I need to get more organized. My reaction to having lots on my plate is to do lots of avoiding and procrastinating. And stressing. And stressing about not doing any thing. Which is not very productive at all.
My wheels are starting to spin a little. I have so much to do and the days are too short.
I need to be able to focus on work at work. I am not doing enough of that.
Between my braces (which have been a bit of a fuck up in that I have had to go back four fucking times to have things fixed, and now I need to go again), and Rose’s boobs (which requires lots of ferrying around, well, Rose that is, not just her boobs), the kids (taking them to my mom, to the Dr), the replacement nanny, Marko, grocery shopping etc – I have no time during the day.
The nights are just as busy and I HAVE to start writing soon. But time is so short and I have to sleep some time.
Weekends are just as hectic as it’s my only time to bond with the kids, see my family, birthday’s, shopping etc.
Poor Marko gets absolutely nothing of my time. Thank god he is totally self-sufficient and v v low maintenance.
I am starting to panic, just a little.
I need to start making lists, or rosters, or something. I need to take control. I’ve already outsourced as much of my chores as I can. There is nothing more I can outsource.
Perhaps it’s just this time of the year, or perhaps it’s that I am really feeling the writing deadlines looming. In fact it’s probably that. I *know* I should be writing, but instead I am finding a million other things to do. And it bugs me because I know that I have to deliver. Which stresses me out and makes me even less productive.
I am beginning to think perhaps I should get up an hour earlier and write then. But getting up at 4am sounds positively revolting.
Ugh! Why do I do this to myself??? I feel like I am studying again. Pressure pressure pressure. And it’s all self-inflicted you know. Sigh.