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I could eat both of your kids up!! They are both adorable...tears, sweat, rage, anger, frustration, tantrums and all...(of course I only see pictures) but they are simply little slices of heaven!

So cute! Its funny though, in the bathtime picture, Kate looks soooo intense and Adam looks to be the laid back one. :)

I, too have an intense boy. He's four, and I often hope that people aren't judging him because of his emotions...they are just out there for all the world to see! I admit, though, that sometimes I have to flip him off when he can't see me, because he is being such an ass!

My little boy is intense too - and a bit of an ass at times! And I love him to the moon. My daughter, on the other hand, is sweet, polite, helpful and laid back. And I love her to the moon.

Luckily mummies can see all that is good in their trying little ones. Not so much other people though who sometimes pass it off as naughty or rude.

It's amazing how different kids' personalities are - goes to show that while nurture plays some part, a whole lot of it must be nature!

I have been reading your blog for ages, since my infertility days. Now I am a mum to twins myself but younger than yours.

I laughed so much at your post about Adam as I have said the same thing about one of my little 'darlings'- he really should not have been a twin but an only child! For him it is sharing the attention- not his strong point!

Oh poor Adam! This is normal behaviour ,often pre language too so its just frustration.But isnt he just a darling,hes soooo edible.Boys always love their Mummys .Girls are more laid back.

Not that you need me to say this, because obviously you handle/love Adam just fine but when mine act all intense, stubborn, willful, etc. I try to imagine it as a good quality in an adult. For example, maybe he'll bring all of that intensity to a sport or maybe he'll be as fierce about protecting his family someday as he is about protecting his toys now.

For me, I imagine someday my constantly talking, constantly wheeling and dealing, constantly arguing 4 year old will turn out to be one hell of an attorney. I'm still trying to think of a way to spin their habit of aiming sneezes at me (and each other). That one may take some work.

Em, I did the same thing. I turned my daughter's refusal until age 7 to get her teeth x-rayed into a terrific drive for self-preservation that would keep her from experimenting with drugs and so forth, and that just needed some fine-tuning. When I explained it to her that way - that she would have to find a way to make herself let them put the card in her mouth, but sometimes her instincts would be right - it worked like a charm.

Tertia, I'll bet they will swap back and forth as they grow up: sometimes Adam will be the easy one and Kate will be difficult.

I have to echo Laura's comment. I've found that my pair, now 2.5 (Incidentally Kathryn and Alexander), have swapped a number of times who is the intense child and who is the laid back one. Alex is currently the more laid back of the two, but just this morning had one of those screaming fits where I began to doubt that he knew what he wanted.

I have an Adam.
So I know just what you mean.

But your Adam is lucky to be a twin, I think. Because you are not able to dote on him and him alone, he will not turn into a spoiled controlling boy...
he's learning that although he may need lots of attention, you have other people to take care of as well.

Oh Tertia,I too have a little Adam by the name of Connor.He too is so intense and emotional,that sometimes he drives me to distraction.He is almost 5 and will be starting kindergarten in the fall.I so worry about his emotional outbursts.However,he is the sweetest boy,who dearly loves his mommy.He is also very bright.I have to agree with Em,I think these traits will work great for our boys as adults!

I find this very interesting. I often say the same thing about one of my stepdaughters. The ruin of her life was being born middle child. It's amazing how for some children there birth order can have such an effect in there life and others (like Kate and my oldest SD) seem to breeze by without noticing one way or the other. Have you ever read any birth order books? It can be an interesting read.

Hmmm. The birth order books I've browsed didn't seem to have anything significant or convincing to say about multiple birth children. Multiples seem to undermine their arguments, so they just ignore the issue!

Our triplets have three different personalities, of course, and have developed their own ways of dealing with each other and with the world. I believe their attitudes and tactics are a reflection of their individual personalities, not simply their birth order or developmental stages.

E.g. when they fight, one tends to hit, one tends to scream and yell, and one tends to grab what he wants and ignore the fuss, pretend he has no idea why the others are upset! We try to teach them different, more polite approaches, but those are their first instincts, even at age 6. Funny.

One of our daughters seems more intense, like Adam, and life is hard for her sometimes. She takes more of my attention when she is frustrated, and sometimes I worry that it's not fair to the ones who are less upset. On the other hand it's not fair that the intense one gets more negative consequences for tantrums. (Trying not to reward negative behaviour with more attention!)

I try to give each what they need on a given day, and hope it will all work out fairly in the end. The others have had their high-need stages, but not as consistently as this one daughter. But I also try not to label her in my mind as "the high-needs one" or something similar, because I don't want to lock her into that mode of behaviour by my expectations. Labels can become traps...

Sounds like you're doing a good job with both your sweet kids, Tertia!

Does Adam seem especially intelligent, Tertia? Our youngest daughter seems to be very bright (moreso than either of her older sisters), and is SO intense! Until just the past couple of weeks, beginning shortly after her first birthday, she was a total PITA! ALL the time! There would be brief glimpses of the sweet child I knew when she was younger, but then she'd be back to the PITA, fit-throwing, attention-seeking, whiney little girl. Can I just tell you how RELIEVED I am that this "stage" seems to have ended? After FIFTEEN FRICKIN' MONTHS?!?! LOL

Anyhow... all that to say that perhaps Adam is just now becoming a "terrible two." I know he has always needed more attention than Kate, but perhaps the fits he is throwing these days is just a passing stage?

Both of your babes are delicious. Post pics daily, please! ;-)

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