I am cross. V cross.
Julie wrote an insightful, slightly humorous post entitled The Bitter Girl's Guide to Pregnancy After Infertility
The gist of the post being something like ‘don’t expect a happy, skippy, carefree pg after infertility, it might just suck and be fraught with horrible risks’.
Well someone took offense and told Julie to basically ‘shut up and be grateful’.
Oooooh, that got my blood boiling at 3:30am in the morning (cos I couldn’t sleep, terrible ligament pain, causing contractions, which in turn causes severe anxiety).
I wrote a long-winded and indignant reply.
I was angry that this person said we should just be grateful and shut up. I am using ‘we’ even though she was speaking to Julie cos Julie and I feel the same.
What this person didn’t seem to get is that you can experience two emotions at the same time. You can be grateful for some things and sad / ungrateful about others at the same time. It’s called being human.
Things I am grateful for:
· That I am pg, I am truly 100% grateful, honored, appreciative.
· That I made it to 24w, so far so good
· That I have twins
· That if this works, I never ever have to do IVF again
· That I could afford to do IVF in the first place.
Things I am not grateful for:
· All my losses, that I lost 7 babies along the way
· That it took 9 IVF’s (incl FET’s) to get this far
· That Ben died
· That I have to do IVF at all, all that money spent
· That my pg is v high risk
· That there is no guarantee I will end up with healthy babies
· That I am at risk for PTL and preemie babies
· That I am at risk for children with disabilities cos of prematurity
· That I have to spend the day on bed rest for fear of going into labor
· That I am so in so much pain I can’t sleep
· That I am constantly petrified out of my mind
Of course I am grateful for being pg, how absolutely ridiculous to suggest otherwise, but no, I am not grateful to have this version of pg. I’ll take any version I can get of course, but am I supposed to be grateful for having an extremely high risk pg??? I don’t think so. Grateful I am, stupid I am not.