Exposing yourself

This is what I wrote on the weekend:

Why Sagittarians should never blog.

How many people do you think I offend on a daily basis?

Although I am not huge on star signs etc, I do believe there are perhaps some characteristics that are common to certain star signs.  Like Virgos are anal, Leos are vain, Arians are childish, Librans are sluts, Gemini are two-faced hos.  JOKE people.  Keep your knickers on.  Gee.

Apparently, besides being G&D, Sagittarians are well known for foot-in-mouth syndrome.  We often offend people by speaking before thinking.  We are known to be brutally honest and say it like it is, often offending people in the process.  In addition we are dangerously impulsive with a very short attention span.  We are also known to be excellent lovers and exceptionally intelligent.  Or perhaps that is just me.

Then you take the ‘art’ of blogging, where some fool like myself will write on a variety of topics, some do it seriously, some do it with humour.  However, the problem for most bloggers, is that, like with email, it is often difficult to infer tone and other subtleties in the written word. 

I often joke around in the way I write, and without fail, just about every single day I will get an email from someone telling me how my latest post upset / hurt / offended / annoyed them.  In the beginning it used to upset me terribly, because I felt terrible that I had unwittingly hurt someone, but after a while I realized that I just can’t win. 

Take the example of the footnote post.  That post was done very tongue in cheek, taking the piss at all the times in the past where I have offended someone.  So I went totally over the top, explaining and justifying every point.  And in doing so, I offended someone who said that not all SAHM’s (in this example) were such sensitive types that I needed to explain myself.  Sigh.

I still hate offending any one, and I try my best not to, but to be honest, if I have to sanitize and triple check every single thing I say, this is going to be a very boring blog indeed. 

So if I have offended you, I probably didn’t mean to, honest.  I am sorry if what I wrote upset you.  If you feel strongly about it, write to me and I will either explain what I really meant, or otherwise I will apologize for upsetting you, I really don’t want to upset any one.

It is probably not a good thing for a Sagittarian to blog, but you all stay too far away for me to come visit and Marko HATES chatting.  So you’re it I’m afraid.

Smooch!

_______________________________________________________________________

But then I had a chat to Julie yesterday and she told me that on Saturday she got one of those emails, where someone accuses you of being offensive in a way that you would never, could never imagine being, and in a way that really hurts, and she felt like giving up blogging.  I know that a while ago Grrl felt like that too.  And it made me feel sad.

Last week I also came very close to giving up blogging.  Blogging is like exposing your soul, making yourself open to ridicule, to judgment on a daily basis.  And as a blogger you know this, it is part of the deal.  But it still doesn’t make it easy.  You have to keep explaining yourself over and over again.  And even if you don’t, even if you try not to care too much, it still hurts and is demoralizing.  It makes me tired sometimes. 

No matter what you say, or how you say it, you will offend or upset someone.  I suppose it is just an occupational hazard of blogging.  I have to keep telling myself that when I get one of those emails or comments.

It is easy to say ‘just don’t care’, I try, promise.  But every now and then a comment or email will prick your defense.

But fear not, I am not going to stop blogging.  I am not going to stop being me because a very small percentage of people find me offensive or annoying.  Can’t please all of the people all of the time.  And would you want to anyway?

And Jessica, I AM JOKING!  I know that I am so far from being ‘pretty’ or gorgeous in a model type of way.  I have a long thin face, I look old, I have a figure like an olive on a toothpick.  I am still a few pounds overweight, I am too tall, my skin has flaws.  But who wants to hear me go on about that?  So I joke around about being gorgeous and divine, whatever that means.  We are all gorgeous and divine, in so many different ways.  Every single one of us has something that is gorgeous and divine.  And if we don’t call ourselves that, who is going to?

Actually, you know what, never mind.  If you don’t get my humour then I am sorry.  Explaining myself is just too tiring.

You know what’s funny.  I can handle it (mostly) when people are ugly to me, but when they are ugly to my friends / posse, then it pisses me off.  Then it makes me want to say not nice things.

But onwards and forwards we go, offending innocent bystanders in our quest to expose our innermost bits to the world ;-) 

PS  Just an observation, I don’t know whether it is because the majority of people who read my blog are American, or whether it is something to do with part of your culture, it is almost always Americans who seem to be offended by what I wrote.  Perhaps I am particularly offensive to Americans?  (joke people, joke) 

Back to our regular (offensive) programming.

xxoo

Comments

[akeeyu]

What can I say?

We're a touchy, touchy people.

[Alana]

Well I am American and I read you daily. I'm still looking to be offended and so far nothing, nada, zip. You just haven't offended me dammit! Maybe I'm just to laid back and take blogs for what they are. And I happen to be a 220 pound bootylicious G&D woman myself. :)

[newbie]

This is the first time I've commented on your blog, but have been reading it for quite a while. I think no matter what you say or what you do in life there are always going to be people who have an opinion about it. That's life - that's free speech. I admire your honesty and I think many of these people who take such offense to your blog don't consider putting themselves in your position. If they were to open themselves up to the world and allow total strangers to read into their lives, would everyone accept their thoughts and opinions? Of course not. I'm glad to hear you will not be quitting blogging. Your tongue-in-cheek humour always bring a smile to my face - plus I can't cook either so we have something in common!

[corvine]

Jeez. I have no idea where people think they get off having a go at you because you write something that is YOUR OPINION. Who do they think they are? Get over it, people. If you don't like what Tertia (or anyone else) writes, DON'T READ IT. Go somewhere else and find a nice sanitised blog you do like.

And I cannot believe some idiot had a go at you for calling yourself G&D. You have such an amazingly healthy and refreshing attitude about yourself and we'd all be better off if we adopted it. I wish women didn't hate each other so much.

[Lioness]

You offend me just by breathing. You are the filth, the scum, the pong and the stench that inhabit the void - OH, I DO feel much better now.

Oh seriously, dahlingest T, humourless people are the pits, they simply can't see it. EVER. And then there are the seriously disturbed and miserable ones - hey, I've just got my first troll, she emailed me in a rage to call me names bcs I had the audacity to write a sad post abt U.'s D. - can you imagine? I try not to even TRY and understand, some people live on too diff a universe.

And Jessica - Simpson, you mean? That WOULD explain loads you know. Jessica, you did NOT write to a woman abt her saying she is G&D did you. You couldn't possibly have. Should anyone feel a similar need, consider plucking some eyebrowy surface. I hear bald is the new bush.

[Lioness]

Consider plucking some eyebrowy surface INSTEAD, I meant.

But look here, you haven't offended Alana. That's pretty offensive though, I'd have my knickers in a knot. Alana, fight back!

[Boulder]

Anal? You are calling me anal?

Bitch.

I'm done with you.

[Alana]

Somebody offend me NOW. or not. heh.

[Alana]

Oh wait, I have one. I am a Scorpion and you didn't say anything about Scorpions. What? Do we just not count??? I am sooo offended.

[eve]

You're a Sagittarius, too? Me too! Blog on, Sister!

I think the blogging medium is interesting because, on one hand, we feel like we all know each other so intimately, but on the other hand, we are so annonymous. I *feel* like I know you so well, but I really don't. When you make a comment that "offends me", the first inclination is to send an email or comment. But in real life, if I were sitting across from you, I'd just probably scoff and brush it off. I often wonder how many of those rude commenters would say such things if you were really standing in front of them.

I hope that some famous psychologist or someone does a study or dissertation on blogs and bloggers and blogging. Such intersesting dichotomies in us all...

And I like how you always point out to us how G&D you are, it has a much better ring to it than TT&UPPE [Too Tall & Uses Pre-Paid Electricity]. And I'm glad you think we are all G&D too, because it has a better ring than OS&HL [Overly Sensitive & Humor-Less - which it seems like some of us are becoming!!!] <-- oops, I think my Inner Sagittarius just came out!:D

[neety]

I have just one thing to say: fuck 'em all.
Some people might not "get" you, but the majority of people understand your humour. You don't have to explain anything. It's your fucking blog!
And of course you're gorgeous and divine. I'm absolutely stunning too. People just have to learn to deal with our beauty. :-)

[Alana]

Oh wait I meant Scorpio not scorpion. Damn, now I have gone and proved to be an idiot. I have offended myself. meh.

[Margot]

Hey there

Quite honestly, I have been very surprised at what some people have been offended by. Maybe the problem is not with you?

People can always decide not to read your blog if they find it offensive. Please don't be discouraged by the comments of a few, when most of us think your blog is fabulous!

Margot
ps my partner is a Saggitarius too. He is way more foot in mouth than you!!

[Ute]

Well, I'm German. Which is - according of the rest of this planet - equal to "intrinsically evil, and guilty of everything forever, regardless of character and generation". Therefore I have neither right nor inclination to feel offended by anything in any blog. Anything I think and say is bound to be even more offending anyway. I therefore suggest you continue writing your blog in German, just for us Germans. :-P

[neety]

Oh, and by the way, I'm SO offended. Aries...? Childish?
I like to think of myself as "childlike".

You are such a poo-bum-fart-stinker-shit-head. In the naughty corner, that is unacceptable.
(ok, I admit, I love Supernanny.)

[Lioness]

Oh and what, us Pisces do NOT deserve a stereotype? No? Never heard we're SENSITIVE and PSYCHIC? Well, I never! Don't come crying next time you misplace a twin, you're on your own now.

Bloody SA bimbo.

[Jen-Earthchild]

Well I am very offended right now.

You said Gemini's are two-faced hoes. Um...you left out that we are also CYBIL...can you say Multiple personalities????

I am sooooo NOT offended by anything you write T. You write from experience. In your experience, this things have happened.

To those offended I say this:

When life deals you a big shit sandwich you have two choices....mope and whine about it and then move on. OR you can laugh at yourself. Try laughing at yourself for once. Instead of bitching and complaining about what T writes, try looking at it, applying it to yourself, and LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF AT THE HUMOR OF IT ALL! You may just find yourself a better person for it!

Keep on rockin T. Before I met you, I was hard pressed to find ANYTHING G&D about myself. Now even my fat belly is starting to look hot to myself!

With love....

[Nancy]

Ever notice that the people who are offended by things make a career out of finding things to be offended by?? I think they should just take their offended selves and turn off the computer....

[Liz]

I think people are just kind of nutty. I'm a frequent lurker, and enjoy reading your blog, but why the hell would I be offended by something someone I've never met has to say?? Even if I read blogs who's basic theme I strongly disagree with (e.g. the liberal hater sites), I don't necessarily take offense - of course there are people out there with varying (and completely wrong ;)) ideas. Stop giving Americans a bad name, hypersensitive ones!!

[Sarah]

This post and the subsequent comments are hilarious!
I'm American, read you all the time, and have not ONCE been offended by anything you've said.
Just want to put that out there for the record.
Nancy above me said it best...some people spend all their time finding things offensive.
I cannot believe someone actually tried to 'call you to task' for calling yourself G&D. That boggles the mind.

[S]

For the next e-mail you get like that, do me a favor and reply: "If you don't like it, stop reading it."

[susie]

Let them just get over it. I don't get the sense of entitlement that encourages someone to write to you and tell you that a throwaway comment you made on YOUR blog offended them. It's easy enough to stop reading.

And yes, I realize there are situations where people we love take things the wrong way or read things into comments that weren't directed at them (shooting gonadotropins can do that to a girl, you know), and we should be sensitive when that happens, but still. Those people are often overreacting (even if they can't see that because they are in a hormone-induced emotional state) or else they may be a little too invested in how your words reflect on them. I would hate to see you stop blogging. Let them get over it.

[Thea]

I am a lurker and just wanted to let you know that I LOVE your blog. I am a new mother to a 9 week old son. It was a long and tedious road to have him and I find great comfort in what you write. It has many times made me feel good to hear you speak about your life.

Thanks

[jenny]

USA culture is totally entrenched in being unoffensive, politically correct, and being "proud" of whatever it is that makes one different/special/atypical. We tend to be on the defensive, all the time. It's sort of like we have this mass guilty conscience and are just WAITING to get worked up and frothing at the mouth about something.

You have to remember we're a country founded by activists and rebels - so we continue that fine tradition regardless of whether activism and rebellion are at all necessary. It's part of our Culture. Why do you think we have the highest rates of heart attacks and other stress rated illnesses in the world?

Anyway - I have never once been offended by anything in your blog, and tend to be entertained by the folks who come in with their hackles up ready to get pissed off at what you say. I chuckle at them, honestly. I chuckle at idiots who comment on my blog also - but there aren't that many of them because my blog isn't nearly as interesting and entertaining as yours!

Kisses,
Jenny

[Diana]

I haven't been reading you as long as some of the people here, but I have read through the archives. I haven't found a single offensive thing in all that you've written...because a blog is about your OPINION. There are bloggers that I read with different political views, but I'm not offended by what they say. It's just a different view point.
I keep a blog of my own and have sometimes been offended by the comments that I receive. One woman, about 20 something, made a comment about how she knows (or heard of) a woman that gained 4 pounds during her pregnancy, and how if she were pregnant, she wouldn't gain any. If she gained 30 pounds (gasp!) she would just die. What do I say to that? I thought about leaving a note to tell her she might want to stop reading me because I have already gained 4 pounds, and besides that, my starting weight was a terrible 197!! I should just kill myself! What a terrible mother I will be, raising a child as an overweight mom. But I didn't say anything, and I figured she would find out for herself who I am and what I'm about...and if it bothers her, she'll leave. If not, well, maybe she'll see that weight is not such a big deal.

[Sarah]

I've been a regular reader for many months now, and you have yet to offend me. By all means, please keep trying to!
Many times I've received a forward, and I don't remember most of it, but one line stands out - "Learn to say 'F*ck them if they can't take a joke' in as many languages as possible."

[KelliAmanda]

Tertia, It really PISSES ME OFF when people post things that are totally uncalled for, prefacing their statements with "I don't mean for this to sound hurtful, but..." and then proceeding to be hurtful. I have to say that you have yet to offend me as well (even though I'm an asshole Libra!) and the post you did a while back about being Gorgeous & Divine made me cry - I actually read it to my grandmother over the phone, sensoring a little of the language if I recall correctly, as I didn't want her to faint, but in the end we both agreed that ALL women should view themselves as G&D. At what point did it become a bad thing for a woman to view herself in a positive way? Even if you are describing yourself as G&D in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way, the point is that you *should* believe it, and everyone else should believe it about you, and we should ALL believe it about ourselves. So, thanks for being Gorgeous & Divine, for all of us who have a hard time thinking of ourselves in that way. :-)

[Catherine]

"I wish women didn't hate each other so much." - Corvine, upthread.

God, me too. Hey, Jessica? I'm quite attractive, and I'm NOT joking. Does that say anything about my worth as a person? Does it say anything about the causes for which I volunteer, the charities to which I give, the people I help? Does it say anything about the job I do at work, whether I'm a good listener for my friends, a good daughter to my mother, a loving girlfriend to my boyfriend? No. It's a random happenstance of genetics. I am an attractive woman. I didn't do anything to earn that, work for it, deserve it. It's just DNA. And I see no reason to downplay it because it makes YOU uncomfortable when I say it.

You never hear women say "I look great today" and you rarely hear women take a compliment properly, either. So I'd like to say, right here and right now, I am beautiful. I am hot, sexy, I have a great ass, and I am charming and witty too. And if that makes you uncomfortable, that's a problem that lives in YOU, not me.

Peace.

[Jo]

You think you're prettier'n me! Bitch! *smack*

Did that take you down a peg? Good.

God. The inappropriately offended are so frickin' tiresome. Blog away, o my olive-on-a-toothpick, and fuck 'em in the ear.

[Jan]

The only boring thing about your blog is the way you react to people taking offence. I take offence at how easily you react to people who are offended by what you say ;)

It's your blog!!! Sorry, but if people don't like what you say - tough! They don't need to read it - they should just tune out. Yes, they can debate with you and disagree with you - that is healthy. I don't agree with every single thing you say - but nor do I get offended by things I don't agree with. Jeez.. what a boring world it would be if we all held the same views. Just ignore people who take offence - you clearly are not being mean or taking it out on them personally (I wouldn't enjoy reading your blog if I thought you were just being mean for the sake of it - but clearly you are not).

Why do I read your blog every day??? Because you are open, irreverent, funny and politically incorrect. If you start becoming mega sensitive and pc, then f*** you!

But please, I beg you - DON'T stop saying what you think! And stop letting them get to you!

[penelope]

How in the world can people be offended by things they read on the internet, posted by people they don't actually know?

Hell, if that were the case I'd be so offended by the mysogyny, right-wing jerks, porn, plagiarism, fake news, money scams, poop stories, bad music, and so forth that is out there in the ether that I wouldn't be able to function.

The internet IS offensive. Since when do people think it's not?

Tertia, you've got a long way to go before you reach one millionth of the offensiveness that's out there.

I love reading your blog - I love the cute baby pictures - hang in there.

Don't let the idjitz get you down.

[Faith]

Another Sag...Another American....and I'm African American at that....and not offended. Just amused. Say whatever the heck you want. Your blog, your point of view. If I'm offended, it's the internet-- I can just pick up my toys and go home. (But you see I'm still here, don't you?)

Faith
(Who agrees with the person who said some people make a living out of being offended, and they should just turn their internet connections off.)

[Jan]

What everyone else has said. And one of the many things that's so wonderful about your blog is that you do seem to care what we think and are interested in who we are. I don't see that in most other blogs and definitely not in, ahem, certain blogs related to this one.

[Jillian]

Oh, to anyone that is offended.. Fuck you if you can't take a joke!!!!! Jeezus! I'm still trying really hard to be offended, but alas, I cannot. I'm a Scorpio though, and I think that's hilarious!! I even had to call my G&D Gay Best Friend to read him his!!!!!! :-)

[Jillian]

Oh, to anyone that is offended.. Fuck you if you can't take a joke!!!!! Jeezus! I'm still trying really hard to be offended, but alas, I cannot. I'm a Scorpio though, and I think that's hilarious!! I even had to call my G&D Gay Best Friend to read him his!!!!!! :-) (He's a Saggitarius too!)

[Jillian]

God, I'm a retard.... how the hell did that happen where it posted twice? Well all you G&D people can read it twice!! :-)

[lurker delurking]

I swear some people's sole reason for existence is to find ways to be offended and hence make other people feel bad. Your blog is great Tertia, and I appreciate you allowing us in. If some loser is trying to be offended they will find a way no matter what you do. So write what you want and stuff them :o) And I wish everyone had the self confidence in themselves that you have with the G&D thing - the world would be a happier place!

[beth]

here's me delurking and not giving a crap if i offend anyone. in fact, if there's an overly PC center of the universe type i offend with this, i will be HAPPY.

it drives me nucking FUTZ when people respond to blogs the way you describe. because it tends to be people without their OWN blogs who just sit back and take potshots at others. like they have any right to dictate the content on your blog to suit theirs. i've seen this on a number of blogs--the more outspoken and, well, interesting the blogger, the more overly sensitive, self-absorbed assholes want him or her to, essentially, shut up.

there's always the back button or little "x" on your browser, people.

i'm not a mom, not infertile, younger probably than most ppl who inhabit the infertile blogosphere, but sometimes, i want to just scream, grow the fuck up!! the world does not revolve around you. the internet does not revolve around you. people are going to say stuff that bugs you sometimes. DEAL. WITH. IT.

great example was when grrrl had the "mommy drive-by" posts and people started MAKING. THEM. again, not a mom, wanted to kill someone.

if tertia or any blogger says something that offends you that much, first consider GETTING OVER YOURSELF. next, if that doesn't work, START YOUR OWN BLOG. when in doubt, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. bloggers don't blog for YOU. they blog for themselves. want your opinion / sensitivities reflected? most blogging services are FREE.

[Lisa]

Look, I voted for Bush AND I drive an SUV, and I haven't been offended yet, so. . .

But seriously, when I am offended, it's on me, not the writer. I don't expect people to censor themselves to protect my sensibilities.

[Judy]

Offend away - this is one of the few places I can come and get a good read anyway!

Love ya!

[Callie]

One of the first lessons I learned on the Internet is that no matter what you say, someone will find a way to be offended. I referred to myself as a "retard" once for doing something stupid and got a long, drawn-out e-mail from someone who had a developmentally disabled sister and was offended at my use of the term. Heck, I didn't call her sister a retard, I called myself a retard. Geez.

That said, the whole IF experience has led me (and you, I expect) to new levels of sensitivity regarding the things that I say and write. And I often find myself hearing/reading people's comments through two sets of ears/eyes. There's Old Me, who was bothered by nothing short of someone saying, "You're ugly and I hate you" and New-and-Not-So-Improved IF Me, who hears subtle disapproval when someone says, "Are you two planning to have kids?" New Me hears the comment and thinks, "A lot of IF people would be offended by that comment," while Old Me thinks, "It's just a question. It's just common curiousity. It's a question I might have asked myself without a second thought only a few years ago."

So, I try to cut everyone a little slack - both those who say the (possibly) offensive (to some people) things and those who (over)react to (probably) innocent comments or questions. I truly believe that most people don't mean to be offensive, unless they're actually saying, "You're ugly and I hate you." Call me Pollyanna. I won't be offended.

Write what you feel, and do try not to worry too much about offending, as you already work so hard to not offend that anyone who finds you offensive really must be overreacting. (And if I offended anyone by saying that, YOU ARE OVERREACTING.)

[e]

I must be a closet Sagittarius then.

I understand G&D. Some people just have low-self esteem and need to force it on everyone else instead of changing themselves. I say, if *you* don't think you're G&D, who will?

[Elle]

Love your blog, it is superb. I love how you raise the most interesting & controversial topics. Wish people in "real life" would be brave enought to share like this, it would make conversations so much more interesting and our relationships so much deeper.

It would be very sad if you were to censor yourself on account of a few people who really should just step away from the internet.

[Blue]

It makes me crazy how sensitive many (not all) Americans have become. Everyone has to watch what they say for fear of offending someone. Ugh!
You are G and D and I for one have never been offended by your blog.

[expat]

I would definitely agree that it is difficult to chat to Americans without offending them.

They must just be raised to be so different to us, but I definitely have to watch every word I say around them.

You almost don't realise how much you're doing it until you meet another expat and your whole body just relaxes from being able to speak normally.

[Anonymom]

I am an American and a practicing Latter-day Saint. Nothing you've said on here has offended me and I enjoy your blog greatly.

[KellyH]

This is the number one reason I won't start my own blog. I just don't think I'd be able to handle the unwanted assvice or the shit from people who were offended over my opinions. I mean, I left a comment at Grrl's site when she posted about the training-your-newborn-to use-the-toilet-on-command thing (whatever it's called, I don't really care), and basically said I thought the idea was ridiculous. Then a couple of comments down someone else said, "it's called such-and-such, and it's not for everyone, but it's not to be made fun of either!" Don't tell me not to make fun of it, I think it's stupid and that's MY opinion, asshole. If I can't handle fucktards making a comment about my comment on someone's ELSE'S blog, how would I handle it on my own? I way too reactionary, short-fused, and confrontational, things would get out of hand in a hurry. I admire you and Julie and Grrl and all the other bloggers I read immensely for handling yourselves so well. I could never do it.

[Debe]

No one's been commenting on my blog lately, maybe I'm not being offensive enough? Can you give me pointers?

[Geek's Girl]

Actually I'm offended that you're always offending Americans, what about offending us South Africans for a change, don't we deserve to be offended, huh?

Damn Capetonian ;-)

[Orange]

I much prefer blogs that might be deemed offensive by anyone with a stick up his or her tight ass. Why, I blogged about this supposed "image of the Virgin Mary" on a wall and said it looked more like the Vagina Mary. Fortunately, I don't have nearly as many readers as you, so I don't yet have the folks who would be offended (just those who appreciate it).

I am also coaching a dear friend of mine to use your mantra before her upcoming job interviews: "I am Gorgeous and Divine." She doesn't feel that way, but she totally should and I tell her so.

Rock on!

[Linda]

I love reading your blog and I know when you are joking and when you are serious. There are many times you have caused me to laugh outloud like a bufoon. Please continue to write and say the things you do!
The ones who get it will continue reading :)

Thx!

[Michele]

I've never ready anything offensive on your blog, so I don't get what the offended people are talking about. I'd like to bite them for making you feel bad.

[rebekah]

Wha? I dont understand what is so offensive. I love your blog and, frankly, im offended that you think you've offended anyone. :P I don't know, some days we just have our panties/knickers in a wad about something, and it probably isn't that these people are offended by you but that they need an outlet for their frustrations. Like that lady i offended by "generalizing" too much about Americans, who went on to make miniscule comments about my grammar. Give me a break! I dont think saying "lie" instead of "lay" obscured my point, yet she felt she had to point it out. Good thing I didn't get offended, huh?
I think we are all sensitive, being that almost all of us that read your blog are women. Hormones, ya know? And, you are right, you can't please all the people all of the time. Especially not the people that can't see a joke for what it is.

And, for anyone who would like to quote me: yes i realize that i left out a few punctuation marks, misspelled some words, and forgot some apostrophes and to capitalize some letters. Please, don't let it offend you ;)

[Tif]

I read your blog everyday and when you blog about offending someone in a previous post, I actually go reread the post to see if I missed something I should be offended about. So far I have yet to be offended by anything in your blog.

I admit that sometimes if I'm unsure of how to process something from your blog in my peabrain, I just chalk it up to cultural differences and leave it at that.

I'm a Leo and I know sure as hell that I'm vain. I surround myself with other Leo's so we don't get on each other's nerves by just how vain we really are. :-P

[Kristin]

There seem to be some seriously oversensitive people out there trolling the internet for things to be offended about. They should really try getting lives. And if someone wrote to tell you that you are not gorgeous, then there is just no excuse for that person. If people are offended by you, it's really their problem. Just keep doing what you do.

[beck]

I've been reading you for a LONG time and have yet to be offended!
Sincerely,
A Two-faced Ho

[emma]

I LIKE being offended. To me it means the way I think about something is being challenged. Thus I need to revisit whatever entrenched notion I have and either modify it, or reaffirm the belief to myself. It's how I grow (not taller unfortunately. I'd like to be a bit taller...ahem, anyway).
To me it also reminds me that we are all different in so many ways, and thank goodness for that. What the hell would we talk about if we all agreed on every little thing?
Offend away dear girl! I think the only things that are truly offensive are those said intentionally to hurt - and that is most definitely not how you operate Tertia.
I love reading your blog. Keep doing what you're doing, you absolutely G&D thing!

[emma]

Just wanted to add in case anyone got the wrong idea....
When I get 'offended' I don't immediately email someone in response to whatever it is they've said. I think long and hard about the 'whys' and 'whats' of my reaction, and sort it out myself. I have only ever once contacted someone with my concerns about what they wrote, and thus followed a rational three hour email discussion on the subject. I was left feeling richer for it, as I hope they were too.

[Janis]

I'm offended. Want to know why?

I'll tell you.

This blog is all about you, you , you. Oh and the babes, and Marko.

What about me? Huh? Dammit! ME! It's all about me!

Oops. It isn't? Well... um... uh... I'll just go back and sit in the corner. I'm fine. Really..

hehehehe

JUST KIDDING!

Not abotu the being fine part- well maybe I am as I'm not too fine lately, but you sure are!

Keep up the wonderful writing. This is your home, do as you wish. If others don't like it, fuck them and the horse they rode in on.

Just my two cents. And we all know what two cents and a stick of gum will get ya. (I hope you do- I sure as hell don't!)

Okay- I need sleeeeeeep..... Please send Rose or Beauty ASAP. ;)

[dawna]

I totally have to agree about the americans. Being that I am an American, I understand that the majority of us are oversensitive whiney type people who get offended over everything because everything has to be so damned pc. Fuck it, I say. I'm pretty tough to offend, and really, your opinions are just that, YOURS. Why should I get all bent about what went through your head at one point? Why does anyone really? As though your entire writing is directed entirely at them with the intent of upsetting them. Americans can be so self righteous( I know, I deal with us on a daily basis)

[Debi]

OH DEAR GOODNESS. I know which post of your Possee your speaking of and the offending poster. That was so uncalled for. sheesh. and so far you haven't offended me either. Whatcha waiting for woman? lol. You are G&D and so is Elmers Mum.

[Debi]

OH and Janis?? What did the horse do to you? *big evil grin*

[Lori]

Tertia, I think the majority of people are not offended by your posts (as per the comments here). You can't please everyone all of the time, and I think that someone somewhere no matter what you say, no matter how you try to be nonoffensive, no matter how you write tongue in cheekly (is that even a word) will be offended, and you simply can't prevent that. But those people are in the minority. You are putting your private life and personal thoughts in a very public forum, which is incredibly brave (I could not be so brave), and I hate that you need to censor yourself -- or that you feel like you need to do so.
There is very little that offends me -- and if that were the case anyway, I would chalk it up to me having my own personal reaction to someone (unless the person was incredibly rude or intolerant, neither of which you are).
FYI, you are gorgeous and divine, just like all of us are, when we have the self-confidence to be so.

[Jo]

Tertia,

I apologise I just cannot find you offensive. I have read blogs where the person writing has said some very cruel and nasty things. you have never done that. I think we have become a little bit oversensitive, but as you said, if you hurt someone your apologise. Problem solved.

[MollieBee]

Capricorns are anal, spastic, selfish freaks!

Oh wait, that's just me...

Oops.

Sorry for offending y'all!

;)

[twizzle]

Thanks very much for this post. I, too, have felt like quitting blogging when some fucking asshole was offended by one of my tongue-in-cheek posts that he "didn't get" the humour in. I received the most hurtful email ever and it really shook me up for a couple of weeks -- made me question freedom of speech and censorship and personal expression, etc. (The asshole happened to be my ex-husband, who, apparently, still holds a grudge!)

Anyway -- blogger are brave people, and you are a shining example of an extraordinary one! I love how you say what you mean without pussyfooting around. I like that you keep writing the truth, even though people beat you up. You are my inspiration!

xox,
Twizzle

[projgen]

As an American, I have to say, I am horribly offended: you didn't include Cancerians on your list. Hmph. And yes, we Americans ARE easily offended; it's right there in the Declaration of Independence:
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men [ha. I'm offended.] are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness and to be offended by every little snarky comment we think is directed at us."

T, I'm also offended that you didn't have stretch marks and you're not fat now. I'm going to be SO striped and so fat, if our IVF stuff works. Oh, while I'm at it, I'm offended that you have babies and I don't. Uh-uh-uh, don't go giving me that crap about how long and hard you worked for those babies. Doesn't matter. I'm offended.

Yeah, and I'm offended because I don't have a blog. And all your comments about being G&D lead me to believe that you think you're more G&D than I am. That offends me.

Truly, that people seem to feel free to crap on you on a regular basis is what actually offends me. I love you. I'd let you flirt with me. If I didn't find flirting so offensive.

[andrea]

Tertia, I find it amazing that some people can't "get it" when you are joking...don't they understand satire?

[z.]

girl!! why nobody told e that librans are sluts?? if i'd had known that when i was 13 my life would have been 1000% more fun!! i always thougth librans were all about balance, and that's pretty boring.

and yes, americans are too touchy (please don't hit me)

[wix]

i have yet to have a weird comment or email, but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that i don't put as much out there/on the line as you do. i am MUCH more frank when i comment. i'm a terribly private person, so only 3% of my life ever makes it to my blawg.

that being said, i don't like to read blogs like mine ("aloof") too often.

i'll keep reading yours as long as i can remember how to read. i can usually tell when you're taking the piss, but there are some prissy bitches on the planet who will be offended by the slightest provocation.

[Jen/VintageUterus]

WAIT! I'M THE QUEEN OF OFFENDING EVERYONE...AND NO ONE INVITED ME?

I'M OFFENDED!

*HUMPH!*

[Anonymous]

Another American here who has yet to be offended. Oh, wait, you did just call me a slut (I'm a Libra)! Okay, now I must boss you around and tell you what you can and cannot say on YOUR blog. We read you because we enjoy your writing, whether we agree 100% with your opinions and decisions. We can stop reading whenever we want. But we return. Ergo, you are doing something right! Blog on!

[Amanda Lynn]

Tertia, how funny that you and I are both Sagittarians! Funny only to me really, since I have not posted enough for you to have much of a sense of my personality, I think. Nonetheless, what you said about yourself making comments which accidently offend people definitely applies to me.

I really glad you don't give up your blog - as I'm sure has been written above, it's YOUR BLOG so it's really someone else's problem if you offend them. Plus, the rest of us enjoy you!

By the way, in the photo of you on your site I think you're exactly 'model gorgeous' or however you phrased it above - I think you're babe-a-licious - just my opinion of course.

Keep on bloggin'
Amanda Lynn

[anna]

This is my first time commenting and I too am an American and honestly think your are hilarious. I can't see how anyone could honestly get offended. I "read" your humor but then again maybe it's because I'm an American living overseas and am constanly taken way too seriously. My humor is much like yours, sarcastic and that's hard to pull off in a foriegn language. So I often get strange looks when I was just trying to lighten the mood a bit.

I don't always agree with your opinions and ideas but come on, I don't have to and at anytime I choose I can move on. Though sometimes it's morbid curiousity that keeps bringing me back!

Sorry I haven't come forward before this so I guess I'm offically delurking!

[Angela]

I've been reading your blog for a year and have yet to be offended. I think you're just going to have to try harder!

[Monique]

I knew there was a reason why I felt that you and I were so much alike, why it is that no matter what we write, that we go out of our way not to hurt anyone, *somehow* it happens anyway. We're both Sags, Tertia, and it does not surprise me one little bit.

Not that I believe in any of that astrological horsecrap... But still.

I love reading your blog. Not for a minute have I ever thought any of your entries were offensive. Whenever you say you're G&D, I think to myself, of course!

[Emma]

Wow. Just wow. I can't believe people expect you to sanitize everything. THe great thing about blogs is they are written by REAL people, without editors cutting the 'offensive and inappropriate bits'. (not that I think you have ever been either)

Keep on being G & D, I think North American women can take a lesson there, we prefer to insult ourselves rather than be positive about our appearance. Thankyou! And keep blogging please :-)

[Hazel]

I really can't believe somebody was nasty enough to pull you for saying you are G&D. I just can't imagine anybody being that mean!!

All I can say is Jessica must be really insecure, or 7 years old!!

[Becki]

I adore you and I love reading your blog. I guess if someone writes something really egregious or hateful, I would get offended, and say so. But in general I recognize that blogs are people's diaries that they're being nice enough to let me read. And people should be able to say whatever they want in their diaries.

[Ali]

Who in the world would tell you that you are not G&D?? How rude indeed! I think you are truly G&D inside and out!

Hugs

[D]

Just another lurker that comes out once in a while. There is a song that says "I find you offensive for finding me offensive" I thought that was the best thing the 1st time I heard it. Maybe you should tell the assholes that. Anyhow I am an American and its very very hard to offend me, probally cuz I'm a Sagittarian.

I love your blog, dont stop, if you do then the assholes win
D

[brooke]

hey tertia -- i think you are goregous and divine, i don't care what anyone else has to say about it! ha! anyhow, i simply do not understand why someone would get on your case for calling yourself g & d. too many of us hate ourselves for one reason or another.. i think we should be happy that someone celebrates herself.

[cindy]

I'm just jealous I don't get the 2 maids!!

Cindy

[Susy]

Well, I'm American and you have NEVER offended me (and if you did, I'd just have to get over myself for chrissake). But then again, I tend to offend my fellow Americans pretty regularly so perhaps I'm not the best example.

[Susie]

You know. It's your friggin blog. If people are offended they should act like adults and stop reading - they shouldn't take a squat on their bike with no seat and fire off an angry email. I think people do this because they are so unsatisfied with their own lives they need to take a crack at "stranger" instead of confront the real problem in their lives. Tell them to fuck off and keep writing. Thank you!

[Trish]

Ya know- I could handle troll remarks on my blog from strangers, but once a friend's family member starting posting nasty things about my kids- I packed up and moved blogs. Call me a chicken- but I just cannot handle that type of stress!

Sweetie- the people who take offense at your style of writing are LOOKING for offense. I've noticed that with Julie too- that if she posts something meant to be funny, someone somewhere has to say, "WAAAAH! That's sooo offensive!" when I'm positive no offense was meant. Same here. Except I can't even wrap my mind around anyone finding a single post of your's offensive. Eh, I guess that's because I enjoy a bit of wit mixed in with sarcasm! Love it!

Never ever relinquish your style of writing- once you are afraid of offending everyone, you might as well give up blogging!