Sooooo you bunch of pervs, what do you want to know about my cooter?
I have a cooter, it is bald. That is all there is to know really.
I have been thinking to ways to spice up this post, but I am suffering from writers block. Bloggers block. Cooters block.
What would you like to know? How about we have a Q&A session about my cooter.
I’ll start with a few possible questions and my answers to them. You are welcome to add your questions and I will attempt to answer them as best as I can.
Q: Why on earth did you decide to have the hair
removed from your nether regions?
A: I felt like doing something sexy and different, and this seemed like a fun thing to do.
Q: But what about that whole ‘little girl’
pervy, icky Lolita thing?
A: This is not about wanting to look like a little girl. My cooter in no way resembles a little girls, hairless or not. Don’t think little girl, think more porn star. Not that I want to be a porn star. Oh bloody hell, just believe me when I say it has nothing to do with the little girl thing, promise.
Q: Does Marko like your bald cooter?
A: Marko LOVES my bald cooter. He follows me around the house, panting.
Q: Is it painful to wax your cooter??
A: It is fucking sore; don’t let any one tell you otherwise.
Q: Will you do it again?
A: Yes, because I’ve already forgotten how sore it was, and I like being smooth down below.
Q: Don’t you look like a plucked chicken
A: No, more like a plucked pussy – hahahahaha!
Q: How has the regrowth been?
A: V surprising actually, it has been three weeks already and only a tiny bit of hair has grown back. I expected stubble, a five o’clock shadow, instead there are just a few soft hairs that have grown back. Weird. I know waxing is supposed to slow down hair growth but surely not so quickly.
Q: Did you really put diaper cream on your
cooter after the wax?
A: Of course I did, my cooter was on FIRE
Q: When is your next wax?
A: On Thursday morning
Q: Do you think it
will be less sore?
A: I bloody well hope so, but I will be better prepared this time, I am taking painkillers before the appointment. I’d drink wine but the appointment is first thing in the morning. As much as I love my wine, I try not to drink before at least 10 in the morning. JOKING! Do NOT email me telling me you are worried about my drinking habits. It was a joke. Relax. It’s 11am any way, I don’t drink before 11.
Q: Why do you post such personal information on
A: Because I can and because I really don’t worry about stuff like that.
Q: Will you post a picture of your bald cooter
on your blog?
A: Nope. Believe it or not, even I wouldn’t do that.
So darlings, any thing else you want to know?
Hope the final B hasn’t been too anti-climatic, but for the life of me I couldn’t think of what else to say. I wasn’t expecting such a big interest in my cooter, although I strongly suspect my friend Anthony has found a way to hack my poll and do multiple votes for my cooter, hoping that I will post a picture or something. Pervy bastard. Only joking Ant!