So Close

Away to Sin City

My new BFFs (monster zit I and II) and I are away for three days to Sin City on a company sponsored breakaway. I NEVER go away on these things because pre kids I was too infertile and sad and post kids I am too in love with my kids to want to leave them, but I think its time to have a little ‘me time’.

This is the longest I’ve been apart from my kids (three days) and I have been so anxious about it. Really silly. But then again, I am really silly.

You know what’s silly is that when the Dad goes away; all he has to do is pack his suitcase. When the mom goes away, she has to:

• arrange for someone (granny) to do the school drop off and pick up
• make sure there are enough suppers prepared (thanks Woollies) for 3 nights for the husband, the nanny and the two kids
• make sure there is enough milk and bread for the entire time
• stock up on pet food
• leave a long list of detailed instructions as to what needs to be done in her absence

I’ve said it before and I will say it again, in my next life I am coming back as the Dad.

This trip away is a ‘thank you’ for the team’s performance last year and the entire team is being taken away to Sun City, a resort 2 3 hours outside of Johannesburg. Kind huh. We each get given a bit of spending money. There is entertainment scheduled for the evenings, but the days are free to spend at our leisure. There are various activities to choose from: game drives, golf, gambling, and a list of other things that hold absolutely no interest for me. I will be spending my days sleeping, reading books, catching up on email and doing some writing. I can’t wait! I’ve travelled 1500 km’s to lie on my bed and do NOTHING! Can’t wait.

Of course, besides my outbreak of adult acne, I also have picked up a bit of a cold. Very, very annoying but totally expected as I have been burning the candle at both ends for too long now. The first sign of some time off and the body crashes.

So, you might or might not hear from me within the next few days. If you don’t, you know where I am. Lying on my bed doing NOTHING. I can’t wait.

To nap or not to nap, that is the question..

Ok, we haven’t done this for a while, and I know you really want to: I need me some assvice.

Should I, or should I not give up our midday naps?

The Background:

The get home from school at 12:30, have lunch and then I put them down for a nap at 1. They fall asleep almost straight away and have a good, deep sleep until about 2:10 from which time we start waking them up. Waking them up can take anywhere between 10 minutes (Kate) and 30 minutes (Adam). They seem to LOVE their midday nap and it is a real battle to get them up.

The Problem:

They are simply NOT tired when it comes to bed time at night. It takes me forever to get them to go to sleep. The last two nights Kate has only gone to sleep at 9:30!!! That is too late. Oh, they wake up at about 7 – 7:30 am.

The Routine:

5:45 Supper

6:10-6:45 Bath

6:45 – 7:30 Watch TV and have some milk out of a cup. OK, A BOTTLE.

7:30-8:00 They are allowed to play in their room for 30 minutes, which they do

8:00 Wees and into bed.

8:15 Someone needs a poo

8:20 Someone else needs a wee

8:30 Someone needs to tell me something URGENTLY

8:45 I threaten to call their father if they don’t go to sleep THIS VERY MINUTE

8:50 I threaten to call their father if they don’t go to sleep THIS VERY MINUTE

9:00 I threaten to call their father if they don’t go to sleep THIS VERY MINUTE

9:01 Eventually their father hears (he is watching TV in the lounge, I am on the computer two doors down from their room) and shouts at them to go to bed, which they do. He then moans at me and says “this shit at night has got to stop”. Sometimes, depending on my mood, I swear at him inside my head. Other times I just have another sip of my wine and pretend I can’t hear him.

Arguments for giving up the nap:

• See above

Arguments for keeping the nap:

• They are really tired when they get home from school (although they do seem to catch a second wind pretty soon)
• I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a break from them during weekends and when I am around.
• Don’t preschoolers need to nap?

Help! I am almost scared to give up the day time nap because once its gone, its gone and I do so love that little break. Poll to follow….

Actually, rereading what I've just written, plus watching the video, I realize the real problem is that I am a total pushover and an asshole and I need to get much firmer about going to bed.  Rats! But ok, lets assume I am going to get stricter, do you think the nap should stay or go?

PS Please don't be fooled by their acquiescence in this video, they were back to tell me something 5 minutes later (if you can't see the video yet, come back in a while, it says it is still processing, whatever that means)

Happy You Day

Although for lots of women today is a celebratory day, there are many women for whom today is at best annoying and at worst, an extremely painful reminder of what they so long for and don’t yet have.

So, in honour of those women, and everyone else, I would like to wish a Happy You Day:

To all the mothers out there: Well done and congratulations for making it through another year without killing your husband or beating your children. You deserve a day at the spa and a bottle of really good wine.

To all the infertiles: Today is a super crap day, I know. Go and do something completely decadent and self indulgent, have a glass of champagne, celebrate your gorgeousness and avoid restaurants, malls and church services like the plague. 

To our wonderful Nurture egg donors: On behalf of all our recipients, thank you to each one of you for this wonderful thing you are doing, you are very special young women indeed

To all the Childless By Choice: Sleep in late, do something spontaneous and book your next fuss free holiday. Like my best friend Mel, I think you might be on to something the rest of us haven’t yet figured out.  

To the women who haven’t even thought about whether they want to be mothers or not: Please see above to guide your decision

To any and all other woman not covered by the list above: Sending you big smooches (no hugs) and lots of love, I hope you have a wonderful You Day.

About to look 12 years younger

Trying out a new product from Rosa Organics. It's a fabulous range of South African organic facial products that instantly makes you look 12 years younger.  I am using it morning and night so that I can double its effect and look 24 younger in half the time. WINNER! 

Like a prostitute on payday

Campers, I am so sorry about the terrible inattention I have focused on my blog of late. I feel like I’ve invited to you come for dinner at my house and I’ve spent the entire evening on the phone sorting out various emergencies.  Necessary perhaps, but annoying, disappointing and leaving you rather inclined not to visit again for a while. I thank you for your patience and ask that you hold on to that for a bit longer because May is a revolting month for me. I am busier than a whore at a World Cup. Which is why I haven’t yet answered your email that you sent to me AGES ago. Terribly sorry! I promise I’ve read it, and as soon as I get a chance, I will reply.  I hate being so tardy, but the demands are many and the time, she is few.

So, with that out the way, let me give you a little update on the various bits and pieces that make up my life.

I am currently at a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet above sea level, hungover, sleep deprived and on my way home after a hectic celebratory event last night. The event was the culmination of months of hard work on a big project I have been working on. I flew up at sparrows fart yesterday morning to help set it all up and by the time the actual event happened, my feet were killing me and I had a splitting headache. Not that it stopped me from doing my thang on the dance floor in a wine induced haze of pre 1999 dance moves. Hello Moderation, my name is Tertia. I don’t think we’ve met before?

Besides the day job, our Egg Donor business is going SO SO well. I am absolutely LOVING it. Plus I am really good at it, which makes me feel all warm inside. Every time I help a recipient it feels like I am helping a little bit of my old infertile self. Of course, I, we, still have to face our first negative, which will happen, but I don’t even want to think about that now. Like Scarlett O’Hara, I will think about that tomorrow.

Next, the kids: Kids are fine. I need to do a full update on them, but here are the headlines:

Kate: Cheeky as hell, has an opinion on everything, knows better about everything, loves her mommy dearly and is now sleeping in her brothers room.

Adam: MUCH better in terms of the sensory stuff. We seem to have it under control at the moment. Doing really well at school, although every morning we still have: “hold me Mom, just hold me for a bit”. Wakes up at night every now and then but much, much better.  I don’t sleep next to him at all anymore and he is quite happy to have his sister sharing a room with him. You can say “I told you so” if you like.

The Pets: Shelly is a different dog since Peter has died, it’s weird. When Peter was around, Shelly was very snappy. She wasn’t really interested in us at all; all she wanted to do was play and fight with Peter. She used to growl and nip at the kids. But since Peter has gone, she has become a much happier and cheerful, much more patient, much friendlier. She is still completely destroying our garden and annihilating every toy foolishly left outside, but she has softened into a really sweet dog. Even Bruno has warmed up a few degrees from steely disapproval to grudging tolerance. On that note, I have got to have Shelly spayed soon because every since Bruno lost his virginity last year (late starter, only recently went straight), he has become a sex maniac and tries to hump everything that moves.  SHE’S A PUPPY YOU PERVERTED BASTARD! Sies!

Next, The Errant Embryo: Not entirely sure what is happening there as I haven’t had time to go for a repeat beta or scan. Terrible Muriel. How times have changed. But I assume all is as it should be because TEN farking days later, the fat lady is still farking singing.

And last, but not least: The Husband. The husband is well and amazingly enough, not really even irritating me that much. This is especially significant if one considers that we spent 9 (nine) whole days together. I am even having fond thoughts towards him. Think I will keep him around for a while longer. (Please note: Like the weather in Cape Town, this might change with no warning at all, and sunshine and roses could quickly change into storm clouds and thunder. Travellers are advised to pack suitable all weather gear)

Well, that’s it. My eyes look like pissholes in the snow and my mouth tastes like something died in it, but besides that, I am very, very well. I hope you are too.

Because I am a little scared of my sister

Even though *I* am the first born and therefore should be the boss of everything, the truth is that I am the boss of nothing and not a single one of my siblings is scared of me. In fact they all boss me around.  I lost my position of authority somewhere between age 8 and age 9, never to be reclaimed again.

So, because I am a little scared of Sister Mel, and because I am feeling really, really sorry for her (her bag was snatched recently, she lost everything! And she can't even use swear words. Luckily I can, so I called her yesterday and said 'fuck fuck fuck' on her behalf), I just spent the last 30 minutes doing a poll for her and fixing a post on her blog. Even though I am so busy I want to vomit.  But she promised that if I did it for her, and she won the 'letter of the month' in next month's Femina she would give me the prize.  If the prize was a dog or a perm.  I don't need the perm as I have naturally confused hair, but I am short of one dog.

So please pop over to her blog and appreciate the fruits of my labour. She is asking for your opinion on the FLDS drama that has recently unfolded in the States.  I am ashamed to say that I knew nothing about any of it until I read her post.  But then again, my head is reeling with absolute horror at the terribly tragic story that has come out of Austria.  So much sadness and so innocent victims in all of this, especially all the children.  Terribly sad.

Read Mel's post here