Your morning coffee.

It’s Monday, and there you are, with your morning coffee, ready to read the latest twist in my oh-so-interesting (NOT) life… and I have nothing to say.

I am feeling all blogged out.  Well blogged out and blocked up.  ‘Tis true, I have caught the lurgy that the babes are suffering under.  It’s not difficult with the amount of snot swapping that goes on with babies.  If it is not baby puke on my shoulder, it is baby snot on my cheek, sneezed up bits of butternut on my leg and a bit of baby poop under my fingernail.  Babies are not for the squeamish or fainthearted.

Let me just say, sick babies are no fun.  Nothing works for the little fuckers darlings.  Dummy in, dummy out, up, down, in the swing, on the play mat – nada.  Naturally Adam is far less fun than Kate.  Ah well, babies do get sick, we will just soldier on.

*Thinking of things to talk about…..*

How about a moan about men of the husband / boyfriend variety?

You know what drives me absolutely farking insane?  Is when Marko asks (in a harried tone) “what’s wrong with him/her” when the babes yell.  You know how sometimes babies just yell.  Just because.  It could be because of a cramp, or they are over tired, or because they are just pissed off. 

Turns out Marko is even worse at the crying thing than I am.  If they start yelling, in the midst of the yelling fest, he will hover around me, getting in my way and ask me “What’s wrong?”  It drives me insane.  I don’t know what’s wrong my darling, if I knew I would try and fix it.  Babies cry.  They just do.

Grrr.  I know he is doing it out of concern but, well, you know.

And you know, besides that, not much else really.  Will try and be more inspired tomorrow. 

Have a super day.

Oh wait!!  I do have a story to tell you. 

So last night was my baby free night (they slept over at Granny's house) and so after slowing down just slow enough to toss them out the car door at my mom’s place (approx 10 mph) and speed off, head thrown back, laughing manically, I sped home to IMMEDIATELY pour myself a huge glass of wine.  Except in my excitement I spilt half the glass (which I obviously immediately replenished) down my pants. 

Because I only had an hour or so to relax, have fun, blog, be nice to my husband, drink wine and do all the things one does on a baby free night, there was no way I was going to waste time taking the smelly wine'y pants off and put new ones on. So there I sat, in my study, blogging away, drinking my delicious wine, wet pants REEKING of wine, (unfortunately there was no time left for the ‘being nice to the husband’ part – some thing's got to give, you know), when the door bell rang. 

This is itself was a highly unusual occurrence as Marko and I have no friends.  So after a while of each of us ignoring the bell, hoping the other one would get up, he cracked first and went to see who it was.  It was the Praying Stalker. 

I have told you about the Praying Stalker before, long ago.  She is someone my mom met at church and who had decided that she needs to pray over/for me. She is really sweet, very lordy and (hopefully) totally harmless.  She means well, but she is just, well, stalker’ish.  She will appear at my house at the strangest time to tell me things that God has asked her to tell me. She is sweet, I shouldn’t mock, I know.  Bad Tertia.

Anyway, so there she was, at my door, at night, during my ‘baby free / have fun immediately’ hour or so before bed.  And there I was, slightly drunk on two glasses of wine, with wet pants reeking of wine.  And she said God had sent her to come speak to me.  Now I am not one to mess with God, so I let her in, apologizing profusely for the smell, trying to hide my wine breath with my hand. 

Marko RAN to the lounge and put the TV on, pretending to be immersed in the movie.  He is a lot less tolerant of God’s little helper than I am.

The poor woman didn’t stay long, to be honest, I think the wine fumes were threatening to overpower her. 

I shudder to think what the poor woman must have thought of me.  I’ve certainly given her stuff to pray about now ;-)

Oh and her message was that God felt I should have my children baptized.  Which I hadn’t thought about.  Now that is a whole other post on its own.  To baptize, or not to baptize……

Comments

[Emma]

That's so nice of you - now she'll have something else to pray about... she's obviously looking for things!

and the baptise thing... I don't know, play the odds and baptise one of them?

[Judy]

Baptism has all sorts of options, depending on your beliefs...some believe in infant baptism (myself included) and some believe in waiting until the individual is old enough to make that decision themselves.

My dad is a minister, and I can conjure up all sorts of stuff on this subject, but I'll just leave my door open in case you have any questions...just email and ask.

[Jessica]

Actually, I DO read you every day with my morning coffee. How did you guess? And I don't care if you're blogged out or not, you are always G & D, and the babes are delightful. And did I mention I'm a South Africa fan? Such a lovely place ... gotta get back there soon.

I've never seen such amazingly friendly and hospitable people as in SA ... and I've been to a lotta places.

As for baptizing, there's something to be said for letting the kids make their own choice. On the other hand, there's also something to be said from growing up with a sense of beloning to a certain community, from which again they could make their own choices.

[Terri]

Nice to know that I am not the only one who has referred to the kids as "Little Fuckers". I do love my kids..really I do. Just some days OH MY GOD!!!!!!

You had me giggling over your wine and Gods little helper. Thanks for the laugh.

[Egg Donor]

My family is all Catholic. Big Catholics, big family (each of my parents have 6 siblings - all boys on my dad's side, all girls on my mom's side).

So here's my funny baptism sorty.

At that time, if a baby died before being baptized, it went into Limbo instead of heaven (the church has gotten rid of limbo since then - apparently it never actually existed). So, not wanting to risk it, my grandfather took me out of the hospital nursery, into the bathroom, and baptized me under the faucet. Of course, he didn't have the church authority to do this. Other religions may allow for such home-grown blessings, but not in the Catholic Church, tower of ritual. That sort of authority is *not* granted to the laity. But, my grandfather figured if I died that it would be good enough. :)

In any case, I didn't die and went on to have a relatively normal church baptism. Yay me.

As for your own kids, I have no real opinions on the matter. However, if you have a church tradition somewhere that the kids may some day want to join, it can make it easier if they have been baptized in that religion. For example, if you want to convert to Catholicism, there's a giant process to go through. BUT, if you were baptized catholic, it's a lot easier. Of course, that only makes sense if there is a specific church/religion that they may want to join and that has these sorts of restrictions. I agree with Judy, though. Don't make the kid decide to get baptized at like 6 or 7 years old. They really don't understand what it means, except that it's something people want them to do. I've seen a lot of very confused children trying to make a decision they don't understand.

[Christine K]

LOL about the "what's wrong with them?"!! My husband did that to me CONSTANTLY when our son was a baby - I thought it was because I was a ped and he was assuming I therefore knew everything, including how to translate baby cry. Now, I'm wondering if it's simply a Y-chromosome defect that causes them to say such stupid things!

Love the praying stalker story. There's always someone out there just dying to "help" sometimes I guess. Well, watch carefully, if she increases her visits, then you just made her more worried with teh wine; if they go away, maybe you hit on hte perfect solution for scaring her away!

Another Catholic here and it's ironic you ask about baptism today as last night I went to "baptism class". My mother (very religious, never missed a Sunday in her life - not a whole lot like me I have to confess) is shocked to find they won't just let you baptise anymore, you now have to attend class. You would have really enjoyed it. There was a couple there who brought all three children (3,2, newborn). The oldest of the bunch proceeded to cry and scream through the entire hour. And one parent would take him to the back of the room where we could all still hear him!!!! Never once removed from the room. There was another dad sitting across the aisle from me TAKING NOTES!!! and asking really silly questions, making me feel like I was back in school again and he was *that guy* that asks questions just to talk. Oh, and my husband? Well I asked if he wanted to go and he said no (very staunch anti-religion guy). Then my mom arrived to babysit and he decided he wanted to come shopping with me afterwards to get paint for our master bedroom and forgot about the church part. So when I tell him to drive to the church, he gets all upset and annoyed and then refuses to come in because he doesn't think he's dressed properly. so he drops me off at hte door and sits outside in the car for an hour!

Oh well, total ramblings with no point. Should you baptise the kids? Totally up to you. Oh, and Marko I suppose.

[Orange]

I think it's the height of hypocrisy to baptize a baby if you don't actually believe in it. My sister thought I ought to do it just to assuage my mother-in-law and my grandma, because what's the harm in it? As much as I enjoy disrespecting organized religions (and even the disorganized ones), I can't imagine that a priest wants atheists walking into his church and telling outright lies (for us, professing any belief in a higher power would constitute lying).

If you and Marko believe in god and whatever religion you'd baptize the kids in, then go for it if you want to. But if you're like me and personally you find it all to be a bunch of hooey, then my assvice is to skip it.

By the way, one of my best friends is in Cape Town right now! She's a brand-new certified scuba diver and will be spending July 1-10 diving among the sharks. Yep, to mark her 40th birthday, she decided to swim with dangerous sharks.

[Peach]

Dear, Dear Tertia... you have struck a chord and I am de-lurking. My only assvice would be that if you do baptize the babes in a religion requiring godparents (e.g. Catholicism) make sure to pick godparents that have the best in mind for the child, not themselves.

I was baptized Catholic and my aunts and uncle were designated godparents (they are godparents to all of my siblings). After my dad's death when I was 12, I went through a whole soul-searching, "Oh, God, why?" sort of phase that no religious person seemed to be able to help me with and I decided I no longer believed in God.

Well, one of my aunts decided I was doing it to spite her and make her look like a bad godparent and hasn't spoken to me to this day. Normally, that'd be fine with me, but did I mention the Catholic thing? Apprently, Catholic guilt is one thing you can never shake if you were raised Catholic. (At least, for 12 years - I wonder if there's a minimum age where guilt sticks with you forever and if you haven't shaken it by then, no matter what your relgious beliefs, you're doomed to experience the Guilt forever!)

Sorry for the digression there, but I'd say do what's best for your children... you seem to have gotten the hang of that pretty well by now! :-)

[Lily]

I'm not baptizing mine but I must say I don't care in the least what you do with yours! It's just one of those rare subjects that I have absolutely no opinion to share with someone else on their personal choice. Wonderful if you feel like it, if you don't, then that's just peachy too!

[Luann]

Another Catholic here. Raised to believe you MUST baptize all babies I'm also living with the catholic guilt that Peach mentions. So I must tell you I agree with the stalker lest I get struck down by lightning (or my mother). But if you don't beleive in all it represents then I would say don't.

I hereby solemly swear I will not induce the guilt on my children if ever I'm blessed with one.

[j]

My thoughts on baptism. I agree with Orange that perhaps it is the height of hypocrisy to baptize your child if you don't believe in it, and I don't believe in it, but I did baptize them anyway. I am an atheist from way back, never believed that I can really remember. But my mother believes with her whole heart, as do many of my family members. If my children died without being baptized, it would cause my mother intense grief, and I was able to live with being a hypocrite so that that never had to happen. My mother, to her credit, did not pressure me at all to do it, although she was clearly thrilled that we did. I did feel somewhat uncomfortable doing it, but the priest was very nonchalant about the whole thing. I was honest that I don't go to church, and he never asked much beyond that. I never actually directly lied to him, other than by implication. I think that even if he knew wem the parents, were atheists, he'd still have been happy to baptize the babies. And the godparents do believe. And, okay, I ordered these gorgeous silk Christening gowns from England for the babies to wear, with these beautiful little bonnets and slippers, and got two absolutely gorgeous cakes, one for each, and had a big party at a lovely restaurant, which was the first time most of my extended family got to see the babies. So, I'm the worst kind of hypocrite, and I admit it.

I think you should do whatever makes you happy and comfortable. I personally like rituals that provide an excuse to get the family together to celebrate, and I don't want to impose my atheism on my children any more than I would want to impose religion on them. I got them a membership, they can decide later if they want to attend the meetings.

[Scully]

Honestly, the Bible says nothing about infant baptism.

[Anna]

Oh man, "what's wrong with the baby?", or, it's related question, "why is she crying?"

I love my husband dearly, but I finally had to tell him to stop asking me those questions, because I DON'T KNOW. If I knew, I'd be doing something to FIX THE PROBLEM!

Sheesh. I have just as much baby care experience as he does - actually, he has 4 younger siblings while I only have 1, so really he should be the expert!

[Anna]

I can't believe I used the wrong "it's" in my above comment. Ah well, I have a 2 month old. I blame the sleep deprivation.

[21stCenturyMom]

Baptism is one of those personal choices only you and Marko can make but for what it's worth I never had mine batized or churchified in any way and they are all growing up just fine. The Catholic ex-MIL has been a saint about it - has never even brought it up although we do all joke about my children, the heathens. At this stage in life they think I did the right thing and that their spiritual development is up to them. I couldn't agree more.

[Bec]

Baptise. Suggest you wear clean pants though :-)) Our coffee is better than your as well! Also... we beat Bangladesh (is that how you spell it)?

[kat]

So sorry they're sick! I know how you feel about the "What's the matter?" I just want to say "They're your babies, too!" Okay now I have my venting done!

[Moxie]

I don't think you should lie. In the baptism ceremony for my church (Lutheran--ELCA, for those who know or care) the parents and sponsors are asked a series of questions to which they answer "I do." These questions include professing your faith in the triune God and rejecting the devil "and all his empty promises" (that one always makes me crack up because it sounds like the devil is going to stop you as you walk down the street and promise you a truckload of dark chocloate if you sign over your soul, but then once you sign he yells "ha ha!" like that kid from the Simpsons and runs away). But if you don't actually believe it, I don't think you should say it. It's not respectful of your own beliefs, let alone the church, and it's not respectful of Kate and Adam.

If Kate and Adam growing up with faith is important to your mother, perhaps you should let her take the kids to church with her on Sunday mornings. That way they'll be exposed to it and will be able to make an educated choice about whether to become baptized when they are adults.

[maia]

Great idea Moxie.

Hey, love todays poll question. Finally I fit in with someone else. Hubby makes the big $$ and pays the bills while I work part time (for my sanity) and pay for the 'extras'. Holy doodle does it work for us. I LIKE spending money while hubby likes to save. Sure has cut down on the conflicts.

[Jacqui]

Yep, another one with a husband who constantly says "whats wrong with him? Why is he crying?" It drives me farking mental.
I don't know. I don't speak baby. Nor do I read baby minds.
Husband and I think all religion is a bunch of hooey, as does his ex-wife and her husband, so my husbands son from his first marriage was never baptised. Fast forward to last year when Jake turned 9 and we all realised we can't afford to send him to a private school in high school. So the available options are public school (some of which are of questionable quality) or catholic school. Except he is not baptised and won't be allowed in a catholic school.
So we swallowed our integrity and embraced hypocrisy and looked into getting him baptised. The catholic churches all wanted Jake to attend sunday school and for us all to go to church for at least a couple of months. Couldn't do that. Then we discovered the Greek Orthodox church, which is related closely enough to the catholic church to allow him into the schools. We spoke to them on a thursday and they baptised him on the sunday. Poor Jake was shocked and horrified by the whole thing. You forget how incredibly weird the whole religious thing is, especially to a child who has never been to a church service before. All the weird singing, the men in ornate dresses, the casting out of satan and the spitting on the ground. Freaky. And then to add insult to injury to have to stand in a bucket in your swimmers while some man puts oil on your body and pours water over your head. Poor poor Jake. His only words after it were "we never have to go there again do we?"
Despite knowing how embarassing it was for Jake we're still putting off getting Asher baptised. We're hoping yet again we'll be more financial by the time he is 13 (he's only 7 weeks now) and he'll be able to go to a good private secular school.

[BIL]

Hi T,

Typical of you to have a question like this.

Baptism is linked to the "born again" terminology, and this is where churches differ on interpretation. Without trying to sound like some other "boring scholars" on the blog, Jesus said to Nicodemus, unless you are born anew you cannot see the kingdom of God. Nicodemus said how does a man reenter his mothers womb, and was told a person must be born of water AND the spirit. Jesus did not mention baptism as that would have given us the term and not the definition. My opinion is that baptism is a repentence baptism and K&A have nothing to repent about.

From our side, our church has a "dedication service" where the children are brought into the spiritual family/community as the starting point, and where the parents and the godparents commit to bring the children up in the Christian faith. There baptism will happen (hopefully) when they know what it means and want to be baptised.

[S]

It's ok if you have nothing to say, and nice of you to let us know.

[Dianna]

We baptised our son. My husband is very non-religious and I'm a semi-practising Catholic. I go to mass, but not that regularly. My husband (who must love me a whole lot) agreed to get married in the church and also to baptise our son. I take the babe to mass with me on Sunday's when he isn't being a horror. Our church has this really nifty sound proof room at the back where you can sit with your child and they can run amok and it won't disrupt the service.

I also have to sympathise with the "What's wrong?" too. I still get it and our son is a year and a half old. He has a horrid cold at the moment and man, my husband is pretty craptastic when it comes to caring for a sick child. Poo head he is. But I still love him. I keep telling myself that as I'm left to mop up vomit while he holds the baby at arms length screeching "What should I do?". Try changing him, numbnuts!

Sorry!

[Angela]

We did a Wiccaning for Ryan. It was wonderful. It's is like a baptism, but of the pagan/Wiccan variety (obviously).

There are many options, and if you aren't a certain faith I find it hard to promise to raise my child to know God as taught by that church, since your usually have to promise to raise them in a certain faith. So I didn't promise to raise him Wiccan, I promised to teach him right and wrong and to help others, etc.

Of course, I am Wiccan, so it was a natural choice for us. Though I know other people who do "baptisms" similar to Naming ceremonies or Wiccanings. We did both a Naming and a Wiccaning. The Naming was a very private thing, just us, but the Wiccaning (which took place when he was about a year old) was for everyone.

[Lou]

Instead of asking what's wrong my husband assumes that every little peep means she needs to eat. No baby needs to eat 24/7- he doesn't get it. He's just trying to pass the buck.

[Lulu]

Delurking to say that if you're feeling all blogged out I'd love to hear your take on Live8, G8, debt relief, Make Poverty History campaign etc. etc. (VERY big news here in the UK at the moment, not sure if so big elsewhere).

I would be fascinated to get an African perspective, particularly from a country which is poor but won't be benefitting from the debt relief which other African nations will be receiving.

Oh and saline drops are the way to go with snotty baby nose....

[1]

Whatever

[Tanya]

This was such a funny post - and hell I needed a laugh. I will be ringing your doorbell shortly so beware.

PS Kliptown was hectic but boys were fine. Drew them a pic of the plane, JHB, Mom and the sleeps before I came home so they knew I was coming back. Of course on arrival I had to draw them a pic of SAA losing Mom's bag with their presents in it - eventually after great strides had been made at the alter of all (sane) parents, bribery and corruption, they understood.