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That is funny that my husband has the SAME hearing problem. Does not hear a thing I ask him, have to repeat two/three times but let me mutter something under my breath and he hears quite fine!

Thank goodness he goes back to work tomorrow and things get back to normal around here.

love you T - g*ds i know it too. never fear, the festive season is almost over!

It's called selective hearing - all men have it. The bums!

We go back to work and school tomorrow! I'm ready!

It's called selective hearing - all men have it. The bums!

We go back to work and school tomorrow! I'm ready!

I can totally relate. If I get through the next couple of days without killing him, it will be a miracle. If I disappear from the land of internet, you know I wasn't able to control the 'murder husband' impulse.

Oh, I am SOOOO ready for him to go back to work tomorrow. He took extra time off for some personal problems, so we've had 2 1/2 weeks of full-on together time. I am exhausted by him!

LOL...my husband retired this time last year and we have been HOME ALONE for one long year (most of which I was pregnant). We survived the pregnancy and a move to another state, but now...in my Post-Partum hormonal state...I have thought about booting him out the door at least twice in the last week. I love him dearly, but he does drive me batty at times.

I'm pretty sure all men have that. I know my husband does. We were invited to a New Year's Eve party by a client of his (people we have socialized with before) and I sent him on alone. My mom thought that it was weird for a married couple to spend New Year's Eve separately. I thought it was heavenly! Boy in bed, husband gone, whole evening to myself...now that was the way to ring in the new year!

AAAACCKK! MY husband is channelling YOUR husband! So THAT'S where he gets it from! Chip off the ol' Y chromosone I tell ya. I'm homocidal at least half the time myself, and enjoy my quality time alone immensely! (and still love my troublemaker, but thank goodness retirement is still a couple of decades away!)

Oh man! Don't we all know how this feels? Guy totally gets on my nerves sometimes too. I swear they have PMS as much as we do OR WORSE. Also, Guy is deaf in one ear. I can never win. His pet peeve is that I call him from across the house (am too lazy to get up and walk over there -- usually, I can't which is why I'm calling for his assistance DUH!). If I don't call loud enough he gets annoyed when I say "I've been calling you!" but if I DO call loud enough he gets annoyed because I'm "yelling." GODDAMN. ha ha ha ha

my dh also seems to not hear me a lot of the time and I get irritated repeating myself all of the time. Another irritating thing he does is often say half sentences so you are left to guess the other half or kept in suspense until he finishes it. Oh another thing - he is Mr Orderley and I am Madam Chaos and so he points out almost every chaotic thing I do or every little thing I forget to do - so yes, he can be pretty irritating. I am glad he doesn't do the road rage thing though cos my dad did that and it used to drive me nuts - but he does sometimes comment about absent minded women drivers.

LOL, I think it must be some world-wide phenomenon, because not only has my hubby been driving me batty, but the several ladies at work and I have a pact to be each others alibi should we be unable to control to the "husband-killing" urge.

How can the person you love the most make you so crazy?!

Thank goodness Scott goes back to work this week or he'd be THROWN out. I love him to pieces, but this together ALL THE TIME stuff is killing me!

OMG - Marko and my Hub must have been twins separated at birth. What is with the driving??? We're moving from a small town to a city this year and I've already warned him I may stop getting in the car with him. When he can't hear you, does he tell you that it is because you aren't speaking loud enough/clearly/in his direction?

Hang in there, T. Holidays are almost over. Just in case though, make sure you have a body-disposal back up plan.

T- You have perfectly described my DH! SO tense about the traffic, EVERY time it is "Why don't these people go home?!" "Assholes!!!" and just can't relax. ESPECIALLY at the airport--can't tell you how many fights we have gotten into at airports pickups or drop-offs because he is so overwrought and tense and pissed off he moves the car forward while I am trying to get into it or refuses to get out to help me with my bag or generally acts like a jerk because the airport is zapping him with its man-repelling rays. Probably a common trait with men. I wonder: If I can relax about traffic, why can't I relax about him not relaxing...?

Kill 'em. Kill 'em all. Husbands. Must. Die.

My husband likes to leave out key words when he asks me something, and he also mumbles. Then when I fail to read his mind and decipher the mumbles, suddenly I am a terrible wife and listener put on this earth just to piss him off? Feh. Then comes the yelling and the mutual insistence on oneself being right and one's spouse being so, so wrong. It's a lovely pattern, and we find it works quite well for us.

Just another thought - could he possibly have a problem separating frequencies or - as soon as there is more than one sound he finds it hard to separate them and instead just hears a 'noise'. My dh has that and when he had his ears tested they said his hearing was great as far as he could hear sounds but the problem is when there are various sounds. The doctor said it is not that uncommon and more common in men. Women are better at separating the different sounds and can do things like listen to music, follow a t.v programme and follow a conversation in the same room.

Exactly so here with the hearing and the driving. I try not to bitch and nag but the other day I blurted out that I was tired of my husband's driving every other car on the street except ours. Constant, constant commentary on what jerks all the other drivers are. I drive as much as possible for that reason.

And he'll break into a conversation I'm having with our daughter - "What? What?" If you're interested, listen from word one. If I stop to explain what we're talking about, his attention drifts back to his book or the newspaper, mid-sentence. So I usually don't bother, which I know is rude.

And yes, I am scheduled for PMS exactly now, and that's another thing. I am waiting for the studies that will show that women's pheromones when they are premenstrual cause men in the vicinity to turn into idiots or jerks. Really. There have been so many times that I have wanted to "speak" to my husband about his behavior, but knowing I was premenstrual decided to put it off until he demonstrated it again when I was not, and finally realized he ONLY acted that way when I have PMS. Not fair, because when I feel bitchy I do him and the kid the favor of taking my book into the bedroom and shutting the door so I won't be inflicting it on them.

Boy, T, I think you opened a can of them squirmy things.

Ha ha, it is called Selective Hearing. Both my husband and dog (he is male too) have it. Their ears only seem to function when you don't want them to! God forbid you are asking them to do something important, they NEVER hear that! Thanks for the laugh, I really needed one today.

It MUST be a Y chromosome thing. My husband is very much like that too. And yet we love them dearly. We are insane, but I guess we also like life interesting, eh?

Well Orange said pretty much what I was going to say, and I was talking about this with my aunt who has the same problem with her husband (being home for the holidays, quantity time), and she said "oh my god what if my husband RETIRES?
I personally had never considered that, and with our finances being what they are it will probably never be an issue here, but...yikes.

This is definitely a world-wide phenomenon. Here I am, thousands of miles away, basically married to the same man as the rest of you! ;-) Driving is definitely the worst, though. DH & I used to commute together -- what a nightmare! Thank God he got transferred to another building, I would have come very close to killing him otherwise.

Marko sounds just like my DH - love him but also wantto kill him :)

I agree, it must be a male thing. Today I was trying to get the house striaghtened up a little and he was watching TV (I'm pretty sure this compounds the problem)I must have asked him 5 times to come and pick up his hunting stuff before he actually reponded to me. However, if I would have said Jake, would you like the last cookie? I could have whispered it and he would have been up off that couch and into that kitchen before I could blink!! MEN!!

Didn't you know that the definition of marriage is finding the ONE you want to annoy for the rest of your life???

My 3 yr old daughter just asked me when I was driving, "hey, where are all the idiots?". Is my DH a roadrageaholic, um yeah!

You are not alone. It is time for everyone to go back to work/school/day/home care!!

Heh heh heh... as I read that post, I was listening to my husband bellowing about something in the kitchen. I am sitting here at the computer, typing away, pretending I don`t hear him, and it`s driving him insane, dum dee dum dee dum...

Let him come and speak to me in a civil tone and maybe -- MAYBE -- I`ll answer.

I swear men do things on purpose to annoy us woman kind. Mine is not bad at an airport or hospital, but my BIGGEST peev with him, is when we are having guests round. For some reason once I have finished cleaning the ENTIRE house, he will then have to start fixing something....10 minutes before our guests arrive, and that leads to more mess!!...What´s up with that??

I didn't realize my husband had a 2nd family in South Africa.

Yes, must be something on the Y chromosome. My 2 year old started using "son of a bitch!" (gramatically) appropriately in conversation thanks to daddy's road rage. DH is back at work today and I am SO very pleased to have the day off.

"...as I read that post, I was listening to my husband bellowing about something in the kitchen. I am sitting here at the computer, typing away..."


"For some reason once I have finished cleaning the ENTIRE house, he will then have to start fixing something..."


I wonder what our husbands would say if they had this conversation. Mine would say, "Laura always..." and your husbands would all say, "My wife does that too! Drives me nuts!" "Same here!"

Sometimes they just need a good kick in the pants!

I realize now, too late, that holidays with children and family should be kept to a maximum duration of about four days. I don't dare complain about my husband, because he is way too good for me, but I think in our time away from work and most importantly away from daycare, I've finally managed to irritate him to the point of snappishness, at least.

Whahahahaha. So it's NOT just me. Thought it was his failing hearing apparatus but NO - it's a guy thing. I have to repeat everything about THREE times. Drives. Me. Insane. Falala. Can we go back to work yet?

My wife pretty much says the same thing about me (I overheard her on the phone; didn't supposed to hear ;) ) ....

My response to her, as I am sure your husband's response to you:

*think of the word... "Looney"*

Yep, it's the Y chromosome.
I shudder to think what we'll happen when we're both retired...

Hahaha! Tertia, Marko sounds so much like Martin! But you forgot to mention Saturday Mornings at the mall when you cant find parking! The rage from my man is SO huge!!! He drives around like a maniac, (The kids saying "WEEeeEEEE!!!") in the back seat, and me getting more and more annoyed. Then he wonders why I just dont ignore him!!!

I love him dearly.. Im his opposite, so we balance, but Im sure I have to forgive more from him than he does from me!!!

You have your replacement waiting. And remember, I'm deaf ALL the time.

Jacqui & Laura, I think I figured out why they start fixing something 10 minutes before guests arrive...so they can look like they are just such wonderful husbands doing everything for you! Makes me want to scream into my wine glass.


Mine annoys me on purpose. He told me so. "We're married, so I get to annoy you for always!"

For the rest of *his* life maybe...

Did you notice the sheer volume of comments on this post? Holymotherofgod!

My husband is a pilot, and is anal retentive to a T. I think the problem with men like this is that they simply cannot understand why others don't think or do like they do. Because, you know, they are perfect. ;)

Ah, there's nothing like the sweet presence of a loved one for 24 hours a day, seven days a week to make you want to select retirement lawn furniture together. Said furniture intended, of course, to allow you to set (yes, set) side by side on your front lawn and take your overboiling rage at each other out on passers by. With pellet guns*.

*important editorial note: the two of you would be in possession of the pellet guns. Not the passers by. Because that would make it less tension release, ya see.

eh, it's not the Y chromosome, ladies. There are none of those present in my relationship, yet the same problems persist. Especially the one where I'm "not talking in her direction".

Do y'all have the one where s/he stands directly in front of the TV, moving when you crane your neck to see around her/him, and says nothing... just because s/he wants attention? No? That's just my girlfriend, then...

(I'm the bad traveller, though, since I travel constantly for work and therefore dawdling in the airport or not knowing where to go is an Unforgivable Sin.)

Ho ho ho. You are definitely not Robinson Crusoe here. Nobody, but nobody, is as annoying, enraging and just downright bloody irritating as my partner, even though I love him dearly. Many, many are the times I would love nothing better than to kick him down the stairs of our top-floor flat!
Actually, couples apparently denied to be uniquely annoying to each other is so common that I think it must serve some evolutionary purpose: tidy people with messy people, hot tempered with calm, structured with chaotic, etc. Maybe nature is trying to achieve a beautiful middle ground with their children??


My husband is driving me crazy, I think I want a divorce. How can this be when I love him so much.


It seems like a lot women here are nagging and complaining about thier husband. Yes it's true we are sometimes be an ass to everyone. But do you ever sit down and think about your behavior? Your attitude? Your selfish attitude but yet trying to portray that you're very generous? Blaming on PMS / hormone or whatsoever.....sometimes I think you all need to grow up. Think about your man's feeling. They have feeling too. The world don't spin just around you! Think about their responsiblity and stress. Understanding that is key to a successful marriage. It's not just my way or I am right but our way and noone is right in this situation.
think about it, before you started to yelling and screaming at him. This is why a lot marriage failed. Miscommunication!

Good grief. This is the funniest thing I've seen in days. YES! Men totally turn into idiots when we have PMS. My theory is that 3 out of 4 weeks a month, we do all the crap we have to in order for the houses/children/husband to survive. The fourth week is OURS! We are finally able to stand up and scream, "YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH IT ANY MORE!!!"

OMG!! I have found my home! I can't believe there is a forum for how I am feeling! I just typed in "My husband is driving me crazy" to let off a little steam. The man has been retired now for a couple of years, and is now interested in EVERYTHING! Roadrage is at an all time high, "no one in ___(insert state..any state) knows how to drive..(insert exploitives @#$!#%)"
Makes me repeat everything, thinks I am whispering if I am talking to either teenager but when he finds out what we are talking about..nothing
Has turned into the housewife...I will admit, I liked it at first. BUT I NEED SPACE! I am a happy person....right? love my husband...right? don't like screaming...right? I think all these guys have wayyyyy to much time on their hands...
Oh, of course he is anal! Retired military...ps hubby, kids did not enlist....
Anyone feel my pain?

You women aren't all that easy to live with either. The idea that you can kick him out o his own house or that guys actually let women make them sleep on the couch. If you don't like it, you go. Men bust their asses working to pay the bills, all the while getting blasted for not spending time with the kids. As if we are supposed to take a part time job to spend time with the kids like you do and you wouldn't call us bums for not making enough to pay for your suburban, and for you to go have coffee with the girls, and girls night out, and watch your damn soap operas... Women have more free time tha men do and they want us to come home and help them get the stuff done that they didn't do during the day so they can have even more free time. Men aren't the problem. Compromise, understanding, and respect are. Give your man the respect he deserves and needs, help him once in a while with the lawn or the trees, and maybe you will get help with the dishes, clothes, flowers, etc. Women have responsibilities in relationshipd too. It's not just supposed to be the men catering to the women.

I often ignore my wife. You want to know why? Because she is constantly demanding my attention for garbage that she could do perfectly well on her own. She wants me to do something for her. Then she demands that I do it her way. I am not talking about something that method-specific. I'm talking about something that is end result specific. Women want it their way and they want the man to capitulate in every aspect. If it not for this insufferable nagging, our hearing would improve. My god it becomes a constant round of honey-do chores, when all we want to do is stop and rest. There are times when you need something and that is okay. But, you will never have any idea how often we could use your help but never ask because we know you're occupied or even resting. My father brought me up with a firm understanding of how to respect women. I was hoping I would get the opportunity to do so in my marriage as well. However, sometimes I need her to leave me alone.

Men don't listen to you because too often you speak TOOOOOO much.
And we don't give a crap about what Oprah has to say! Please don't punish us with the details. If your husband doesn't help with the house or chores...I feel for you. My problem is the exact opposite. I can't get my wife to do anything around the house except laundry (usually because someones out of clean...). How about a little reciprocation?

im so glad i came across this web site, i thought that i was alone. my man never hears anyhting i say to him i feel like im talking to a wall. and then when i get mad he wants to kiss my ass, well he can.because i can talk out of my ass and he still wont hear me all you girls are the bomb

Thank you ladies! I've likely spent $1000 and at least a full month in time, listening to G and helping him get ready for this f*cking trip to hike the John Muir trail in CA (and LEAVE ME ALONE during that time) and he's finally decided, after we worked most of last night changing everything one more time, that he's not going. Granted he's had back problems and gut problems and United Airways caused this last problem but I needed to vent and laugh or something BEFORE I get on the interstate and drive home to hear him ask me, "what's for dinner" and go on and on and on again about this f*cking trip! He's calling me even now (ohGodhelpme!)

I found this cleansing!

I agree with all of you, I have only been married for a couple of years and my husband thinks he is God! He is an a complete jerk and makes me feel like its all my fault! He is very degrading most of the time and complains constantly!

I'm seriously thinking about divorcing my husband. Its so weired - around other people he appears to be the perfect husband and he treats everyone else with such respect and is so nice and helpful to the end - he's do anything to help a neighbour or anybody for that matter - but when I ask him to sit with me a bit - he can't do that - I must "wait" until he's ready - then when he starts talking about the biggest lot of rubbish on this planet all I hear is "wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah f..c, wah wah wah, f..c" and I just sign off and hear this drone in my ear! He continuously tells me how he does EVERYTHING and I do nothing - meanwhile - he does a lot of the physical stuff and I do all the mental stuff and I'm continually on the computer for quotes etc (we're building our house) and saving us thousands and thousands of rands - but I get no appreciation for anything I do. Even when I get the contractors around to come and see me - he takes over the conversation and when I ask the contractor questions he (my hubby) answers them - I swear if I wanted him to answer the questions I wouldn't have gotten the contractor over. He tries to finish my sentences even when he doesn't know what I'm going to say. He starts sentences - leaves them hanging half way in the air and expects me to read his mind about what he was thinking!!!!! I think I hate him. He makes me incredibly sad. When I show him things about the house we're building because I think its not right, etc - he goes into a huge rant and rave about it - but if I didn't mention it? what then? Must we just make do with bad workmanship? He's so busy doing things all over the house that everything is half-finished - nothing gets done! I hate him! But I also love him! Help!

I can't believe it! I thought I was the only one! I have to repeat EVERYTHING at least twice in order for my husband to hear me. I got so irritated the other day that I just started saying everything twice, before he could ask "huh?" or "what?". Another thing that makes me want to put his head through a wall is if I ever want to go out with the girls for dinner or to just get together, he gives me the -- "I don't like you out at night driving, I worry about you". BUT if one of the kids needs to be driven somewhere, or picked up from somewhere...do you think he is going to get off the couch to do it? NO! I do it. Even if it's at 11:00 at night in a snow storm! Lazy shit head!

Oh THANK U GOD 4 THIS SITE..!!!! I,m tellin u ladies, i JUST found out 2-day that my husband is NOW Full- time Retired. I use 2 bitch when he worked days due 2 the fact i,d no sooner get up, get a few things done & here he,d come. NOW it,s gonna be 24/7 ' GOD HELP ME, but MORE-SO HIM. !! And i do know that would have 2 come under temporarily INSANITY !! If he makes me anymore "CRAZY".

Good Gawd, woman! I believe we are married to the same man! Let me know if you need help burying the body ;-)

My husband showed up at the Bank here in town where we live & also he called when I was at the store shopping at Wal Marts one night. Then he checked on me saomewhere else here in town too. I have never cheated on him, so why is he doing this? He is home about ALL the time...he is disabled in his back & gets an income from that. I am around him about ALL the time!!! I am going crazy from being with him constantly!!! He seems like he is "possessive" with me! I HATE THIS MARRIAGE!!! I DONT LOVE HIM ANYMORE EITHER. HE CHEATED ON ME ON THE INTERNET & THE HORRIBLE THINGS HE SAID TO ME PLUS THE WAY HE HAS BEEN DOING REALLY MAKES ME WHEERE I JUST HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE.I am searching for a job but they are SO HARD TO FIND!!! Plus he's like a lot of other men,...he only "hears" what he wants o hear.

well mine cant hear me see me come home with anything he offers to get me at the shop, gets so drunk i end up looking after him and the kids at a party, gets angry and mean at me when im angry with him. has never taken a photo of me and my kids. Has not done a single thing ever that iv asked or wanted him to do.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh did i mention gets angry when im upset and crying out for him to understand acts like he just doesnt get it laughs at me then plays the victim and goes to bed on an arguement after telling me how awfull i am and wakes up the next day says hi honey is there anything you want from the shop while im out...........sometimes its so bad i feel like jumping off a cliff

SELECTIVE HEARING- Yes, my husband has it and if things get too heated while communicating he scats away stating he can't handle this conversation. I think the hearing is fine when you say I love you honey, what do you want for breakfast or would you like a cup of coffee. It's the detail of the important things that he cannot tolerate such as finances or lack of appreciation as a wife and mother.

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