I got the most devastating news this morning. A good IF friend of mine went into labor last night, she was 25w5d pg with twins. She suddenly got contractions and they rushed her to hospital. They couldn’t stop the labor and so her twins were delivered this morning by C-section. The neonatalist said her babies are doing fine. Her little girl had to be resuscitated at birth but is now ok and they are both on vents. They were just under two pounds each.
This is devastating news. On so many levels. Lauren and I have had similar paths. She lost her twin boys last year at 18w due to an IC. This time she had a stitch put in. So we had both lost twin boys.
Then we got pg together on IVF’s, she is six days ahead of me, also a boy and a girl.
We have both been on bed rest and have been emailing each other and comparing notes.
What an enormous reality check. No matter how good you are feeling one day, there is no guarantee you wont go into labor the next day.
That is what happened to me with Ben at 25w6d. I was fine, then within four hours I went from ‘crampy’ to full contractions and 5cm dilated. There was also no way they could stop the labor. This has brought those memories and fears sharply back into focus.
The problem is that with an irritable uterus, being pg with twins etc, is that you get crampy often. But how do you know when those crampy feelings will turn into a contraction? How do you know when the BH’s become real labor contractions? And this after I had such a crampy day yesterday.
Lauren has been so good on bed rest, even better than I. I am petrified beyond belief. And we are supposed to be ‘grateful’ to be pg? Yeah right. It’s not about the pg, it’s about healthy babies.
Lauren is apparently doing well, she is being very brave and strong and hopeful for her babies.
However as some of you might know, the NICU is a long, hard, difficult process of two steps forward, one step back. Lauren and her husband have such a difficult time ahead of them. Their babies will be in NICU for at least 3 months. And apparently through all of this she was worried about me! About how I would feel. What an amazing woman.
For those of you who pray, please pray. For the rest of you, please rub your Buddha doll, light your candles, burn your incense or speak to your ancestors, whatever, but these babies have to make it and be fine. She can’t lose more children. Tess, when your email is up, could you say a few prayers for her?
Lauren, my brave, strong friend, well done and congrats Mommy on the birth of your beautiful little boy and girl.
PS: thank you Jen and Brid, for looking so frantically for me, for staying up late to find me first, and tell me in person, before I read the news on our board. Thank you for thinking of me, and thank you Jen for talking me through it this morning, you helped me calm down, thank you.
PPS: I am scared.