Today was a special day. My mother and I, and the babes went to go
see my fertility doctor. He works at
the hospital where I lost Luke, where I spent five weeks on bedrest trying to
save Ben. Where Ben was born. Two years ago to the day I was lying in the hospital, trying to save my son. A year ago today I was a few days away from welcoming my twins into the world.
We popped into the maternity section, to say hello to the nurses who looked after me when I was there with Ben. To show them my happily ever after.
Then we went to the clinic, the clinic where I have spent so many hours, shed so many tears. And to show my wonderful doctor the result of his hard work and perseverance.
I have done 3 IUI’s, 3 FET’s and 6 IVF’s at his clinic. With his help, I have had 116 eggs retrieved, 99 embryos have resulted from those eggs, from which I have transferred 21 embryos. I have lost 7 babies, some as early as an ectopic, some as vanishing twins, some as early miscarriages, some as late losses, and some as babies who were born and later died in my arms.
Together, him and I have endured so much pain, I know he felt it for me, with me.
I honestly don’t think I could have done it without him.
And because of him, with his help, together we made it possible for me to have my two wonderful babies, Adam and Kate.
Besides being a fantastic doctor, he is a wonderful person. A beautiful person, inside and out. He is someone I’d choose as a friend. He is funny, intelligent, kind. He sends me messages on my birthday, he sends me messages wishing me a blessed Christmas, even though his religion does not celebrate Christmas.
He means so much to me.
It was a very special moment, going there today. I had arranged an appointment for today, a quiet day. It was just before lunch and there were no fertility patients in the waiting room. The babies were all over his office, climbing up on him. He got down on the floor and played with them.
It was extra special having my mom there, because she has spent so many hours with me there.
She waited in the waiting room and she said it made her heart sing to hear the laughter in my voice and the sound of the babies playing and laughing. (They were on their best behaviour, acting as cute as hell.)
It was such a fitting final visit to a place that was the scene of such pain and disappointment to me for so long.
I am so lucky, in so many ways. I will always be eternally grateful that I managed to end up with a doctor like Dr Heylen, what a wonderful man. I owe him so very much.
I sent him this letter, to try and say thank you, but words can’t properly encapsulate the depth of my gratitude and feeling for this man.
What a man. What a journey, what a ride. What a wonderful ending.
Dear Dr H
Some day I will find the proper words to tell you how much you have meant to me over the years, and how grateful I am to you, for every thing you've done. The way you treated me made it possible for me to carry on trying for as long as I did. You kept me sane. You are what every doctor should aspire to be.
Thank for always treating me with respect.
Thank you for treating me as an intelligent, thinking adult.
Thank you for treating me as a partner in my treatment.
Thanks for your patience, when I came armed with a million questions, or when I brought the latest, greatest thing I found on Google.
Thank you for all the times you listened to my ideas and explained why they were either a good idea or why they wouldn't work.
Thank you for allowing me to email you.
Thank you for allowing me to call you at home. Thank your wife from me.
Thank you for saving my cell number on your phone, I felt very special the day you answered “hello Mrs A” when I called you. I’ll always have your number saved on my phone ;-)
Thank you for always talking to me, not at me.
Thank you for caring about me, as a person.
Thank you for always asking after my husband, thanks for thinking about him, husbands often get forgotten about.
Thank you for your kindness and compassion when Ben was born. Thanks for coming in when you were on holiday. Thank you for holding my hand. Having you there that day meant so much to me.
Thanks for sticking with me, thank you, so very much, for never giving up on me.
Thanks for being more than just my fertility doctor, you were my mind doctor and my soul doctor when I needed it.
Lastly, thank you for Adam and Kate, what wonderful gifts. If it wasn’t for you, they wouldn’t be here with me.
Thank you Dr, from the bottom of my heart. You are wonderful.
Now, before I get too sappy, go make some babies!
Your favourite patient (I know I am)