This talk about going on hospital bed rest from 25w has got me in a spin. I really don’t want to go to hospital. Obviously I will do what it takes to save my baby/babies, but oh lord, hospital bed rest sucks. It sucks unbelievably badly.
This past Dec/Jan I spent 5 weeks on hospital bed rest. Christmas and New Year. It was horrible. Boooooooooring. Picture me sitting forlornly on my bed, staring longingly at the revelers below on New Years Eve, with my two sips of wine smuggled in by my mother in a plastic cup. But the boredom and missing the outside world wasn’t nearly as bad as this stuff:
Firstly, you have to share a bathroom with potentially three other people. Luckily in my stay I only shared it with one person for about a week. It was horrible. I don’t share a bathroom with any one, not even my husband. I like my bathroom sparkling clean, with only my own germs and very private. I cannot make a number 2 if I know someone is waiting to use the bathroom. I don’t perform well under pressure.
Secondly, pg women pee quite a lot. This means that the bathroom door gets opened and closed, the light goes on and off about 4 times a night.
When you are pg, you don’t sleep that well. With the constant pee’ing, doors opening and closing, neighbors snoring or farting in their sleep, nurses talking loudly, emergency births etc, sleep is scarce in hospital. And you need your sleep. Plus every time you toss and turn your hospital bed squeaks, and the plastic covering over your luxurious mattress creaks. You wake yourself up with the noise.
Thirdly, night staff have a sadistic streak in that they think waking you up at 5am to check your temp and blood pressure is good sports after a long boring night shift. This is followed by your tea at 5:30. Then breakfast at 8am. Which is a fucking long time to wait from when you have woken up. And pg women are HUNGRY.
Then there is the food. The glorious food that is hospital fare. The ante-natal observation unit at my hospital is in the maternity ward. The rest of the hospital is basically a day ward or short stays. This means that the longest stay by a normal person (i.e. giving birth or over-nighters) is four days. There are therefore four meals on the menu. They are (in no particular order) macaroni cheese, a dish with mince of some sorts, a chicken dish in its various disguises and beef stroganoff. Then there are the lunches which are equally tasty and varied. Eventually I was allowed to make up my own meals, but nothing fancy and nothing like home. There was no pesto, sun dried tomatoes, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, fresh pasta, chilies etc, in fact there was nothing remotely tasty. It was all fried this, battered that, with fattening creamy sauces. Oh lord I was sick of that food. Plus the food is all Halaal because it is run by Moslem women. Not my kind of food. Plus who the hell wants to eat dinner at 5pm??
And yet, sadly, you live for your meal times. It is your one excitement in the long boring monotony of your day. Your world becomes so small that any disturbance to your routine is most upsetting. Dinner slightly late is a huge catastrophe, and a visitor over lunch throws your whole day out.
But my biggest pain in the ass of being on bed rest is having to listen to other people’s TV. It drives me fucking insane. I hate TV, I don’t watch it at home and the noise of the TV works terribly on my nerves. So now imagine being forced to listen to someone else’s TV blaring from 5:30 in the morning till midnight. Soaps, all day, only broken by cartoons. Cartoons for fucks sake. This one woman used to watch the Teletubbies!!!!!!!!!! I nearly lost it. I swear this is the part that freaks me out the most. I am not sure if I can bare the TV, I don’t know. I might have to shoot the screen out. Or the patient actually. What a brilliant idea!!
I know it is best for me, but oh lordy, I don’t want to spend 12 weeks in hospital, boo hoo. Not with the TV, please not the TV……
(note to my fellow bed resters at the same hospital, T and J, you are welcome to nod your head, sympathize and share war stories. )