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As someone who is so totally down with not having babies for five years, I just visited Mirena's web site. Hmph. Why does it say I should already have one child? I find that kind of ominous, like they are secretly saying "You better at least have one kid, because we might ruin your uterus with this thing, truthfully we have no idea if it's even safe, BWAHAAAAA!"

Anybody know the reasoning? Sure, I could ask a doctor, but I prefer to ask the Internet.

'Incredibly talented'?
I am now writing your name in my little book as someone who needs a big hug/favour/kickback.
Should this pregnancy last, my 'bar' will be closed as well. We must be mad to choose nappies/sleeplessness and chaos again. But we are mad, as you well know. I hate the months of hoping nothing goes wrong again, but look forward to the eventual appearance of a miniature Neen...

I was struck by that too, so I went elsewhere (ok, google) to find the answer. I think it has something to do with the size of your cervical opening. Basically, your doctor may have to use a local anaesthetic during insertion if you haven't had a kid already. I suspect this is less innocuous than they make it sound. :)

BUT, I'm interested in this because pills mess with my mood and energy levels, and I'm too much of a manic over-achieving type to accept any treatment that has me sleeping 10 hours a night and still being tired. Hormonal treatments kind of squick me out, but I've also heard that time-release stuff like this or the ring don't cause as much of the awful side effects as the pill, which gives you your day's hormones all at once. Tertia, will you let us know how this works out for you?

After my son was born I was done. Too many miscarriages, too many sleepless nights, so much worry. Hubby got snipped. Then my nephew came along and at first I was getting all mushy thinking maybe just one more.....then he pooped and I didn't have to change him..PURE BLISS!

Two kids, and I've never felt that way-- that I was DONEDONEDONE. In fact after an extremely difficult labo(u)r w/ child #1, I almost needed an emergency hysterectomy. When I heard the doc telling my husband the uterus might have to come out, even though I was completely out of it from blood loss, I mustered up the strength to feebly whimper (though in my head it was a fierce, defiant) NO!!! The thought my newborn never being a big sister to someone was unbearable even after all that hell. And now, with my second baby almost a year old, I still can't shut the door to another one. Just not anytime soon. Lemme know how that Mirena goes. Been thinking about that.

Local anesthetic? LOCAL? Eeeeeeeeeeh!

I'm with you, metamanda--still determinedly interested. Maybe ... maybe they can give me a Valium first or something. Otherwise, when they get out a needle (I repeat: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!) and even point it in the direction of my crotch, the hyperventilation will be imminent.

Normally I'm not this big of a wuss, but ... needle plus crotch equals ME FREAKING OUT.

Ooh let me know how the mirena is. We're craptastic at contraception and I was thinking about the coil. But I had one fitted a few years ago and bled quite a lot so had it removed. I think the reason they say it's better to have had a kid before having it fitted is that it hurts like HOLY HELL when they insert it. The pill isn't an option for me because when I'm on it I like to sling plates around and start fights for no reason!

Don't give away the baby things! That's a sure way to get pregnant. Or at least that's what I've heard. Not sure is this is old wives' tale or just plain assvice. I had my tubes tied at 36 and that was 17 years ago.

I had the Paragard IUD inserted last monday. It didn't hurt, I had no anesthetic, it felt like a pap smear. Since then i've had light cramping and spotting, but it should go away shortly. I chose it rather than Mirena (or other birth control) because it doesn't use hormones. It can stay in for 10 years and be removed at any time.

I guess I feel the same as you T, I'm done for the moment, and don't want to constantly wonder if this is the magic month I will ovulate. It took 2 years of TTC to realize it, but I don't want another baby.

My daughter is 3.5, I'm finally starting to get the hang of this whole thing and stay mentally fit. For me, it would be crazy to start all over again right now.

I have 5 month old twins (3 IUIs to get them) and would love to get pregnant again as soon as possible. DH has definite ideas that we are finished. I'm at peace with having two, as it was the plan from the get go. I just don't want to shut doors yet, even though husband definitely does. I have left it up to him, then, to make sure it doesn't happen because I'm not going back on the pill. He still hasn't made his appointment, so it's not my fault if I "fall pregnant" (love that term!). If you feel this way after all you went through to have them, you are probably still going to feel this way in the future--but one never knows for sure! Good luck.

Forgot to say--although I'd love to have more, would never go through treatment again. It would just have to occur naturally -- haaaaaaaaaa

It took me nearly 5 years between my first baby (v.v. traumatic) and my second baby (totally normal) to come around to wanting another. I think it is TOTALLY normal to not want more babies when your babies are still babies. (Do I get an award for using 'babies' multiple times in a sentence? lol) I wouldn't do anything permanent yet though.... while you may be very done at this very moment, you may not feel quite so done in a few years.

When my daughter was your kids age, I wasn't 100% positive I wanted her! (not really) As time went on and she got older, the yearnings for a baby returned for me. We are trying to have another.

After we adopted our second child I felt pretty done. He was a very high needs baby and he cried all the time, well when he was eight months old I found myself pregnant. Oops! I was actually happy about it. But last year we were in the discussion of DH having a vasectomy. I had not had a period in six months and according to my OB was not ovulating. We weren't being careful because I thought that my chances of getting pregnant were nill. Sure enough my once a year (ok, I've ovulated twice in one year a few times in the last decade)fertile period arrived without me even knowing it. Now we have Katie. I am glad things happened the way they did but I am living proof that you can get pregnant even if you only ovulate once a year.

I also looked into the Mirena. I think it is a really great option for birthcontrol, unfortunately they were unable to insert it because my cervix is as deformed as my uterus. Eek.

Okay i have lurked long enough.I must comment on this!I just had my second baby and from the moment #1 came along i knew i wanted more.I still do not feel done.But let's not just use my feelings for an example.I worked in a urology clinic for 6 yrs where we did vasectomys on average 5 times a day.I cannot tell you how many times these couples came back usually within 2-3 years for a reversal.It seems there was something about having a 4 or 5 year old that made you start to yearn for another.A reversal usually works within this time frame,but it doesn't always and can be terribly exspensive.My point to you tertia is,do not give the baby stuff away just yet.After all,you have been through so much to have your precious(and darling!)babies of course you feel done.And you may be.But at least allow a couple of years to make sure.I think mirena is a wise choice.It is not permanent so you can decide when your babies are older what to do.Keep rockin!!!!

My second baby is 11 month old. I thought she would be my last, so certain, that I had been giving away baby equipment and her clothing as she outgrows it. Now as she nears 1 I have an undeinable yearning for another child. I'm not sure where this will lead us, but it's there and I'm really surprised. I'm just not ready to close the book just yet, so I'm hanging onto her baby things from now on.

I am a mother to a nine month old baby boy we adopted from Guatemala. I absolutely want at least one more (two if we can swing it financially). I would adopt again in a heart beat...well maybe not a heart beat because one baby is hard enough at a time.

However, I would never ever under any circumstances want to go through any fertility treatments again. If I managed to get pregnant accidentally (insert laughter here) then I would be happy about that too.

Having only one child is not an option for our family. It doesn't feel right to me.

I knew I wanted more, but for a while the thought was totally unappealing. Now the feelings of wanting a baby are back. Since you have two, you may really be done, but I wouldn't do anything permanent until you are sure the feelings are past.

We always knew we wanted more than one.....Neither of us really wanted to be a parent to an only child. All the ones we know seem to be selfish assholes. But now after #2, we're sure we're D-O-N-E. It just feels right, plus I don't like the idea of going from man-to-man defense to the zone defense that is necessary when you have more than two. There's something so nice about sitting with one child in each lap. Makes me wonder what would happen if we had three and then one of them wouldn't have a lap to sit in.

After my son was born I had no urge to have any more kids. After my twins arrived (surprise) I wasn't sure I didn't want MORE. Hubby shut down the factory though. When the girls were two months old and he had to share night duty feedings with me (every two hours like clock work for MONTHS!) he decided 3 kids were plently thank you very much. Vasectomy booked. I remember getting the baby urge when the girls were around 4, bittersweet. Bitter as it was not possible, but sweet as I did not have to survive another pregnancy, delivery and the first sleepless year!

we have 4 kids. ages 14, 5, 3 and 6 months. we had 2ndary IF--which obviously got "fixed". Our last baby was a OOPS baby (I was on the Patch--Ortho Evra). We thought we were soooooo done. Thank Gawd we were wrong--and darn it! I had given allll the baby stuff away the previous year!

Ditto to what MollieBee wrote "I had the Paragard IUD inserted last monday. It didn't hurt, I had no anesthetic, it felt like a pap smear. Since then i've had light cramping and spotting, but it should go away shortly. I chose it rather than Mirena (or other birth control) because it doesn't use hormones. It can stay in for 10 years and be removed at any time."
I have had the Paragard in since my daughter was 3 months old and have had great success without a lot of bleeding or hormonal influences.

When I had my c/s with DD (baby #2), I had a tubal. There was some concern that I made the decision so quickly (arrived for an induction at 7:30, found I was on the verge of cord prolapse by 8 and got ready for a section). But we'd discussed a tubal when she was found to be breech at 33 weeks (subsequently flipped), so it wasn't too quick of a decision for me. I NEVER want to pee on a stick again. After nine pregnancies and two babies, there was no good result from those damn pee sticks. Positive? Oh shit, here we go again. Negative? Crap, the IF is back. For us, we started the family looking for two. We didn't expect it would take what it took, but we've got those two and are so done.

My SIL and my lactation consultant both have the Mirena. They both complained of bleeding the first two months, but since then have been period-free for two years. Sounds good to me.

Good luck!

I had an IUD, I think a Paragrad, after baby #2, and I ended up having it removed after a year because of a vague stickling feeling inside whenever I had my period, like something poking me deep within. As soon as the IUD was removed, the monthly poking feeling disappeared. But I had no major traumatic problems. I have lots of friends who love theirs.

In our video of baby #2`s birth, you can hear me say to the doctor doing the c-section, "While you`re in there, take my ovaries out!" But when she was about to turn 5, we decided to go for one more. So we have our boy, our girl, and our, "Oh, what the hell!" baby.

People change, situations change and feelings change, and all you can do is act on whatever feels right at the time. This applies to babies, and.... everything else, too!

As far as being scarred, I think having 2 babies at once is way more than just twice the work of one. Way more. So yeah, I bet you are a little gun shy. Mine are 18 mos apart and I am gun shy. Your babes are still young, too. My oldest is almost 4 and I am just now beginning to realize that she won't always NEED my attention 24/7. I won't constantly be the mommy machine forever. I think that is easy to forget when the babies are young. You feel like they will need you forever the way they need you now. Who wants to add baby to baby to baby to baby? But really, they will become more independant with time and that is when I think you know for sure.

For me, I think I always knew I would want more (but for the first 2.5 years of my youngest's life I knew it was NOT NOW). I have also heard that when you are done, you know. I obviously don't know you well enough to say for sure but it kind of seems like you know. Just the same, an IUD will give you the option of holding off on any final decision. That's a nice option.

Thought about mirena, but I was told I couldn't use it as I've had a tubal pregnancy AND lost that tube. I also have a similar issue with birth control, that and it makes me gain weight like crazy, so I'm afraid of anything hormonal now.

I think you are making a wise decision - thorough protection that can be changed if you so choose later down the road.

As for the baby things, I hung on to several of my first son's stuff and amazingly enough had #2 five years later. However, I have used VERY LITTLE of it - storage did not bode well on these things! The stuff I didn't keep went to my SILs and friends, and now a lot of it is coming back to me, plus some. I say keep a special outfit, MAYBE some infant contraption if you have good storage for it, but for the most part, find someone who can really benefit from it. We'll keep our crib just because my mom and dad still have MY old crib to use when we visit. Other than that (and an outfit or two) it is all going!

I had the Mirena inserted 3 months after the birth of my twins. My twins are 3 now and all I have to say is - I LOVE MY MIRENA!! For the first 4 months, I got a regular period that lasted around 7 days or so - included spotting too. After that, my periods have gotten lighter and lighter and now I have just have a couple days of some light spotting. I would highly recommend it. I had no pain during the insertion at all. In fact, I didn't even feel it go in and when she told me it was all done, I was surprised. I recall feeling a little crampy that evening, but that is it. I would highly recommend it over the pill any day.

Well, first born Gromit is nearly 18 months old and I am still not sure if I want another baby. As I say to my husband, I would love another kid but without the pregnancy and newborn thing.

I haven't thrown out any of Gromit's baby stuff (just in case), which I guess shows which way I am leaning. BUT at 37, I had better snap to it.

That said, when Gromit was the twins' age, I was pretty sure he would be an only. And I am insanely jealous of a good friend who has twins that are nearly 2, and knows that two is exactly how many she and her husband want.

You sound pretty sure as well...(and I am of the belief that once the kids outnumber the adults, you are basically rooted anyway!)

This is sorta on topic, sorta not ... but all this constant-spotting talk makes me want to speak up and endorse my favorite product in the universe, as long as we're doing girlie consumer reports. Anyone considering Mirena (seems like there are a few on here) or anything else that will wreak havoc on their cycle may want to consider picking up a Diva Cup beforehand.

It's much more hoo-ha friendly, irritation-wise, than other options if you're going to be stuck bleeding for like three months, as some of you apparently were. In terms of a normal cycle, its non-irritation advantage isn't so significant (I use it more because I'm cheap, plus I got tired of running to the store at 2 AM like an idiot), but when it comes to prolonged bleeding, the DC would make that type of situation MUCH less annoying, in my opinion. (No, the DC people don't pay me. I don't even know them. Though I do want to marry them.)

Some are a little too squeamish for the concept behind the DC, but if you aren't, it may help you a lot, especially in this particular situation. Just a thought!

Tough thoughts you're having Tertia, with no easy answers.

I have 2 sons aged 14 and 12 and had hoped both times for a daughter. I'm now so happy I have boys although I get misty eyed when I see little girls. When my first-born was a year old, someone asked me when the next would be coming along. I was horrified at the thought! He was too all-absorbing to imagine a 2nd. Three months later i was preggies again and after him I decided enough for the time being. I went on the injection for 18 months and then had problems so went off and was stumped as to what to use so opted for nothing and expected to fall pregnant again (while we made up our minds what to do about fertility.) But I didn't, and so began 2 and half years of unsuccesful trying and agonising. Ended up divorced and the rest is history!

I decided about 4 months ago to get the Mirena inserted and it's been great so far. At the age of 37 and with a lifespan of about 5 years on the Mirena, I doubt I'll need anything afterwards so my choice was kind of a final one in terms of ever having another child, but not irreversable since I can always have it removed. So all-in-all it seemed the perfect solution for me.

The insertion was a breeze and I had mild cramping for a day which was easily dealt with using Myprodol. I bled erratically for the first 6 weeks and my first period after that was just over a week long which had me worried that I'd made the wrong choice. Since then I have occasional but erratic very faint bleeds that don't fuss me at all. The only pain is that I tend to bleed when having deep, hard penetration (appropriate wording saught for!) Also a bit uncomfortable but maybe just coz I imagine the chord being prodded or pulled on. Should go back and ask my gynae about that but not too sure how to put it (um, Doc, when his fingers - or, um, you-know, go too deep, um, is it normal to feel a slight pain and then a bit of cramping afterwards?) He'll probably tell me to just play it slower but I would hate to have to argue that! Me being single and all ...

We went thru 5 yrs of IF treatment before having our twins, and assumed we'd never get pg on our own after that, but if we did that would be great, so I didn't go on bc pills (seemed ludicrous!). I remember when our twins were newborns we said we'd talk about IVF again when they were a yr old. As months went by, I knew in my heart I didn't want to go thru IVF again.

Well, then I DID get pg on my own, and m/c... then pg again and m/c. Obviously I dearly wanted each of those pregnancies, but I have to admit each time I m/c I thought maybe that happened for a reason, and I would think 'wow, imagine, I would've had two 1-yr old twins and a newborn - no way!' and again 6 months later the same thing - I couldn't imagine dealing w/my twins at X months old AND a newborn - it completely scared the crap out of me.

A few months later I got pg again which resulted in my son (there ended up being a 2 yr difference between him and my twin girls). Once I knew the pregnancy was viable and would most likely result in a Real Live Baby, I again was so scared and thought many times, 'what did I DO???' Then beat myself up over it because after all my years of IF, how could I be this ungrateful?

ANyway, rambling off topic (sorry)... I guess my point is I never felt 100% ready to have another baby - never. Even after all the IF, even after the two m/c we had on our own after our twins, even when I was pg for the third time that brought us our son. BUT, I never felt compelled to do anything to completely prevent it either (bc pills, etc.). In my case I have to admit part of that was because we had twin girls and I always had this notion that it would be great to have a son too (selfish, I know). I think another reason relates to your post the other day about feeling 'fake' - who was I kidding that I would be lucky enough to get pg on my own after everything we'd been through, and on top of that actually RAISE these three kids successfully??

If you feel that strongly about 'closing the factory' then it's probably the right choice for you...but if you have even the smallest doubt maybe think about it a while...

"It seems there was something about having a 4 or 5 year old that made you start to yearn for another."

This. Absolutely.

Although I originally wanted more, I found myself completely overwhelmed by two young children, one with special needs. As fiercely as I love them, it was a nightmare and I used to wonder how I'd make it through the day.

Even as they got older and things gradually got better, I still felt "done." (What I was thinking: "What kind of fucking nutcase would I be to consciously CHOOSE to play that variety of russian roulette again, and even with the best outcome, be smacked around by colic and ear infections and sleeplessness, dilute the attention I have for my older children, lengthen the amount of time I have seriously expensive childcare, etcetera, etcetera? More children? HA!!!")

Everything changed when my younger turned 5. I began to want another one with all my heart.

You realize at that point how really lovely they are and how the joys far outweigh the craziness and the risks; you also find you have no more baby, and if you ever want a child falling asleep on your shoulder again, you'd better hop to it.

We did not have another; the marriage, our finances were both too precarious, the genetic component of my son's disability too much of an unknown. But I regret the absence of the third child and always will.

So, Tertia, don't do anything permanent just yet!!!!

Hooray! We will be IUD sisters! I got my Mirena 2 or 3 years ago and it's been great. Insertion was easier than an insem (if you get it inserted during your period, the cervix is more open). My periods had been nutty after my son was born—3 days of pantiliners, 4 days of super tampons, 3 more days of pantiliners, every single month. It took a while for Mirena to fix things, but now I may use several pantiliners a month, and many months there's nothing. And it's wonderful not to worry about pregnancy. Mirena: It's Just as Fabulous as Botox.

Will you feel like this forever? Hmmm.... not too sure. I thought I was done after two. They were rough, as were the m/c's between them. Surprise, surprise when I found out I was PG when #2 was 4.5 months old! (no clue where he came from. do you believe in immaculate conception?) I was actually not too happy when I found out, although I'd never tell him that. It wasn't that I didn't want another baby it was that A) I wasn't ready. and B) I was scared shitless that this was the PG that was finally going to kill me. Well, I'm not dead and damn, that kid we called "Ooops", is pretty freakin' cute and funny! :) Sometimes you don't know you want something until after you receive it unexpectedly. I would be a totally different person today (for the worse) if he hadn't been born. He's my little gift.

Your feelings right now are totally understandable. For what must feel like a hundred years, you've either been TTC, pregnant, or being a mom of two kids under the age of one. It's a wonder you would even let Marko near you any more, LOL! You really won't know until K & A aren't so high maintenance. Very few people "know" they want another one this early in the game. You're too busy worrying about the ones you have. Besides, your memories of bedrest, constant feedings, and sleep deprivation are waaay too fresh in your mind. It isn't until those things are fuzzy memories that you would DARE do THAT again. Never say never. Some day you WILL forget how hard this was. If women didn't forget, our population would diminish.

On the birth control issue... I need to throw in unsolicited assvice. I'd go for an IUD if you don't do well with hormones. If you can achieve the same results without the hormones, why subject yourself to them in the first place?

xoxo

PS - Best of luck to Janine & Scott! :)

After I had my daughter I really wasn't sure I ever wanted another baby. Slowly, the urge creeped up on me again. When Isabel was 3 I got pg (on purpose) with my son.

After I gave birth to William I just knew I was done. The true test for me is I have been able to give away all the baby contraptions and clothes with few tears and no regrets. He's 8 months old now and I just don't have the feeling I'll ever want another. As soon as my husband is ready, he will get snipped.

Maybe you could try giving a few things away and see how it makes you feel?

Another big factor for us was that we had 2 healthy kids and we just don't feel like pressing our luck. Financially and emotionally we have all we need and can handle.

I guess that should say "the urge crept up on me". Ugh..I didn't have my coffee yet.

I've gone through periods where I was convinced and at peace with BOTH feelings. I'd say that my general default has tended toward, "I'd really like the chance to do this stage again." But for about a year, I was convinced that no, our family was done, and I was really happy about that.

Then the universe threw a variety of spanners into the works (more or less: briefly offering me normal ovulation) and I was thrown into uncertainty again. My babies are going to be five in a few months and it only seems to get more painful, saying goodbye to this amazing stage of life.

All that having been said, we're 98% sure to be done. I just wanted to share my experience, which is of changing my mind several times, but perhaps not as much as I thought at the time.

Some people, when they know, they know. In both directions. I wonder if I've ever really felt that certainty, or just imagined that I did.

It changed on his birthday. The first year I couldnt imagine having another.. and thensuddenly I wanted it and within weeks I wanted it almost as bad as I wnated the first... At the moment I realy wouldn't want a 3th wich is a suroprise cause I always love the idea of 3 children. My husband really doesn't want another baby so I hope I keep feeling this way... (2,5 months to go to the birthday..)

It took me about two years to change from the feeling that I was totally done. I had a Mirena but I found it didn't agree with me. The reason I don't use the pill is because the hormones wreak havoc with me - headaches, nasty bleeding, etc etc. I found that even the small amount of hormone in the Mirena did the same thing.
Getting it put in wasn't exactly painful but it was not pleasant either. It did ache a bit for a few days afterwards. They insert it when you are having your period as your cervix is more open then than at other stages of your cycle. If you normally use tampons, you can't use them for the rest of that cycle, you have to use pads. It's to do with letting the Mirena "settle" I think, and let your insides get used to it.

I got mirena after I had the munchkins and LOVED it. I too had side effects from various pills back in my pre-kid days, but I loved Mirena. After the question mark is born, I'm gonna go that route again.

Oh, and I need to scan a picture for you. I have a shot hanging on the wall of me with both babies when they were about 4 months old. Back when it was still as difficult as your early days with your twins. They refused to cooperate for the picture and screamed through it all, so I jumped in the shot. There I am with 2 screaming babes in arms. A picture is worth 1000 words because that shot sums up the baby days quite well.

Every time I walk past that picture, I think, "Tertia needs to see that. She'll understand." :-)

I have 20- month old b/g twins, and at my 6- week appt I talked to my gyno about birth control. We tried for 4 years and were successful with the first IVF after many IUI's. But those first few weeks solidified our previous thought that we would stop with two. Got the Mirena and LOVE it. Was a little painful to insert (but think that was more due to no penetration at all for many month and a c-section - another friend said it was like a normal pap). I haven't noticed any hormonal side effects and now have no bleeding at all. Insurance paid for it so 5 years of BC for only $20 co-pay. Can't beat it.

Now that things are easier I sometimes get a pang - but chalk it up more to nostalgia. It was the fall when I really started to show and I loved telling people I was pregnant with twins. So the season changing is really making me think about that time. But we are overjoyed with our family the way it is!

Good luck!

I'm with Beth...Mirena is the best thing I've ever done. I bled for 5 weeks, but haven't had a drop since then. Insertion wasn't that bad; felt like a pap.

Tertia, I too am done! I have two wonderful kids, and as they grow older (they are 7 and 10, much older than your lovely babes), I know that we made the right decision for our family. I have enjoyed every stage (some more than others- and I admit that those first few months are tough- I can't even imagine how tough it must be with two crying babes so I admire you immensely for getting through it), but as each one grows and matures, I know that I do not want to go back to diapers, bottles, and the like.

Its funny, when my daughter was about a year old, I cringed at the thought of having another baby. I simply was not ready. But it was the timing that was the issue, and I knew that. And we did not start trying for the next baby until we were ready. But we also knew that two was probably our limit. We simply did not imagine a family of 5 or 6 or more.

I am still first in line to cuddle my newborn nephew, but I know deep in my heart, that another baby is not what our family needs.

You are listening to your head and your heart when you decided to close shop. You may find, as they grow, that two is enough. And if not, we will all be here to hold your hand if you decide to take the plunge again.

The baby things? Tough call. If you really feel you are done, pass them along to friends. They will thank you for it and you know that you can track them down if the need arises. Sounds like Janine and Scott might be interested in a few months' time!

I wanted more babies all the time. I would look at my children growing bigger and just yearn for another baby...I still do, but I know I can't do it...not yet. Three is a lot to handle and with a marriage that is quite shitty at the moment, there is NO WAY! I had the Mirena and since I have very strong reactions to hormones of ANY KIND, it turned me into a lunatic. Literally, I could not stand to be around anyone. I couldn't keep my temper for two seconds. I was a MAJOR BITCH. My husband demanded that I have it removed. When I went in to take it out, they told me that I was pregnant. WHAT?!? And here I thought it was birth control...silly me. They told me I would probably lose the baby and I thought, "Okay, wasn't trying to be pg anyway." My son turned up 8 months later. HA HA HA, yeah it's not really that funny. But, I love my son. He's incredible and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I now have the copper IUD (10 year) that had ABSOLUTELY NO HORMONES WHATSOEVER. Maybe this one will work. God knows the pill, Depo, and Mirena ended in my being pg...this one better work.

Don't worry, the craving to have more babies passes quickly, even if it does surface now and again. If you listen to what your heart, mind and body tell you and they all say, "Close up the shop, Tertia," then that is what you should do.

As far as baby things are concerned, give them to friends or charity. By the time you would be able to use them again, they will have expired (yes, car seats, strollers and all types of baby things EXPIRE). You will want new things if you choose to have more kids. My children were all together, three within 4.5 years, so they could share things, but we're getting rid of them all now. Definitely give them to someone less fortunate. I found that is a fulfilling way to give.

I got a Mirena 6 weeks after my second baby was born and I loved it. No problems with insertion, periods gradually diminished until I only had one day of light spotting every month. When my second baby turned 15 months old, I woke up one morning and said, "I need to have another baby." We had given away all our baby stuff; we were certain we were done.

So I got the Mirena removed and was pregnant 3 cycles after that. My 3rd (and absolutely last!) baby is nearly a year old now and I love the Mirena for the second time. I highly recommend it. For me it was the best of both worlds; reliable,, maintenance free birth control, and quick easy ability to change your mind if you decide to try for another.

Oh, and birth control pills gave me major problems; I tried every hormonal cocktail they could cook up and I still couldnt' deal with it. The hormones in Mirena don't affect me at all - they are localized to the uterus and don't go into the bloodstream. It's safe for breastfeeding too.

Tertia, I just had to comment on your feelings here.
I have a 21 month old little boy (who took us 3 IVF's and about 5 IUI's to conceive). I am now pregnant naturally!!! I was in shock. I have such mixed feelings. I think the shock of metherhood was huge for me too, and I find myself asking "What have I done". I am suffering from VERY VERY BAD morning sickness. And allI can think about is the shock that awaits me when this baby is due. Granted, it was a traumatic birth for many reasons, and we moved to rural Africa when baby was 6 weeks old, no support or family around. Bad pnd set in. Then the colic. But through it all, I am madly in love with my son. This will be the LAST. And no, I don't think you are strange or abnormal for feeling what you feel. At least Kate and Adam have each other. There's no need for more! My little one will do well to have a sibling, and I am glad for his sake! But I will have the tube that's left tied during the C_section! I just can't do it again!
Mary-Anne

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