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Hi, I have tried donating some money for Rose. Paypal stopped me saying South African Paypal accounts can only be used for sending money, not receiving. Hope that you can sort the issue out, I think it's a fab idea to collect some on behalf of Rose.

Tertia, you are a wonderful friend for Rose. I have a SIL who has the back pain, indents in the shoulder, etc, but she isn't sure if she wants a reduction. My step-daughter's half sister on her mothers side will be having a reduction done as soon as she is finished breastfeeding her son. She is looking forward to not having to buy the $100 bras. She is currently a 34G, very tiny and very top heavy. One of my daughter's friends had the surgery at 16, she was so heavy and it was already causing her so much anguish. I will definately be contributing to help Rose.


Just a thought about the money issue. If the amount collected is over and beyond the amount Rose needs, perhaps then the leftover money could be donated to a SA charity of your/her choice. Obviously you'll need to get approval from those who donated (some may want their money back if it's not needed for Rose) but it's just a thought.

Oh Tertia,

I hate to be the bearer of what may be bad news, but if anyone collects money states side (USA), they are fiscally repsonsible for it... meaning they would have to pay the taxes for having it, even if they give it away.

I would recommend that your readers look towards finding a charitable institution to be the intermediary (however some funds may get lost through this middle man) as they have a more reasonable tax law governing them. Sometimes a church can be a willing recipient, especially if they work with a church in SA. You may want to speak to your sister and the "happy clappers" as their church may have a sister church that may be willing to work on this. Just some ideas...

I hope this works out.


I've emailed you darling - we'll get it done.

(Rough things happening in Boulder land - but know I'm here to help & we'll conquer paypal!)

amazon also offers something similar, or used to anyway: the amazon honor system. many websites used to it collect donations to maintain operating costs.

Regarding Blair's suggestion -- a girl at our church has cancer and the church set up a "Medical Trust Fund" for donations. When people make donations for her treatment/expenses, they're instructed to make the check out to the "X Church Medical Trust Fund" and NOT put her family's name anywhere on the check. That way they get the tax deduction and also (more importantly, to me at least) her family does not have to declare the donation as income. Right now she's the only beneficiary of the trust fund, but the beauty of it is that should another person need assistance, it's already set up.

Best of luck to you!

What a wonderful friend you are! And I agree that the physical side of the issue is as important as the "self image" angle. So many of us will feel great ourselves being able to help Rose. Hope you are able to set it up so we can. Thank YOU!

I don't really know anything about tax law here in the US .. but, I thought that if something's a gift (less than some amount like $10000), you don't have to pay tax on it. Is that not right?

As another option, what about offering Rose health insurance, as her employer? That's how we get insurance in the US. Is health insurance tied to employment there?

I used to work at an infertility clinic in Manhattan, and insurance policies for law firms did cover IVF because the women partners insisted on it, so the policies were indeed available. I would guess that it would be impossible to find an insurance policy that would cover cosmetic surgery, but if she could show back pain then there's a chance.

Also, it would cover ruling out other causes of back pain before having a breast reduction, and other treatments. Some policies here cover chiropractic and acupuncture.


You obviously can't offer her health insurance as it would cost you more than double her monthly wages. I think the solution is a trusted intermediary in another country (like your brother in the UK) that has a good (for the mo) connection with the US.

Maybe I'm really naive, but in my mall (big shopping center), there is a money exchange booth. I got franks there when I went to Tahiti last year. I called today and asked about exchanging dollars for Rand. They said that they need about a 2-week notice and they can have the $$ in Rand available provided that you provide your currency beforehand. There is nothing to prevent me from snailmailing Tertia the Rand. I trust her to spend it on Rose's tatas and not on wine... ;-)

Edit - Yay Paul - send Paypal acct information please.

T, you are a gorgeous&divine friend to Rose for offering to help her in this. I wish I knew more people as compassionate and generous as you.

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