Porn

How do you feel about porn?

Ok, first let me tell you what type of porn I am talking about, I am talking about pictures of nude women or men, pictures of winkies, vags, boobs etc.  No hectic stuff.  I am talking about the type of stuff you could typically see in magazines etc.

So, how do you feel about porn?

How do you feel / would you feel about your husband looking at these types of pictures?

My opinion – I don’t really mind.  I personally don’t like to watch this stuff because I think it is quite silly, but if Marko wanted to look at pictures of boobs and vaginas, then he can.  Even blue movies (do they still call them that?), I don’t mind.  As long as no one is getting hurt, I have no problem with it.

Child porn is never ever acceptable, under any circumstances and would be grounds for instant divorce.  And any other horrible stuff like animals etc, but looking at boobs and bits, I have no problem with it. 

What do you say?

Acceptable or totally unacceptable?

Respond with comments and/or via the poll.

Comments

[lily]

lol. really? cuz the donkeys sure look like they're enjoying themselves.....

I have no problem with "normal" porn.

[Lissy]

I have a theory on this, my dh can look at whatever he likes, as long as he brings himself home to me. I think the whole thing is kind of funny, myself, but if he enjoyes it I'm not going to make him stop. Unless there were ever a day that his porn hobby turned into an adultry situation then it would be over.

I agree with you on the child porn, and animal stuff. Nothing sick, but just normal bits...whatever floats his boat.

I think the funniest part is when guys sit around together watching porn. I mean, what do they get out of that? It's not like they are going to whip out their own bits and go to town while enjoying a naughty film with their buddies all sitting around, are they? So why watch something that is going to get you all excited in a room full of other guys and not be able to do a darn thing about it? I could understand couples watching it together if they both enjoyed it. I just don't find it that interesting.

[Judy]

I'm a prude...I personally do not like it, do not want it in my house, do not want DH around it (not that he would - we're a prude-couple).

It just makes me way uncomfortable.

[Shari]

No porn. At all. Ever. It's against our beliefs as Christians. And believe it or not, it's more of a struggle for ME than it is for him! But I am very blessed to have a husband who feels this way and is committed to honoring the unique and sacred bond that exists between us. :o)

[Blair]

There is a two fold answer to this
1) what consenting adults do for teh viewing pleasure of another consenting adult is adult business and the adults in question are responsible for it... in other words if it is between adults (not babies, children or animals)... it is there business, however

2) I loathe the industry for making it so easily accesible to children, for filling up mailboxes around the world of people of various ages with links... this makes me very angry. I know this is true because I manage a computer lab for high school students and I hate having to figure out how they get past all my filters and such.

Also, I am not to keen on the way some porn has made women look... e.g. very stupid, bimboesque, things of this nature... but, sadly, I guess that would not be too interesting to a man for the most part, though I have heard that there is a company or two that are trying to change that image... needless to say, from what little porn I have seen, it is all pretty weak and just plain silly.

[Tam]

But how can you tell that no one is getting hurt..?

If I honestly thought that all women (and boys) in the porn industry were working there because they were happy, healthy, self-assured young people who'd made an educated decision to take up this career, then I'd probably be happier about it. But many studies seem to indicate that this isn't the case... Also, if I thought that they all were aware of the costs to their bodies that endless DP scenes will produce and were choosing to take part in these scenes willingly, I'd probably be more relaxed. Never mind the bimbo images - I'm more concerned that modern porn teaches young men and women that very vigorous and violent anal penetration sans lube is normal, and will not have dangerous health repercussions.

I just think that this is still an industry which preys on the vulnerability of young women - and young men - and hence it gives me the heebie-jeebies to think of my husband getting happies by looking at it.

[Wendy]

NO WAY! NADA! EVER!!! In colledge(sp) hubby was addicted to the nasty stuff. It took years for him to be free from it. As christians also it is toataly against our beliefs. I think it is demoralizing to women. Were more than T and A!

Blessings,

[Tracey Dixon]

With digital imaging, there's no reason why he needs photos of anyone other than me, right?

I'm not a fan of it per se, but what he does in the privacy of his computer is not my business - unless he's paying for it! LOL.

They're just pictures.

[Orange]

I'm not a big porn consumer, but put me in the porn-is-OK camp (assume we're talking regular ol' porn here—not child pornography, not snuff films, not obsessive consumption of 8 hours a day of porn, etc.). It gets the job done, doesn't it? I don't see much difference, really, between "quality erotica" like Anais Nin's stories, cheesy Victorian erotica, Penthouse Forum letters, porn mags, modern erotica, XXX movies, or softcore porn on cable. I don't use each variety equally, but they all serve pretty much the same purpose: to put you in a sexy frame of mind and nudge you toward sex with a partner or with yourself.

[Jesse]

I know i'll be in the minority here, but I actually like some porn. The videos are too comical for me to watch b/c I end up wondering things like, "Would it hurt to have that waxed?" and "Boy, that really looks uncomfortable." But I do like the pictures.
I was raised in a "It's a SIN!!" environment, but I don't think it really is. (Is there an 11th commandment about it perhaps?) But then, I don't think a lot of alleged sins really are sins. Bigamy is a great example. Everyone from Abraham to King David had more than one woman, and they were just fine. There is no monogomy commandment that I've ever seen.
But I'm rambling. If you think porn is sin or wrong, where do you draw the line? What about women in swimsuits? Lingerie? Tight-fitting clothing? For most guys, it's all the same. In fact, my husband prefers magazines like Maxim that aren't "porn" because he says "They leave something to the imagination." If the goal is to keep your husband from lusting after other women (which is the "sin" part I suppose) then you may as well advocate that we all start wearing burkhas. Men will lust after whatever they see. Back in the day, it used to be women's ankles and hands (it was scandalous to show your ankles.) I don't really think it matters what you show them. If the woman is attractive, imagination will do the rest.

[Katie]

I personally don't care for porn because it just seems silly to me. I can't watch the stuff and take it seriously. But...the hubby loves it and it keeps him from wanting some from me everyday, so that's just fine with me. Heh.

[Egg Donor]

I'm split between two camps on your polls. I'm not for banning the stuff. Freedom of speech is alright with me.

On the other side, I'm very strongly anti-porn. I agree with some of the other posts about how it portrays women. I'm a strong feminist, and I think that porn has several different ways that it creates negative impacts. The women in the industry are often abused. The image of women is very bad in the movies. But really, it is that these films treat women entirely as objects, and teach the men who watch them to treat women totally as objects. I say movies more than images because you could have just a hot naked girl sitting there and while it's objectifying, there's no context. Images can do this as well, but the movies build a strong and consistent context of objectification.

If the objectification/degradation/humiliation of women weren't part of the turn on, why put it in there? If a guy (or girl) gets off watching two people go at it, that's fine. So make porn with people just having sex. But that's not really what is in these movies. It is regularly men being superior, telling women to serve them, and doing sometimes quite humiliating things to them. When there are multiple people involved, it is even worse. Several men abusing some women for their pleasure is not a good picture. A man taking several women to bed to have them serve him is just as bad. I mean, seriously - if a guy likes to watch some other guy ejaculate on a woman's face, how can that be considered as ANYTHING other that a turn-on from watching the sexual degradation of women?

When porn ties sexual gratification to female subjugation, it's not healthy for anyone.

In this sense, gay porn is better (and I mean male gay porn, not some creepy guy watching lesbians – like real lesbians are actually like that. pffffph.). Some of it still ties humiliation/abuse of ones partner to sexual gratification (or, I suppose, perceived power to virility), and that is bad. However, 1) the removal of the gender issues maintains some sort of equality that is absent from hetero porn and 2) a lot of gay porn does not contain a power imbalance between the partners; it shows equal desire and participation.

Would I get mad at my husband? Well I certainly wouldn't like it, whatever it was. Depending on the content, there would be various levels of upsetness (ranging from "why the hell do you want to look at a picture of some naked woman with poofy hair and bad shoes" to "if you really think THAT sort of movie/image is ok, we have some very serious problems" to, of course, "LEAVE" if there are children/animals/illegal-type things).

[Shevon]

Just curious.
Christianity prohibits porn? I'm not disagreeing with this, but can you point me to a chapter/verse?
Thanks!

[Louise]

I like visual porn. Not movies, like Jesse I find them too comical, but pictures. I like more "intelligent" porn, nothing weird, but something fun or artistic or intentionally campy. I like Suicide Girls, and Burlesque strip shows (which, granted, are not porn but theatre). I like Sweet Action Magazine which has pictures of lovely skinny boys taken for women and gay men who don't want to look at beefcakes, but the boy next door. And they run articles about how to give good handjobs!

I think the interesting thing about porn is that most women get their "porn fix" through erotica or romantic literature. Harlequins are the biggest seller of any book ever, and people (women mostly) sure as hell aren't reading them for the stories. So if women can read about heaving breasts and quivering thighs and warmness spreading down there why shouldn't men looking at their nudie pictures?

So yes, porn is okay for me, for my boyfriend, for whomever.

[jacqueline]

Well the definition of "consenting adults" is the one that gets me. Many of the women in the porn industry are being exploited. Is it really true consent if the alternative to being in porn is having your family starve because the wages in Russia are so low and opportunities for women are so few and far between?

I cannot simply look at porn without wondering how the woman came to think this was a good choice of career.

[Manuela]

Interesting... I note that your poll results indicate that most people are perfectly fine with it... yet... most of your commenters seem not to fall in that camp. Hmmmm. Are those who are fine with porn not wanting to comment for fear of being lambasted???

Here's some interesting facts for you. The U.S. of A is the world's largest, per capita, consumer of porn. (I recently read a long complicated thesis on the matter...) Interesting given that I'm sadly bemused by a culture that deems it ok to watch grand scale violence and still call it family entertainment, while the site of a penis on film is somehow considered obscene. Insanity in my books... but then I don't live there.

Travel to say... Europe... where nudity is considered just a part of... you know... LIFE... the consumption of porn drops dramatically.

Or how about THIS one... oh I'm going to get blasted for this... I just know it... but I can go dig out the very current internatinal study that was published here in the Canadian media if you insist, but... as access to internet porn increases... ready for this?... the rate of violent sexual crimes.... DECREASES. Something about frustrated sexuality, maybe?

Sexuality is the single most basic aspect of humanity... it's necessary... it's up there with say... breathing... as far as propogation of the species goes. So the more that healthy expression or visual depiction of sexuality is deemed 'dirty' or 'immoral'... the more the business is driven underground... well... the more abuse that takes place in its production.

And please... let it be understood... of COURSE I'm ruling out children... or physical torture... yes... those things do occur... and that's not porn...its criminal violence and has absolutely nothing to do with healthy expression of adult sexuality.

Porn is just a part of life... it ain't going anywhere... and while I may occassionally browse boobs and vaginas with my dh just for shits and giggles... I say, make the industry transparent so as to protect those who work in it. There's no use demonizing it.

Ok... you can bring it on... I'm ready...

[Alana]

I look at porn on occasion but Im not engrossed with it. Hubby never seemed too interested in it but I don't think it'd bother me as long as he didn't prefer porn to me. He has never treated me as less than a lady (even when I belch).

As for porn that I do/have watched (and it aint often) is only girls with girls. I guess because the porn with men always make it seem like she's an object for him to use whereas with women it's more mutual. No, I am not bi nor have a desire to be with women, it's just a preference when I watch porn.

Child porn, animals, and cruelty are completely out as far as I'm concerned and a person who gets off on those has deep and serious issues.

[Amanda]

I like porn. There I said it :o)

I like pictures, not movies. And personally I'd rather look at pictures of girls than guys ...naked guys are just weird looking. That doesn't mean I haven't seen or wouldn't watch a movie. They are rather silly. What about the written word? Sexual stories? Are those considered porn? I like those too. Helps with fantasy play in the bedroom. Its something we use together as a tool rather than my husband sneaking off to view it alone.

[wessel]

Used to not bother me, used to think of viewing boobs and bits as totally normal male impulse that shouldn't be discouraged. Now I see it differently. What changed my mind? Really not sure, maybe just getting older and developing a broader perspective.

The stories behind the real live women who pose nude are not that clean and happy. I do think there is exploitation going on, and I would not want to gain pleasure from someone else's suffering. Just because a woman willingly agrees to be photographed, and even makes a lot of money at it, does not mean that on some deeper level, she is not being exploited and harmed.

Secondly, humans are easily desensitized. After a while, boobs and bits just don't satisfy anymore, and then it's off to hard thrusting, brutal handling, degrading talk, etc. And then after that doesn't work anymore, what then? One thing leads to another. I'm not sure that frequent viewers (as opposed to occasional viewers) can remain satisfied with boobs and bits. In fact, I think studies have shown that porn appetites escalate. That's my point, in case I wasn't being clear.

I differ from people in my religious sect when it comes to nude art, however. A painting that depicts the human body as a glorious creation is a thing of beauty--but that is very different from a photograph of a woman posed in a physical position that is clearly sexual and very often degrading and crude looking. Also, even if a model posed for a painting, the end product is still far removed from her. A photo of her, however, is just too close for my comfort.

I think it is normal for men to want to see nude women. I don't think less of men for this, but I do expect them to practice restraint. When we are walking down the street and we see a pretty or sexy woman, I always point her out to my husband if I see her first. He LOVES me for this! I see nothing wrong with him appreciating other women's beauty, as long as he loves me. I never thought it was anything special, but he told me that women in his past were so insanely jealous, he thought he had died and gone to heaven when he learned that we could enjoy seeing a pretty woman together. I guess that is our "outlet" for him, which I find acceptable. But, no porn.

[susie]

No problem whatsoever with (adult) porn. I quite like it myself once in a while, especially gay male porn. I have also written a lot of erotica over the years. But if my husband wants to look at porn, or if I do, I think it's perfectly okay. We're both adults. It doesn't get in the way of our relationship.

I'd feel differently if there seemed to be an addiction problem, but there doesn't. On either side.

[Jessica]

Porn (the normal kind between two consenting adults) doesn't bother me. My h can watch it for all I care. As for people being exploited, that's a point, but so are Walmart employees (not to mention the people in South East Asia that produce for Walmart). And buying a Oriental rug knitted though child labour is probably worse from an exploitation standpoint than buying a porn cd in the US.

[fisherwife]

O.K. Someone above needs the scriptural reference that prohibits porn....how about thou shalt not covet in Exodus from the ten commandments? That's a basic one, but the sad fact is that we become dependent sometimes on things like porn for arousal. Also, the habituation can be a hinderance to the intimacy between man and wife. It also holds up an unreal picture of man or woman to behold and that's just twisted. I mean, nobody looks like that! Except on the North Shore.

I was able to replace every vision in my mind's fantasies with an image of my husband and I'm so happy I did. It's so exciting that he is my mind porn, now. I don't want to look at clone look-alikes, I have my knight in shining armor.

[Crystal]

I enjoy it and watch it regularly with DH. We have even made and shared our own. I have no problem whatsoever, as long as its between consenting adults. We dont watch it because our sex life is absmyal (sp?), but because we both enjoy it.

[Lynn]

Like anything, in moderation, it is a-okay with me. I don't really mind having a little pick myself once in awhile :)

Lynn

[ktcakes]

ummm. kiddie porn...What about that picture of your kids in the right hand corner of the screen.

I just want to say, that it offends me. They were not consenting infants. They did not sign a release saying their bare asses could be exposed on the internet to people all over the world. They are being exploited!

I admit I like soft core ADULT pictures.