What a mindfuck!

A guy I work with, his wife was pg when I was pg with Hannah. We were due at the same time. Of course I lost my pg, and they delivered a healthy baby. Of course. Then about 8 months later I did another IVF and got pg with the boys. I was pg with them for six months. And then of course I lost them as well.

So I saw the guy this morning and said, ‘how is your little one, she must be nearly two already’. So he says ‘no, she is only 11 months’. ???!!! WTF??? How can that be? How can I have been pg twice, lost two babies and given birth to another and the child is only 11 months old? Oh my god. What a mindfuck.

On another, not totally unrelated topic (is any thing totally unrelated??), it is my fourth wedding anniversary today. And the fourth year anniversary of me TTC. Happy about the one, pissed off about the other. I have a winner husband and an empty baby’s room. Oh well. Maybe next year?

Off to eat sushi tonight, drink lots of wine, have a few smokes and have a shag. All things that I wont be able to do as from Monday. Can't believe I am starting on Monday - scared shitless.

Comments

[Bee]

Yay on the HAPPPPYYY Anniversary and celebratory sushi / shag etc. Congrats my friend, can't believe it's been four years that you've been a respectable married woman!
Commiserations on the other point, if it was up to me, I would've fetched u a baby LONG ago!
Love n hugz
Bee

[Janine]

Ja, I know the feeling: you feel as if you've been through an entire lifetime of pain, when in fact it's only been a few months. v. confusing and crap.

Well done on the blog. Esp. love the hairdressers and re's post. When you commented earlier that you were thinking about going to a re in your area, I gasped inwardly and thought "unfaithful to hdrh?? Sacrilege!"