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Here's a project for you, Tertia -- turn the blog into a book.

Hey, I'll be your new project!

You can tell me how to be a working mom with two young babes! Give me opinions on business casual clothes on a very limited budget (about $200) when one only owns 1 pair of slacks, two shirts and a semi iffy dress to wear. Tell me how to best fit in after not being in the workforce for 20 odd years.

And then if you can tackle all that, tell me how to make it as a single mom, for me and my kids.

I know. IVF seems less daunting! HAHA

As for the poll, in the past, no I wouldn't listen. Now I would. Someone is having many secretive talks with his family and seeking all kinds of advice. Which is fine. I'm doing that with my mom. But my mom isn't petty and vindictive. His family is. Scares the hell out of me.

Anyway, enough of my gloom and doom.

I totally get your need to feel like you are moving towards accomplishing a goal. It's always good to have something we are working on to keep our brains occupied and feeling productive.

I hope you find one soon!

Um, yes, a book. That's your next project. It can be about IVF if you miss it so terribly, and it could be a way for you to exorcise those demons.

Book Two will be Tertia's Manifesto for the Gorgeous and Divine. Book Three will be The Red Wine Diet. Oh, so many projects!

I can totally relate. IVF was a project with a definite goal to focus on and now, yes there are wonderful babes, but the goal with them (to raise them up to be happy, well adjusted adults) is very vague and long-term. I am dying to hear about your new project. Is it a book? I hope so - the world is so ready.

Hmmm. A lot of multiple moms I know take up scrapbooking. I'm afraid to start, because of the mountain of pictures we have of the kids - it might take over my life!

Another blogger mom of multiples talked about a book lover's project yesterday. It's a website where you can catalog all your favourite books, and rate them, and see who else owns the same ones, and do all your kids' books, and so on. Looks pretty cool, and time-consuming, and appealing if you like lists and categories.
Jody at Raising WEG talks about it at raisingWEG.typepad.com
and the book catalog site is www.librarything.com

Happy project-finding!

Although I don't understand the IF part, I totally am with you on the project part. When my boys were smaller, my project was being a parent of special needs kids. It was a full time job. Between research, therapies 6 days a week and dealing with the insurance company to get their needs covered, I took a one year leave of absence from my job to stay in control. It completely consumed my life.

Well, I must have done something right because they are now all in mainstream school. A place where I was told two of them might never be.

For a long time I used my knowledge to help others (much like you participating on the IF boards) with their children and that became a full time project within itself. I would spend countless hours a day either online finding information and compiling it into plain English for people, or on the phone dealing with a parent's grief over a new diagnosis. I found it exhausting, yet fulfilling. I still do it on occasion, but I'm not really in the special needs "community" any more so I'm not on the forefront of up and coming treatments. My information is quickly becoming outdated, so I'm not as useful as I used to be.

My project now? My kids and their normal day to day lives. Being a class mom for two of them, Sports for all 3, homework, play dates, etc. doesn't leave a lot of time for anything else. In keeping with my interest in their growth an education, I've become very active in the PTA. I am a volunteer junkie. I love it. I'm also very nosey. So, being involved so much at their school, I always know what they're up to. :)

I'm on the edge of my seat wondering what your newest project will be. I just hope it's a quick one! ;) Before you know it, K & A will be commandeering your time for some *project* that you never thought you'd have any interest in.

Go ahead. Tell me to get my own blog. Geez that was long! :(

I so know where you are coming from on the project front. First mine was College and then I through IF into the mix and then adoption. I don't know what to do now because I don't have a project going. I agree on the book idea for you. You would be wonderful at it!!

Sorry I don't have a project for you. My girlfriend's really into gardening, and now she's doing Ikebana, though. That makes a nice project, if you ask me...but I'm not sure it's what you're looking for.

Otherwise, yes I did miss you, asshole. No, I don't think you're crazy because you miss a part of the IVF process. In retrospect, I miss being pregnant some, although quite frankly-- the pregnancy experience was one of the worst, life-endangering and painful experiences in my life. I miss seeing my doctors and nurses. And I really miss my time in Antenatal ICU and the nurses there, and the nurses from Neonatal ICU. Missing time from when you and the baby were both in Intensive Care??? Now THAT'S what I call crazy!!! Must discuss this in therapy next week, LOL!


I say you write a book on Project IVF. Love your style and think others would love to read about your journey. Plus, it might sell well enough to get you out of having to work outside the home....

Boulder stole my thunder and then some. For quite a while I've been thinking anf thinking and thinking of what I could do to raise money for others' IVF attempts. How many of our friends have we seen reach the end of the financial road before they were ready to make the decision on their own to stop? HOw many can only afford one cycle, when their odds are best with three?

I love Boulder's idea of supporting each other's sites, contributing to each other. Yes. Can we figure out a way to contribute to IVF cycles? It occurs to me that if we figure it out we could come up with matching funds somehow. Maybe even from the pharmaceuticals? After all, the more IVF cycles, the more they benefit.

Ok, this may sound like an off the wall idea but what about running a Marathon? No. Really. Here in the US there are many, many training programs that help you train for a run at whatever pace you are comfortable with, and I would guess that in SA they exist too. Most of them also raise funds for a charity while you are at it so there is a double bonus.

It is healthy. It isn't terribly expensive. It is for a finite period of time.

Dude. Don't you have enough projects? Two babes, a blog, being gorgeous and divine, and being queen of the world... that sounds like enough to keep you occupied.

If you really need something else, could you come over and organize my house? And my office?

T, I *totally* know what you mean. I live my whole life oriented in projects.

I think the book would be a great idea if you can do a long project like that. I wrote a book and it was great until it dragged on and on at the end :)

Hey Tertia - I know *exactly* where you are coming from. For 5 years infertility (well, actually, I can get pg, just took me 6 tries to get my two kids) defined my life, defined my friends, defined me. It was my passion and my obsession. And yes, I am writing a book on it (well, with several other women, on immune stuff and fertility).

After the birth of my almost 11 month old, I felt like that chapter of my life came to a close. I felt oddly stranded. Then, I discovered photography. There are just as many blogs/boards to waste time on, just as much stuff to research, and you produce (hopefully) something beautiful. Your post echoes almost verbatim the words I used to describe my need for a new passion/project.

Then again, motherhood is a huge project. There really so much to learn about it, so many books on child development to read. For three years of my life I read nothing else but child development. You are at an advantage to have a mini laboratory - watching two individuals blossom.

Anyways. Hope you find your new passion soon. It will help dull the big "thud" with which you landed in the motherhood role.

I can so relate to the project issue although I am not infertile. I so wanted to have children and had a real stubborn partner who did not. I have baby fever for years. I got pregnant (complete accident) we had a son, After the first was born I wanted another very badly. We had another baby this past summer Family making has has been my passion project going on 8 years. I have been walking around lately thinking now what. I obsessively reseached pregnancy, babies, and breastfeeding for a long time.

I keep thinking ok now my family is complete
What's next!

Good luck finding the project...............
Back to lurkdom!

After my long-ass comment before, I thought of the *perfect* new project for you....

COOKING! You can call it "Project X-tra Crispy"!


Sorry. Couldn't resist. ;)

For your next project may I suggest you help others who can't have children achieve their dream thru adoption.

Nothing profound, but check out "52 Projects" for some creative projects that don't end in you looking like Anorexic Barbie


My new focus is baby related. I'm going to try to do the whole baby signing thing with Clara.
What do you think?

As a financial advisor, I recommend working on your retirement needs - much more fun than you'd think! I have a handmade chart at home that lists my assets and liabilities. Every month I update it to show payments made against debt, deposits made to investments and net worth calculation. I also show a 5 year, 10 year, 15 year, 22 year plan of action IE: 1. take net equity in Non-registered account, pledge against a 2 for 1 loan paying interest-only. Re-direct reduced monthly contributions to Registerd account. 2. Convert mortgage to interest-only, invest difference. 3. Car paid off in 11 months, borrow a lump sum to invest where payments would be equal to former car pmt.

Well, ok, maybe I'm the only one who thinks it's fun.

I've got a project for you: convince the Canadian government that IVF should be covered (at least some of it, anyway) by healthcare. Nothing is covered right now.

How about celebrity endorsement (Celine Dion, anyone?) to kick off a campaign to get Canada moving on this. I don't expect success in time to help me, but maybe someday?

C'mon, waddya say, Tertia? You can work long distance...

Lots of great ideas so far, I've got a dandy that goes along the lines of several here. November 1 starts NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month, but I'm sure you can do it internationally!) - you have exactly ONE MONTH to write a novel that is 175 pages in length, at least. Could be fun. I'm considering it! There's a website - NaNoWriMo.org that can give you info on this - come on, whaddya say???

Definitely a book. You have so much material from this blog that you could either gather together and publish outright, or which you could adapt into something related. A book is such a natural option! Go for it!! :)

I amvery goal oriented too, which usually means I have to have several projects going on at the same time. So my suggestions are themed around necessity, pain, and production... O.K., three ideas none of which are not really original:

1. Cooking - Come on, you're going to have to do it sometime. Eventually those kids will have to eat real food. You can do it. We'll help you if you want.

2. Running - It hurts so bad and makes you feel horrible when you first get started. (For me it fulfills that making myself miserable part that I miss so much from fertility treatments.) In that sense, it's kind of unhealthy, but you feel so good when you're done and it carries over for several hours. Besides that, it's a nice excuse to get outside and buy one of those cool baby runners, and will take care of the olive on the toothpick thing. (I'm still overweight, but don't feel as bad about it b/c I know I'm doing something good.)

3. Knitting - I just started this and it's so cool to see a hat or scarf that you made from scratch. You can make a baby hat in just an hour and two and it's so satisfying to start something and then realize the finished project so soon.

You'd be great at writing a book, though. Or the fundraising thing; that'd be worthwhile too.

Hey Anon-
I started doing the baby signing thing with D. at 4 months, even though they said she wouldn't be able to sign back until 9 months. And whaddaya know-- at 9.5 months she started signing back "milk," "change" (diaper), and bye-bye! I'd highly reccomend it, but you need to be patient.

First thing that came to mind? "write a book!"

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