I get so many requests to
post stories like these and it is always difficult to know what to do. My heart
aches for each one of these terribly sad situations, but I can't share them
all. Not only because I know some of you don't like it when I post these things,
but because if I did, it would be all I ever spoke about on this blog.
But every now and then I feel I have to share a story with you, hoping someone
will be able to help in some way. This is one of those times:
"Louis
Lawrence is a 12 year old boy who lives in California with his mother, Rachel.
Five years ago he was diagnosed with medulloblastoma (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medulloblastoma),
an aggressive brain tumor that targets the brain stem. He had his first
surgery at 8 years. Last year, the tumor returned and Louis underwent his
second surgery. Earlier this year we learned that the tumor had returned
but has hit a region of his brain that does not allow for surgery or
radiation. Louis only has a few months left where he will be well enough
to go out and experience life. After that, he will remain bedridden until
the tumor consumes him. Louis' Mom is a single mother and has taken a
leave from her job in order to care for Louis full time. We are asking
generous readers to donate what they can so Louis can enjoy his final few
months - go to amusement parks, travel to say goodbye to family, etc. The
donation information is on his website. There is also information about
Louis, his illness, and a blog of his adventures, in case readers wish to
follow along and see where he is in the process. The
link is http://www.benefitlouis.com
Thank
you again, Tertia. My little buddy is dying, but I want to do all I can to make
sure his family has lots of great memories of him when he's not with us
anymore."
...but I have to tell you that I had THE most fabulous time away. I had the male equivalent of an all night sexfest with blonde Norwegian twin sisters and their best friend: Two whole days of glorious alone time.
I got up early, had a luxurious shower, got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. I sat in the breakfast room for THREE hours, on my own, with my laptop. I had an omelette with black mushrooms and parmesan cheese, I had two glasses of cranberry juice. I had a bran muffin and a banana muffin. I had a plate full of fresh fruit - kiwi fruit, papaya, pineapple, sweet melon, watermelon, grapefruit, orange, tangerine..... I had two cups of coffee.... all blissfully on my own.
After that I went for a stroll, I chatted to a few people over a cider. I rested a little and then I went for a light lunch. I had delicious meze with spanakopitta and calamari grilled with lemon, garlic and chilli. On my own. For two hours I sat next to the pool, working on my laptop, having a little nibble here, a little drink there.
I then went back to my room and HAD A NAP. I woke up, had some coffee, checked my email, had a long, lovely shower, did my hair, put my high heels and my party frock on and hit the dance floor until 2am.
I am probably the only person who came back with all their spending money. The others spent it on game drives, water skiing, tours, shows, gambling, partying etc. I did absolutely none of these things, but I really had THE most wonderful time. Wonderful. It was just what the doctor ordered. I really must do this again. It is so good for the soul. Thank you IBM, you rock!
(When I got home last night I was telling Marko what a great time I had and he immediately said "don't start getting all sorts of ideas in your head now". He he he. Too late buddy, I've tasted heaven and I WANT MORE!)
You'd have been very proud of me. I partied up a storm last night and only got to bed at 2:18am! Go me! I feel positively youthful. Hungover and tired with patchy recollection at last night's events, but youthful none the less. Had an absolutely fabulous time here. Was very good for the soul. Less good for the constitution, but we will worry about that tomorrow.
Now for the loooooong trip home. Might have to catch 40 winks on the bus. Must dash, the breakfast buffet is calling. Smooches xxx
The roommate from Hell: Me, not my roommate. I am sure she is cursing her unlucky stars that
she ended up with me. Only joking. Half. I
didn’t fart, burp or spend hours in the bathroom but I did get up at sparrows
fart. After three years of not sleeping
in, it is eempossble for me to sleep late. So even though we both got to bed at midnight, I got up at 6. Plus there was that whole ‘unable to breath
through my nose thing’. But I was very
quiet and left as soon as I could. I am
now sitting at breakfast, on my own, with my laptop and I am as happy as a pig
in shit.
Besides the cursed
snot nose. I took EIGHT neurophen cold
and flu tabs and three corenza c’s and three glasses of wine yesterday and I still
couldn’t beat the lurgy. So
frustrating. Everyone went off to party
and I went to my room to sniff in peace and feel sorry for myself.
The good news is that
there wasn’t enough room in the entry level hotel in which 90% of the IBMers
were booked, so a few of us (yours truly included) were bumped up to the much
nicer hotel next door. Yay!
So, all is well so far
in Sin City. I might even take a little
stroll in the gardens. Or not. I might
just carry on doing nothing. How
fabulous.
PS I think I might be
antisocial. I’m not sure, but I am
having definite ‘happy to be on my own’ moments. More on that later.
My new BFFs (monster
zit I and II) and I are away for three days to Sin City on a company sponsored
breakaway. I NEVER go away on these
things because pre kids I was too infertile and sad and post kids I am too in
love with my kids to want to leave them, but I think its time to have a little
‘me time’.
This is the longest
I’ve been apart from my kids (three days) and I have been so anxious about
it. Really silly. But then again, I am really silly.
You know what’s silly
is that when the Dad goes away; all he has to do is pack his suitcase. When the mom goes away, she has to:
arrange for someone (granny) to do the school drop off and pick up
make sure there are enough suppers prepared (thanks Woollies) for 3 nights for the husband, the nanny and the two kids
make sure there is enough milk and bread for the entire time
stock up on pet food
leave a long list of detailed instructions as to what needs to be done in her absence
I’ve said it before
and I will say it again, in my next life I am coming back as the Dad.
This trip away is a
‘thank you’ for the team’s performance last year and the entire team is being
taken away to Sun City, a resort 2 3 hours outside of Johannesburg. Kind huh. We each get given a bit of spending money. There is entertainment scheduled for the
evenings, but the days are free to spend at our leisure. There are various activities to choose from:
game drives, golf, gambling, and a list of other things that hold absolutely no
interest for me. I will be spending my
days sleeping, reading books, catching up on email and doing some writing. I can’t wait! I’ve travelled 1500 km’s to lie on my bed and do NOTHING! Can’t wait.
Of course, besides my
outbreak of adult acne, I also have picked up a bit of a cold. Very, very annoying but totally expected as I
have been burning the candle at both ends for too long now. The first sign of
some time off and the body crashes.
So, you might or might
not hear from me within the next few days. If you don’t, you know where I am. Lying on my bed doing NOTHING. I can’t wait.
Ok, we haven’t done this for a while, and I know you really want
to: I need me some assvice.
Should I, or should I not give up our midday naps?
The Background:
The get home from school at 12:30, have lunch and then I put them down
for a nap at 1. They fall asleep almost straight away and have a good, deep
sleep until about 2:10 from which time we start waking them up. Waking them up can take anywhere between 10
minutes (Kate) and 30 minutes (Adam). They seem to LOVE their midday nap and it is a real battle to get them
up.
The Problem:
They are simply NOT tired when it comes to bed time at night. It takes me forever to get them to go to
sleep. The last two nights Kate has only
gone to sleep at 9:30!!! That is too
late. Oh, they wake up at about 7 – 7:30
am.
The Routine:
5:45 Supper
6:10-6:45 Bath
6:45 – 7:30 Watch TV and have some milk out of a cup. OK, A BOTTLE.
7:30-8:00 They are allowed to play in their room for 30 minutes, which
they do
8:00 Wees and into bed.
8:15 Someone needs a poo
8:20 Someone else needs a wee
8:30 Someone needs to tell me
something URGENTLY
8:45 I threaten to call their
father if they don’t go to sleep THIS VERY MINUTE
8:50 I threaten to call their
father if they don’t go to sleep THIS VERY MINUTE
9:00 I threaten to call their
father if they don’t go to sleep THIS VERY MINUTE
9:01 Eventually their father
hears (he is watching TV in the lounge, I am on the computer two doors down from their room) and shouts at them to go to bed, which they do. He then moans at me and says “this shit at
night has got to stop”. Sometimes,
depending on my mood, I swear at him inside my head. Other times I just have another sip of my
wine and pretend I can’t hear him.
Arguments for
giving up the nap:
See above
Arguments for keeping the nap:
They are really tired when they get home from school (although they do seem to catch a second wind pretty soon)
I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a break from them during weekends and when I am around.
Don’t preschoolers need to nap?
Help! I am almost scared to give up the day time
nap because once its gone, its gone and I do so love that little break. Poll to
follow….
Actually, rereading what I've just written, plus watching the video, I realize the real problem is that I am a total pushover and an asshole and I need to get much firmer about going to bed. Rats! But ok, lets assume I am going to get stricter, do you think the nap should stay or go?
PS Please don't be fooled by their acquiescence in this video, they were back to tell me something 5 minutes later (if you can't see the video yet, come back in a while, it says it is still processing, whatever that means)
Although for lots of women
today is a celebratory day, there are many women for whom today is at best annoying
and at worst, an extremely painful reminder of what they so long for and don’t
yet have.
So, in honour of those
women, and everyone else, I would like to wish a Happy You Day:
To all the mothers out
there: Well done and congratulations for
making it through another year without killing your husband or beating your
children. You deserve a day at the spa and a bottle of really good wine.
To all the infertiles: Today is a super crap day, I know. Go and do something completely decadent and
self indulgent, have a glass of champagne, celebrate your gorgeousness and
avoid restaurants, malls and church services like the plague.
To our wonderful
Nurture egg donors: On behalf of all our
recipients, thank you to each one of you for this wonderful thing you are
doing, you are very special young women indeed
To all the Childless
By Choice: Sleep in late, do something spontaneous
and book your next fuss free holiday. Like my best friend Mel, I think you
might be on to something the rest of us haven’t yet figured out.
To the women who haven’t
even thought about whether they want to be mothers or not: Please see above to guide your decision
To any and all other
woman not covered by the list above: Sending you big smooches (no hugs) and lots of love, I hope you have a
wonderful You Day.
Trying out a new product from Rosa Organics. It's a fabulous range of South African organic facial products that instantly makes you look 12 years younger. I am using it morning and night so that I can double its effect and look 24 younger in half the time. WINNER!
