Mothering 101

This mothering shit is hard. I always thought all you had to do was just love, feed and clothe your kids. But no, apparently not.

Just been reading a twins bulletin board and there were a few posts about stopping bottles and moving on to sippy cups at around this age. WTF!!! I’m supposed to stop giving them bottles? When??? Why???  No one told me that!

It sometimes seems like motherhood is a never-ending set of pass / fail points and not only did I not study the right subject, but I never even knew that there was an exam to be written. Just as I get the one thing right there is another test to be done.

I’m probably doing them irreparable harm by giving them bottles instead of sippy cups. They will fail at math or something because their mother never knew to transition from bottles to sippy cups at exactly 10.5 months.

Took the kids to the Paed yesterday, a blog reader expressed concern that Adam’s one eye looked slightly squint and also because I wanted to talk about Kate not crawling.

Adam’s eyes are completely fine but Kate has to go to OT because she should be crawling by now.

Sigh.

The Dr says she seems perfectly ok, she just needs a bit of OT to get her on her way.

In all other ways she seems fine, she is a real little show pony, we make her do tricks all the time. We have a sequence: clap handies, then dancey dancey, then whistle (all of which she does so cutely), then ‘what does a lion say’ etc. She is just NOT crawling. She loves sitting on her cute little butt playing with her toys.

It depresses me slightly. I’m sure she’s fine, but of course you want the best for your kids and it worries me that she might suffer in future in any way.

Good news is that they are both on the 90^th percentile for weight and just over the 90^th percentile for height. So they are nice tall, strong babies. Amazingly enough they weigh exactly the same and are the exact same length. Adam’s head is just a cm bigger. 

I suppose I need to go and read ‘What to Expect – The First Year’ – brush up on my mothering skills so that I can pass the exam.

It’s 8:21 pm. I’m going to bed. It’s been a long week. Feeling a bit miz. Not sure why. Will be fine tomorrow.

Comments

[carolina]

can u help me? I want to create a blog like this but with my personal opinion of everything...how can I do it? what page it's your host??

[Suzanne]

I wouldn't worry about getting rid of bottles at this point. I would start offering them sippys of water in between bottles to get them used to them and slowly transition them to all sippys. Just like weaning from the breast, it's best to do it slowly and gently. ;)

And I wouldn't worry to much about Kate. I have a friend whose baby (oddly enough, named Katy) who didn' crawl until close to a year? She just wasn't interested at all. She didn't seem interested in walking either and finally did that at around 17 or 18 months old. :)

Some babies NEVER crawl, they just stand up one day and start walking. Crazy, huh?

This mothering gig is hard. Don't worry, you are doing an awesome job.

[carolina]

thanks you're very kind! see ya!

[julesd]

I also have boy/girl twins, 15 months old. I wouldn't worry so much about the sippy cup thing. We transitioned really slowly with the bottle to cup thing.. ie: sippy cup at meal times and bottle before bed. Trying not to force the issue on anything, taking the laid back attitude and I'm finding that my twins are doing it when they decide that they are ready. My little girl didn't start crawling until she was about a year (even with Physio therapy) and shortly after the crawling, came the walking.

I think that giving your kids the tools and pointing them in the right direction is the best we do for them at this point. Your twins look great, and you are doing great with them.

Could you post where the twins bulletin board is? Would like to compare notes with others as well.

[Bridgette]

Kelsey had her bottle til her 2nd birthday. She LOVED her bottle. I actually had to throw them away in order to break her. She is now 16, an A B student, and fairly well adjusted. If I didn't f*ck her up, you're safe my dear.

You're always going to be doing something wrong according to others, so please try not to worry about it. I breastfed Jonny for 16 months, and bottle fed Kelsey. Jonny has a binky, Kelsey really never took to hers. All kids are different and all parenting is different. That doesn't make it wrong.

[KimN]

I know what you mean. My 10.5 month old son is still not crawling either. I asked the ped about it a few weeks ago and he said not to worry, that as long as he's learning new things I shouldn't be concerned. Still, I wish he would crawl already.

I always feel like I'm failing at this parenting thing as well. Ugh!

[Tatiana]

Don't listen too much stuff! Every one is different. My daughter NEVER crawled, she started walking at 11 months. And she is the best in her class in Maths (apparently SA doctors have theory about crawling and Maths :) ). My son still sips his bottle when it comes to milk and I do not mind.
Good luck, Mother!

[Em]

Really, the stuff they will eventually do on their own, I try not to obsess over ("try" being the key word). Its good that you had Kate checked out but now that you know she is ok, know that she will eventually crawl (or head straight for walking). The bottles - they won't still have them when they are 16 no matter what you do. I would try offering them the sippy but for my kids, the rule was, when I thought they started to look stupid, I would work more seriously on transitioning. For bottles it was around 2 or so and pacifiers a little older (because it was a little harder). Because there is a point where you look at them and say, "you look ridiculous with that thing" but 10 months isn't it, I don't think.

Good Luck. You are doing great!

[wix]

from friends who are degreed in early childhood education, i learned that babies who master crawling are more likely to have success as readers--or rather, reading will come more easily to them--however, i am not sure if this is widely accepted but outdated science, or if there have been any recent studies to prove or refute this claim. kate may just need a little extra motivation to begin crawling, i.e., put her toys just out of her reach so that she learns to move to get to them, instead of anticipating her wants and bringing the toys to her hands or immediate surroundings. i'm sure she'll do beautifully once she gets a little help, being so strong and otherwise on the nickel.

re sippy cups: there is a point that, if the idea of them drinking out of a bottle for a long time bothers you, you will need to begin to make the transition. if you don't much care one way or the other how long they use a bottle, i wouldn't worry about it. anectdotally, the cut-off between accepting the end of bottle days and wanting to hang on to bottle days seems to be about 11-13 mos.

there are some wonderful transitional cups here in the states that moxie has recommended: Nuby No-Spill Sippy Gripper. but what adam and kate will like and take may be something else, and each of them may prefer a different type of cup. we liked the avent 'winged' cups and now we've moved on to some soft straw cups.

you adore your babies and it shows. you're doing a fantastic job, and i think that all of us moms feel that we pass some tests with flying colors and fail some others spectacularly. CX is almost 19 mos old, and he's already had to get stitches (fell on the flagstones in our garden and cut himself just below his brow, we rushed him to the ER all three covered in blood and crying), and just the other night we inadvertently put him to bed while he was hungry. on the other hand, he is (according to his nursery school teacher) doing unusually well with his vocabulary and pronounciation.

[k]

Just to reiterate what everyone else above said, don't worry about exactly "when" you do all of that stuff. It REALLY doesn't matter.

I am still surprised now with our 2 1/2 year old when someone will tell me something like, "Oh, *our* 2 1/2 year old washes his own hair in the bathtub!" And I think, "Huh, I never even thought of ASKING my kid to wash his own hair."

For me, that's what it is a lot of the time ... it's just that I never really THOUGHT of "moving to a sippy cup," "transitioning from highchair to booster seat," "asking the kid to wash his own hair." Do you get what I'm saying? It's not that the kid can't do it (or that your kids can't do it), it's just that maybe we're not really ready for that at our house. We move at our own pace. And we get to all of those steps when we're ready (didn't get rid of the last bottle until 15 months, in fact).

Which is why I say don't worry about exactly "when." You'll get to it when you get to it.

[Katy]

Ack I know what you mean it's like a massive long race where everyone is trying to be at the front and there's these horrible tests. Just like school. And I've only got one to worry about! I think your babes are scrumptious and Miss Kate has exactly the right idea. Sit on her bum and make Mummy bring things to her!

[Veronika]

Just do what works for you. My neighbor's son has never had a sippy. Ever. He drank from his bottle until he was 2 1/2 and when he wasn't drinking from that, he was drinking from a normal cup. I worried my ass off about my son not sitting until he was close to 9 months old, but was way too lazy to take him to the doctor. I just figured that he had to do it some time and all I had to do was wait. He was sailing around on his belly way before he could even sit upright. Then, between 9 and 11 months, he got the hang of sitting, actual crawling and walking - all before his first birthday.

As for the math and crawling theory, my G.P. told me that her dad used to say there were two kinds of cum: cum laude and cum deur. Only one mattered. (Makes a whole lot more sense if you understand Afrikaans)

[Stefanie]

Don't worry about the bottles. My ped said around 1. My kids were 26 and 35 months when we got rid of the last night time bottle and they are fine.

Kate may decide crawling is for the birds and just start walking. She's fine - we all know that!

Big hugs to you.

[Bec (and Charlotte)]

HI Tertia,

My eldest daughter had a bottle till she was 3 and a dummy (or do you call it a pacifier) until she was 4, she is now 19 (yes I have a 19 year old and a 4 year old) and she is at University getting Distiction's and High Distiction's. In the end (I agree you do need to monitor milestones) they will be crawling, walking, sleeping through the night and feeding them selves by the time they walk down the aisle.

Don't stress girl - go with what you are comfortable with.

[DD]

I'm going to try stating this in a way that won't cause WWIII: Sippys vs. Bottles, but it's more than what feels "right" for your family; it has to do a little with the physical development of the gums/teeth. Extended "sucking" (past 2-3 yrs) can do a number on said gums/teeth. The time frame Wix mentioned for the transition would be ideal. Also, to get them liking the sippy cup, you would put their favorite beverages in them and delegate the bottles to water.

This is just my assvice. No gospel here.

[Bethany]

For crying out loud... do it in your own time! :-) Bottles, Sippy Cups, real cups-- doesn't matter. And at some point, they are going to WANT to drink out of the same type of cup as you do (my son was all about a cup with a straw for that matter).

And crawling? ROTFL! My intelligent one, just skipped crawling and started walking. So, don't worry yourself one little bit. ;-) You're doing GREAT!

[cursingmama]

Fuckerama are people really still having the bottle/sippy cup argument - guilt thing? I would've thought they'd find a new topic by now, last I heard about it Princess was 1 (9 years ago).
For Princess we skipped the sippy entirely and went straight to a real cup at 1 year and she can multiply and divide.
Gameboy had a sippy from about 10 mos until he was 2 and can also multiply and divide. So I wouldn't worry about the math thing.

[Beachgal]

You've gotten such good comments already, I feel like I'm just repeating. Some babies just DO NOT crawl. End of story. We took our son's paci away at around 12 months, just because I was tired of seeing him with it in his mouth. Absolutely NO trauma. He never asked for it again. Sippy cups started around 15 months, with some bottles here and there. Easy transition off the bottle at 18 months when he had a stomach bug and couldn't have milk. Once he was better, I just never gave him a bottle again, everything in a sippy. He's 2 now, still uses a sippy, or something with a straw and can use a real cup, but he loves his sippy. Don't fret about it, things will go right when you are ready and when THEY are ready. You should know by now you can't force those kids to do much they don't want to. You're a great mom, we can all see that.
Ok, leaving work now, have a good weekend.

[Malone]

I'm surprised about the OT for crawling. My 10.5 month old also has no interest in crawling and my ped is not worried. In fact, my ped said she may not ever crawl. The Denver Developmental test, which is the standard here, doesn't even have crawling on it b/c so many babies never crawl - just straight to cruising and walking.

I just consider that I get a few extra trips to the bathroom for free!

[Jamie]

No worries, Tertia. I'm 26 and I still prefer sitting on my butt to crawling around, or even walking for that matter. You go get 'em, Katie!

[Menita]

I never crawled - just got up and started walking at 11 and 12 months and just look at how astonishingly talented I am. See?

[Menita]

BTW, Karen posted on Alex's transition to cups-only today...and Alex is rockin'!
(see http://www.chookooloonks.com/chookooloonks/)

[Jenn in AK]

Screw What to Expect - I hate those books. As for the bottle, Bekah gave hers up on her own around 16 months. Just start offering a sippy of milk or something before bed or whenever they have their bottles. Not a big deal. With Kate not crawling, Bekah started crawling at 10.5 months and only because her great grandma said her name. As soon as Granny said her name, Bekah looked at her and beat a path to me. My mom looked at me with her mouth open! It was the first time Bekah had crawled. We did it twice more - then Gr. Granny started getting a complex. Kate will be fine. (((Hugs to you)))

Oh, and on the lost manuscript, yes Microsoft fucking SUCKS!

Jenn

[Jill]

I wouldn't worry about Kate. It's obvious already that she is extrememly intelligent.

My nieces never crawled. They scooted or rolled around to get places. Their ped told bro and SIL it was because they spent so little time on their stomachs b/c of fear of SIDS and that there are fewer and fewer babies crawling these days b/c of this. Also they had tile and wood floors that are not as comfortable to crawl on. They scooch along and then eventually pull themselves up to start walking. At least in this hemisphere. : )

[Felicity]

As everyone here has said, I think your babies are doing great. All children are different, and do things in their own time. You are their Mum, you know when things are wrong... its that 'Maternal Instinct' thing kicking in! Otherwise, do things YOUR way!

My Twins used their bottles for Milk and Milo for ages.. primarily because of the mess that was made if they spilt a 'sippy cup' ! And those no-drip ones arent good for milky drinks, I dont think they get clean enough, and children like to guzzle milk, not sip it!

Ned is heavier and has a bigger head than Cecilia, and he crawled, stood and walked much later than her. He also talked alot later, and only this year, at 4, has his vocabulary really kicked off. But he did it all in his own time, and he is on par with Cecilia in some things, better than her in others, and not as good in other things yet.. All children really are very different. With Twins, its just so hard not to make comparrisons!

:)

[Nopenname]

I agree with some readers on the crawling thing.

I was told by a pediatrician friend of mine that pediatric texts don't even INCLUDE crawling as a milestone anymore. That as long as the child masters some form of moving toward an object they desire (scooching, rolling, sliding on the butt, getting up and just walking) by the age of 18 months at LATEST that there's no problems.

I'm a little surprised to hear your Ped Say that.

My Internet boyfriend Dr. Greene Agrees:

http://www.drgreene.org/body.cfm?id=21&action=detail&ref=354

[Jo]

I don't give a rat's arse if my kids are on bottles longer than average, and my 4 yo still has a dummy at night. She loves it, it's her security, we'll get rid of it sooner or later. We use sippy cups for water with meals and in between bottles, with my first she gave up bottles on her own at 15 months.

On the crawling thing, just what everyone else has said. HEAPS of kids don't crawl, or crawl late. Some kids don't walk until almost 2. I'm sure Kate's fine, my neuro said as long as there is a progression of some sort, learning new things, then all is fine at this age.

Sorry about your manuscript. Oh good lord that sucks. After many fucks ups because I was too lazy to back up I got a USB hard drive thingie you just plug in, and drag and drop your files to it. No effort required, so I'm more inclined to do it!

[Jo]

PS

Re "paed" as opposed to "ped" - it's a refreshing to know that dipthongs haven't died! Or daed. Must look that up in the encyclopaedia...

[heather d]

I didn't read the whole comments section, so I am sure I am echoing other folks, but here goes anyway. Crawling IS NOT considered a developmental milestone. It isn't a skill we need for later in life. The developmental milestone is working to get towards objects out of reach. So, any kind of bending to reach things, scooting, rolling, etc. are the only important things to look for. It sounds like Kate is doing great developmentally from what you describe.

As for the sippy/bottle debate, I'm not sure I'm much help. I have a 10 month old who exclusively breastfeeds and has only taken a bottle 3 times. He can use a sippy cup, but I have to tip it up. We have one with straws which he can hold and get liquid from, but he spits most of it out (not sure why from that one and not the others). Anyway, I think you can lose the bottle when YOUR kids are developmentally and emotionally ready. They will show you by using the sippy better and better. I think it gets a little harder the older they get, but I've certainly heard of people using a bottle until their kids were two or older and I don't think these kids use a bottle in college or anything. Good luck and they are gorgeous babes.

[Tricia]

Funny you should mention that Mother Exam. I got a reminder about it in the form of an e-mail the other day :) I really need to pass it on...

THE MOMMY TEST

I was out walking with my 4 year old son.

He picked up something off the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that.

"Why?" my son asked.

Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.

At this point, my son looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" he beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

[amy]

You know what? It's really hard not to feel a little . . .off.. when your kid is not reaching a milestone as quickly as most other kids are. Your kids reach a certain age, and people start saying "OH, is she crawling all over the place now?" And you have to say, "Um, no." I know, my daughter did not walk until 17 months. I wasn't *really* worried about her, but it still was quite a relief when she finally decided to do it.
I have to echo all the other posters though--she will get it when she gets it. And once she does, you won't believe you ever worried about it. As for the sippy/bottle thing: my son transitioned without a peep at 12 months. My daughter took longer, and we finally got rid of the bottle at 15 months or so. No big deal.
I love your babies, T! And your blog!

[Gina]

At 10.5 months, I would not be too worried about still taking a bottle. Can you get soft rubber top sippy cups? They are a nice transition from the bottle. Every speech therapist I know says sippy's are not really any better than bottles. Better to go to a straw and then to an open cup. At meal times get them used to drinking at the table. Oh and I don't mean now either, I mean at 18 months or at 2.

From a development standpoint crawling is a milestone. It is a motor planning skill. It takes a lot of coordination to crawl. I personally would want my child to crawl. Some ideas: Get her on her tummy. Play with her on her tummy for a while. Then take a wanted toy or object and put it out of her reach. Get her to reach for it and keep putting it further away. That along with the OT you will get will get her crawling in no time. Best wishes.

[Mignon]

I've read (but have no reference) that crawling is deemed important by some because of the required right/left brain interaction (i.e. right hand, left knee). So those that crawl longer (not necessarily earlier) get more of this interaction and therefore can benefit from the cooperative use of both hemispheres.
And I totally agree with Jenn from AK. What to Expect books are shit and preachy and annoying. It's impossible to find anything in there and they're always telling me I'm doing it wrong. Screw them.

[Judy]

Like she NEEDS to crawl! She's a princess after all! Taking her to an OT can't hurt, though - they did worlds of good with my nephew when he was a stubborn crank about moving around.

And, about the bottle - don't worry about it! Do what you feel is right - want to try them on a sippy cup? Go right ahead! Don't feel like messing with them? Okey dokey! YOU ARE THE MOM. YOU GET TO MAKE YOUR RULES (okay, within reason).

You are doing a GREAT job...the proof is in the pudding (or the double dose of some sweet cutie-pies in this case!).

[Suzie-Q.]

Same exact problem here with my B/G twin 10 month olds. I keep hearing about all this stupid stuff I am supposed to (somehow) already know about my kids. I started trying sippy cups once every few weeks when they were 6 months old. Finally, now, at 10 months, Samantha is somewhat interested. Evan refuses and uses the spout to chew on like a teether. Eventually they will get it. Because mine go to day-care I am forced to teach them to use them otherwise they will never be promoted from the infants to the 1-2 year old room. (They are required to walk and be off bottles for that).
Re; crawling... I know it's so hard my friend not to compare babies when you have two. Especially when one is always more advanced in the area of gross motor skills. My Samantha also is slower than Evan. She is finally crawling, but, it took her weeks after he started. He has been pulling up, cruising and trying to stand by himself for a while. If i only had one I wouldn't even think about comparing her to other babies and when they crawl. It's just impossible when they are both right there in front of you. It makes you feel like one is retarded even though you know they are not.
Kate will be fine. The OT will give her a jump-start. My PT told me if Samantha hadn't started crawling by 9 months they would have given her some OT too.
I know how you feel and how hard it is not to have two babies doing everything perfectly and early. Just know you are not alone.
Hope it makes you feel better to know that i am also a terrible muriel mother.
:)
xoxo

[Julie]

My youngest daughter didn't crawl until she was around 13 months old, and didn't walk well until 22 months. *shrugs* You'd never know it now though, by watching her. She was just a late bloomer... And it's kind of nice, because I got my *baby* for so much longer! :)

Her doctor wanted us to call a specialist, but hubby said no. Doesn't want to see his baby girl go through anything like that. :)

I'm sure Kate is just fine! (Not to mention adorable!)

[andrea]

Ah well um my 4 1/2 year old still has a bottle!

[maia]

Oh I hated that stage of the game. All those mothers 'competing' over whose kid is most brilliant and when Johnny did this or that or whatever. It IS bloody COMPETATIVE and when the hell did parenting become a competative sport I ask you?!

That part of the game gets easier as they get older, trust me. Mind you there are still a few parents out there who are damned irritating, I just have thicker skin and years more confidence in myself as a parent. And I have learned to tune them out ;)

(As a mom to twins, you do NOT want them mobile!! My two girls did not crawl till 13 mos or walk till 14. And when they finally did it was a whole new frightening ballgame ;)

[Janine]

Oh dahling: here's something to cheer you up: James crawled before a year, but he took until 18 months to take his first step. The clinic sister thought there was something seriously wrong with him. Now? He got the equivalent of an "A" for upper body strength and climbing skills on his report.
Hannah took until 13 months to crawl and we were told by quack (sorry - paed.) that she would never walk on her own without some sort of physio. She waited until 19 months to walk, with no physio, but now she's fine.
Oh, and hahaha re the bottle thing - Hannah still enjoys a bottle at night... :) You can introduce the sippy cups slowly, but seriously, don't feel pressured to do anything too soon.

[SimmiGee]

My daughter has been diagnosed with mild hypotonia (low muscle tone) and only started crawling a couple of weeks ago, aged 13.5 months. I expect she'll be a very late walker too, based on the fact that she's still not pulling to a stand and isn't cruising. Our paediatrician has run a whole battery of tests, including tests for chromosomal abnormalities, metabolic disorders, storage diseases and lots more, all of which have come back negative. It was a harrowing time waiting for those results, as you can probably imagine. Katie obviously doesn't have hypotonia because your paediatrician would have picked up on that by now. One of the little girls in my mothers' group, who doesn't have low muscle tone, started crawling just before her first b'day. Her daddy didn't crawl until he was 15 months! I guess what I'm trying to say is that if Kate doesn't have low muscle tone (and she doesn't), then I don't think it's anything for you to worry about.

[mamamarta]

i actually think it's a big mistake to wean exclusively bottle-fed babies from the bottle, especially if they don't have some other opportunity to suck (i.e. a paci or their thumb). sucking is a very strong comfort instinct for children, and it also has an important neurological role. in the first three years of a child's life, the neurons in their brain are still forming networks, and sucking is actually an important part of developing a complex network (along with all sorts of other stimuli, such as talking/singing/reading and all the other good stuff you're doing). human beings are probably meant to nurse for several years, and i'm convinced that it's not just about nutrition, but also about sucking. i think we wean our children from sucking way too early. my daughter weaned from a bottle at 3 years old, all on her own, and my 2.5 yo son is still sucking away (on me, not a bottle, but really at this point it's all the same, since i don't have any milk left to speak of!)

as for crawling, i'm really pretty sure that it's not considered a developmental milestone. i thought that was in what to expect, but i could be wrong.

marta

[kris]

Would definitely NOT worry about sippy cups at under 1y. We introduced them at 7m and the kid didn't really start using them until over 1y--despite our best efforts. Also, to repeat what others have said--crawling isn't considered a "milestone" the way other baby skills are--some kids just never do it. Sorry you're having to deal with this-but I'm sure she's just fine.

[dawna]

I started randomly giving Aiden a sippy around 4 months old, mostly because I HATE cleaning bottles. I didn't switch him to a sippy completely until he was off of formula(a week before his first birthday) because I didn't want that nasty lumpy formula junk getting stuck in the valves for the sippy cup. I figure the best reason to switch them early(because they aren't that much different in my opinion) is just so they don't get attached to the bottle too much. If you do it just around one year old, they don't really notice. It's when they are like 2, and you just take it from them and everything goes right to hell. Do what you wanna do, to hell with the exam! They're your kids, so there.

[dawna]

After reading like two comments, I have more to say! Leak proof sippy cups require sucking. If you get the ones that have the softer tops, it really isn't that much different from a bottle. I really don't get how transitioning from a bottle to a sippy cup(that goes in their mouths and they have to suck to operate them) is really better. The only difference is the shape, it's flat. That and they can't bite the nipple off with all those razor sharp teeth.

[Jewels]

I started giving my twins cups after they turned a year, but introduced it pretty slowly. We (my dh and I) had a hard time taking away their bedtime bottle but finally did it at 16 1/2 months and the boys were perfectly fine with it. It's totally up to you when you want to do it, but I think one of the reasons for doing it earlier is so that they won't give you a hard time - it will be easier for them to forget about bottles after a day or two when they are young.

Another thing - a friend of a friend who is a speech therapist said to try to get them to take those straw sippy cups rather than the regular sippy. Something about problems with speech development and lisps or something. Since I hadn't bought any cups yet I just tried the straws. My twins took to the straws right away and it's great because if we go out and forget to bring their cups we can get them a drink anywhere because they'll just drink it from a straw. Just something else to think about. ;)

[Sarcastic Journalist]

Some kids sippy easy. Some kids, like my child, do not. There are worse things in the world than not starting the sippy out at an early age.

And the crawling? Remember they do things differently!She's not doomed to a life of special busses just yet.

[Renee]

I am sooo glad to have this blog as an educational tool! Good for you Tertia, find out all the bumps in the road, and warn us others coming up behind about things to look out for. Everything is going by so fast that I have no idea when which steps are next. Apparently Skyler now has to transition to sippy cups in 3 months...huh, did not know that. Thanks for the heads up!

[kelly]

Sometimes it is so hard - I will never forget when my doctor asked me at 8 months if they clapped. All I could think was "oh, was I supposed to actually teach them that?" I can never keep up on what we are supposed to be doing - Anna crawled late also - she just didn't seem interested. But, she then got up and walked a little bit before Eddie. Oh, and they are 16 months old today and I have bought every damn sippy cup on the market - every single one available - and the little ones just LOVE the bottle. I was all worked up about it until I realized how happy they are and how loved they are - plus, I don't think they will be drinking from a bottle in first grade so I am not going to worry about it anymore. You are doing great - I just scrolled through your photos and they are so adorable.

[Laurie]

Ack! Forget the sippy cups. Cuddling is just not the same with sippy cups. We continued our morning and night bottles until our b/g twins were...2.5 or 3? They loved it and we loved it. When you work and are gone all day, there just isn't a lot of cuddly time anyway ... keep the bottles until all of you are ready to give them up. You'll know when the time is right.
Laurie

[Suzie-Q.]

Just read Kelly's comment re; the hand clapping and I went through that too at their 8 month check-up!!! Too funny!! Also, they asked if mine can blow kisses.
Blow kisses??????????????
I say, "Blow me"!!!!!!!!
When i clap hands or blow kisses at them my twins look at me as if i am the stupidest person in the world.
And then i feel like it.
:-)

[e]

My son NEVER crawled. He is one of the fittest 12 year olds people have ever met. There is not a tree he cannot climb, a mile he cannot run, etc... My friends' twins both bum-shuffled for a year, from around this age until nearly two, when they decided walking was easier. They never crawled either. I think crawling is vastly over-rated, myself.

[e]

And French kids generally go straight from bottles to (glass) glasses at around three years of age. It's not a developmental stage, the dropping the bottle thing, as long as they're not using them for comfort like a dummy, or going to bed with them. Ignore the naysayers!

[Nicole]

OT for not crawling? Please. Let me tell you a story.

A friend of mine has a kid. He must be about 6 now.

By the time he was 18 months, he was speaking in full sentences - we're talking subject-verb-object. Sometimes the grammar messed up, but still.

At 2, his grandmother gave him a leap pad. At 3, my friend had me go over to install netnanny software on her computer because he was surfing the web. I also created a desktop folder with age-appropriate links in it. He loved it and so did my friend.

At 3, he was reading short words and doing basic addition and subtraction. It was time for him to go to pre-school. There was a problem, however.

For the life of her and her mother (she's a single mom, but has ample financial support from the father), he would not toilet train. Seriously.

So she started looking into alternative schools for him and found a Montessori school that would take him and would also provide ongoing toilet-training support at school, while she could provide it after work at home.

All kids are different. Kate seems very intelligent. Perhaps she's just waiting until she can walk - forget this crawling business.

[Amy]

Jumping in a bit late, but just wanted to let you know that my older child never crawled -- he was able to sit by the time he was 5.5 months, but never showed any interest in crawling. By 10.5 months, he was cruising the furniture, and then right before his first birthday, he started walking. Completely skipped the crawling stage.

And I know there's lots of research that supposedly crawling is supposed to help with their brain development, and children that don't crawl are slow to read (my mom LOVED to point that out to me, thanks!), but I think its crap. My son is now 4.5 and is READING on his own. He has known all of his letters for so long I can't even remember, and now knows a bunch of words, and is starting to sit and pick them out in books. The words he doesn't know he asks about. In short, not only is he not delayed in this area, but he's ahead of the curve. So screw the researchers!

So, anyway, long post for a simple point -- its easy to worry, but don't freak out too much about the crawling thing. Kate may just skip to walking.

Oh, and on sippy cups? With both of my kids I transitioned about 12 months, for the sole reason that its alot easier to take a bottle away from a placid 12 month old than from a independent and vocal 18 month old. Trust me on this one.

[Faith]

Well, Tertia, you know I had Dharma in physical therapy since 5 months, and she just had her last session last Tuesday. It's nothing to fret about. If anything, the PT or OT is fun for the baby, and another resource for the mom to learn from each week. I looked as our time doing PT as alternative Mommy and Me classes. However, I have a friend (Shari) who's second child wasn't crawling at about this same time, and she didn't worry about it since she was moving, and having a crawler at this age would have been inconvenient. I saw the baby the other day. She's about 15 months now, and she walks so beautifully. It really all does wind up okay in the long run-- whether you do too much, like I did, or just wait it out like Shari did. Just have faith Missy, it will all be okay.

[Tanya]

Hey you. Been a while. Too busy to breathe most days but wanted to give you a quick response. At about a year I transitioned from bottles for juice/water to sippy cups. Went cold turkey on that one but I kept the milk bottles until they were 2 and a bit. When they started biting their teats to pieces it was time for cups. They were old enough to understand that the teats were "broken". I also waited until now (3) before I even attempted potty training. It was a breeze. Of course I now run a weeing for sweets racket from home (1 jelly tot for a wee and 2 for a no.2). Lavender insists on giving for effort as well. Neale was also a late crawler (after 10 months I think) and a late sitter. I have figured out the little blighter was just lazy his favorite place is still my hip. xx

[Karin]

I never crawled, and I learned to read when I was four years old, so I wouldn't put too much faith in that theory. Just don't worry, Tertia - your daughter is gorgeous and divine and probably can't be bothered with that silly crawling stuff. After all, it's just not very lady-like, is it?
You're a great mother - don't worry!!!

[Carrie Jo]

Since I've been babysitting regularly for awhile now, most of them between 6 months and 3 years. There is so much variation in the ages where bottles are still used. none of the kids who are a bit older and still using bottles are any worse for the wear.

[Beth]

My nephew did not crawl until about 11 months - my sister actually had the appointment scheduled with the therapist. Then he just took off one day, too. He didn't start walking until 15 or 16 months. So - it's not unheard of or uncommon.

[Neety]

I know it's probaby too late to comment, this subject was ages ago, but I just wanted to say that as a baby, I never crawled. Nope. I sat, and then at 18 months, I walked. And that's it. And I turned out fine.
Just ask mum.

:-)