off when I IM you at 6:00 in the morning while the babes are crawling all over you, you are trying to check your blog, and haven't washed your bits for work yet?

Ummm... never mind that one. Moving on to the next question....

You've mentioned Marko's "sporty car". What does he drive? What do you drive? Do you consider yourself a "good" driver?

Have you been wearing your retainer like a good girl? :P

Who teaches you your "techie" stuff (cell phone videos on the blog, photo-shopping pics, etc.)?

How the HELL do you keep up with posting daily, responding to comments, all your email, AND still have time to read and comment on other people's blogs??? (These tasks combined.... make me think you are really not just one person. ;) )

xoxo

[Dani]

Oh... one more:

Did you change the font on your blog or am I just really tired and my eyes are screwing with me?

[BoonzaierBabe]

I'd love to read about your feelings and events when Aparteid ended in 1994. My husband was 10 at the time and he remembers that at one point the history books just completely changed in school and it was very confusing.

[Ex Friend Bee]

Steaming Audio? Is that similar to streaming but run by Ibexes?
My question: WHO is your best friend. MWHAHAHAHAH

[scott]

Hello, multimedia buddy!
You sounded just right tonight, patient (with the twit), assertive and clever. I just had to phone to keep you on your toes...
I am so glad that your book is stirring up a response in a different group of readers to the blog. You rock!

[Scheherazade]

You sounded very dignified although the Dr lady spoke for ages and I thought they'd never get you on air!

[Dani]

Just got done listening (I even stuck around after the news). You sounded GREAT! You're getting pretty good at this celebrity stuff. ;)

That guy (TJ?), took up waaaay too much time. I think I heard him more than you. :(

[Dani]

"Open Line" my ass! You left me hanging!

Asshole. ;)

[steph]

Here's one for ya...Do you ever feel just a little resentful (may be too strong a word), or just tweeked that you as the woman/mom of the household do so much more in every aspect than Marko? (perhaps I shouldn't assume that's the case, but it seems so--it seems so in 95% of families.) Just wondering.........i'm in the midst of talking myself out of such feelings....