Biting

Adam has started biting us. I think his teeth are really bothering him, he has EIGHT teeth now, regular little Bugs Bunny he is. I’ve got bite marks all over my arm. I can see it’s really itchy or something and he is just looking for relief, but I don’t want him to bite his sister while I am not looking. And besides, it’s bloody sore. 

What should I do? I’ve started saying “No biting” quite firmly when he does it, and it seems to be working, I think. I’ve just started doing it. I think he’s more distracted by the (very new to him) stern tone in my voice. 

Do they understand the concept of ‘no’ already?

Any other biting tips?

And then, for your viewing pleasure, some pics.

The babes in their big boy and big girl PJ's - where have my little babies gone??!!!  They are getting so big now.

Comments

[Laura]

Try frozen bagels (but watch the kids while they eat them to make sure that they don't bite off huge chunks and choke), teething rings and frozen washcloths. I also give my son a little Tylenol and that seems to help a lot.

[Janis]

Mine bite when overly tired, teething, angry and a few other things.

I found a book at Barnes and Noble called "Teeth are not for biting." It tells why they shouldn't bite, what they can do instead as well as teaching them to problem solve without teeth. Your's might be a bit young, but the concept of the book (a very simple one) might sink in if read often enough.

When mine bite, I tell them, "Teeth are not for biting!" Sometimes they get a brief timeout. (most times actually)

I think they bite because they lack the words to express themselves. Factor in that biting feels good when teething or for releasing stress and it is a hard habit to break.

Hell, I'm 39 and I still like to bite at times. :)

Good luck!

[wookie]

At this point, while they might not "understand" that they are hurting you, they understand "no", they just don't remember it from one minute to the next.

Whatever you choose to do to handle it, just do it consistently, all the time, every time.
Our daycare used consistent "We do not bite our friends!" and short timeouts, it was quite successful. At this age, providing a more appropriate toy to bite afterwards is a good idea too, if they're biting from pain/need rather than stress/not having words.

[Felicity]

Your little ones are beautiful. :)

Im not sure about the biting, other than giving him lots and lots of stuff to chew on! Rusks, teething rings and toys. My Twins used to bite my nipples when breastfeeding as their teeth came, and it HURT! I used to scream, and that noise startled them.. they eventually stopped.

At 4.5 years, 'no' still doesnt mean alot to them, so Im not sure how you will go getting babies to understand it! lol. :)

[blackbird]

gosh they look older...
and beautiful always.
I think you should be stern with him, say NO BITING and offer him a chewy thing.

[Sarah]

We went through this too, and the bad part with twins is when they bite each other.

At the time, anyone that bit anyone went straight to "Time Out", even though they were pretty little. They sort of understood it, they same way they kind of understood "no biting". We bought those little teething bags and put ice in them... and that helped a little bit.

My savior was Humphries #3 teething tablets. They are all natural (if you care about that kind of thing) and worked pretty well.

Eventually they grew out of it, and now they only bite when they are really really tired.

[Jo]

Cute kiddies!!

I've seen two things work with babies. One is the "No biting!" and to put the baby down (ie withdraw attention). I guess it's a bit like a modified time out, your bubs are too young for T.O. (hey we don't want to cause massive psychological damage here ;) ) but old enough to start learning what no means, in the kindest possible way.

The method we used with our daughter (who seemed to understand logic from a young age, would never work with our son) was to say "We don't bite people, we bite food" and offer something instead. When my daughter got older we used this a bit and she really responded to it. "We don't draw on walls. What could you draw on instead?" and she's think and say "paper" and we'd find some paper.

But for some kids, this approach is waaaay too soft - so I'd go with what works for your little man. The no thing seems to be getting through a bit, so keep it up! It's all pretty normal and most kids seem to grow out of it.

Also, as a girl who was beaten up by her brother and whose mother used to say "I'm not getting involved! Sort it out yourselves" - it's good that you're looking out for Kate (or Adam I'm sure, when the need arises!). I think young ones are just too little to "sort it out" themselves and they end up with a Lord of the Flies situation.

[Tessy]

I don't want to sound preachy in any way, but (don't you love the "but") the railing on their cot seems too low to me. Once the pull up they can very easily topple over it onto the floor. It should be at armpit level or higher when they stand. (Maybe it's my own paranoia?)

Love the pics! Don't they grow so fast?

[DD]

Continue with the "No Biting" to the biter and then show immediate sympathy to the bitee. That way the biter will see that the inappropriate behavior will not be rewarded by extra attention. And yes, yes they do already understand NO at this age.

[ninotchka]

so so cute!

[Judy]

Tyler is a HUGE biter, had teeth at 2.5 months and by a year had 16. It isn't a bowl of cherries, either. I'm the only one he bites, though. So, when he chomps down, I pry his little jaw off of me (because he is in lock mode, people), sternly say NO, and then I give him something that is appropriate to chew on. It works well for him. We're down to biting about 2 - 3 times a week at most, but for a while there, it was several times a day.

Tyler definitely understands "no" at 12.5 months. If you tell him "no", he'll stop doing whatever it is he's doing, or he'll look back at you with that "the hell you say!" grin and do it anyway! And, when he doesn't want something - a drink, food, a particular book or toy, to go to bed, whatever, then he shakes his head "no".

Good luck!

[Lindsey]

Don't let the bugger fool you, he knows exactly what "No" means. (My 8-month-old had to grasp it by 6 months b/c of my glasses!)It doesn't mean he's going to listen, though! LOL!!

[Dani]

Oh, Tertia... they are getting so big! I am enjoying watching them grow. :)

Youngest was a biter. With him, it seemed to be that he liked the loud reaction, be it a negative one. I found that if I kept the reaction to a minimum with only a simple "No!" and wagging my finger at him, he wouldn't go back for a second bite.

If Tessy is paranoid, then so am I because I was going to say the same thing about the crib (cot) height. (I sell baby furniture so I couldn't help but notice!) Can you lower the mattress? Just looking out for you and the babes, dahling! ;)

(See what happens when you don't put a disclaimer about not wanting assvice unless you are soliciting it? ;) )

[MJ]

Well I have never posted before but thought this might help. I don't have any children but my mother swears by biting back. Not hard or anything, but just enough so they get the message that biting hurts. Family friends have taken this advise and it worked. I am in no way advocating abusing your children or using this technique for other things (such as no hitting), but often times even though a babe knows not to bite themself hard, they don't understand what being bitten by someone else feels like. Do not know if this technique works for older children. Well anyways, that is what my mother used on me and I am not too demented. Also really works for pinching. I hate pinching.

[Joan]

Hi Tertia, Just stopping to say that your babes are absolutely gordeous, cute and so, so expressive. I love the picture of Kate and Marco sitting together on the couch. He looks like he is talking to her about the male phoenomenia of channel surfing. No big advice about teething..it will pass.

Joan in TX

P.S.. I totally "get" your sense of humor...thanks for the laughs.

[Dani]

Had to chime in on this again... My son's psychologist told me, it isn't until at least 2 1/2 years old that children have the ability to make the connection of "You just bit me and it hurt. Oh, I see. That's what you feel when I bite you." They just don't have that type of reasoning before then. I'd hold off on the biting them back thing for a while. At this age it's just a cruel punishment. Not a learning experience.

Just my 2 cents.

[Barbara]

The stern "no!" in a loud voice and setting the child down (break eye contact) worked well with my chidren when they were infants. Apparently they learned the lesson, because they did not bite as toddlers/preschoolers. You have to do the same thing each time, but they'll catch on quickly. You don't seem the type who would try biting back. I think that if you are trying to teach a child not to bite, biting them doesn't send the right message, even to show them how it hurts. Good luck!

[Cory]

I've known some parents who have done the "biting back" thing, and they swear by it. I do know that it does work for some kids, but I can't get with that for myself. I saw someone else suggest it, and if you think you want to try it, go for it.

When my son was teething and he'd bite on us...we'd 'ping' him on his lips, and sternly say, NO BITING. And by pinging him, I mean...just a thumb-and-forefinger flick to startle him, not that caused actual pain. It was enough to draw attention to his mouth, so that he knew that was the area where he was being bad, if you know what I mean. (hard to describe) It worked VERY well for us, and my son never became a biter.

[DoctorMama]

Ah, the biting -- for a while there I got scared every time HellBoy got near me -- he was so fast! And he started in on the other babies in daycare. What worked well was two things: watching for him to be about to bite and giving him something else to bite on (at daycare they freeze wet cloths), and if he did get a nip in, doing the modified time out -- set him down, say "NO BITING," and walk a few feet away. Took some persistence, but it definitely worked.

The bite them back thing -- I thought that went out with willow switches, but I guess not. Sigh. Physical punishment of all types has been proven to be a poor long-term method of discipline, but evidence aside, why would you want to hurt a baby on purpose? I'm generally a fan of "whatever works," but that? No.

[MJ]

It's funny how times change. Ever since they made it illegal to work in a smelting factory at age 5, parents have been getting softer and softer. Backpacks on wheels, switches out of style, tofu. Whatever happened to "do as I say not as I do". No wonder peanut allergies have increased two-fold. If only you had bit them as a baby . . .

Seriously though, I don't think I would be able to bite back my (potential) kids either, this is because I am soft and it would be far more harmful to me than the babe (as appealing as making your child cry must be--Not). I just know what was done to me and what I have seen work. But I don't hang around softies much (myself excluded).
Plus both psychologists AND Tom Cruise look down upon it, so that makes it a big no-no.

[beth]

they are GIGANTIC! my goodness.

[Blondie]

Just to be the commenting pervert of the day...

I'd bite you both myself, you sexy beasts!

hehe

Actually all the great advice was taken so I had to stand out in some way or another.

WOW!!! they are growing up so much. As dumb as it sounds, it seems like a few weeks ago I was reading your txt posts about Adam not coming home yet and all that.
Damn fine job ya'll are doing. Damn fine job.

[Tricia]

I'm a nursing student in the U.S. and my peds instructor told us that using Tobasco (or any other hot sauce you might have) immediately after biting can teach them not to do it. Enough to cause them discomfort, but not enough to really hurt. And it has to be immediately afterwards so they connect it with the biting. Not sure if I'd actually try it (hot sauce can be HOT, and do you ever really have hot sauce handy?), but thought I'd throw it out to see if anyone else has had success with it.

[sheilah]

Got no advice myself. Evan never really was a biter...except when breast-feeding which is why I had to stop at 6 months...he drew blood - OUCH!

Babes are TOTALLY adorable - and so big now.

[Manuela]

Oh. My. GAWD!! Tertia!!! WHO are these delicious CHILDREN? Babies???? Where??? I don't see no stinkin' babies! How on EARTH did this happen so quickly.